The extra friend.

View Quoted Comment That's a good idea!

View Quoted Comment But she isn't wearing any special or anything? Just whatever she wants?

View Quoted Comment I 100% agree with this! I personally feel it's more of an honor to be asked to be a personal attendant than a bridesmaid even. You get to be there for everything! Some however don't realize the role/work it takes go be a personal. I feel like a lot of brides also don't take advantage of having that friend help, not a paid position. I feel like if you're a midwesterner we do it differnt than the coasts as far as positions go too. Thank you for your response!

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I think that's everyone's point. It's a lot of work. No one is honored to fetch you coffee or run your errands. I paid a DOC $1300 to do that. I would never ask my friend to do it for free and then act like it was an honor for her.

View Quoted Comment I guess I have been PA 3x and it was an honor. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 🤷‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Yeah i guess she doesn’t necessarily have a special role. i just want her there to enjoy the morning with us and be able to get ready with everyone and then just attend my wedding as a normal guest since being in the wedding was too much for her to take on at this particular time

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Exactly. The honored people on my day are my bridesmaids standing up with me who will not be lifting a finger or doing any work at my wedding because none of us are working the wedding - that is what the DOC is for. I'm also a midwestern bride and have never heard of a personal attendant being an honored position. My guess is the friend is going to feel the slight of not being chosen as a bridesmaid and being given a consolation "prize" instead.

View Quoted Comment The one was all about it. The other I haven’t talked to yet, but I’m assuming she knows lol I’ve been the “extra friend” before and honestly I liked it more than being a bridesmaid 😂😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Hey, you should let her read a poem or a quote from one on your or your fiance favorite book in the middle of the ceremony. she can be part of your wedding and pictures

View Quoted Comment It’s completely up to you girl! but i have 4 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen just because we don’t have another girl and i don’t wanna have someone in my wedding just for it to be symmetrical. we’re planning to have 2 groomsmen walk one of the bridesmaids down. but i totally get the personal preference of wanting to to be symmetrical. we almost didn’t ask one of our groomsmen to be in it for that reason, but then we realized he was special to us and that’s more important to us personally.

I offered my fiance a choice on his sister. I told her she could be a grooms woman, or bridesmaid. He chose her role to be an usher.

I say add her I was going to have 7 BM in my wedding before we decided to not have a big wedding. It's your day so you should be able to do whatever you want Bride

I can tell you're struggling with this and so just some advice from the "been there" side of things...I thought I could compensate for not having a good friend in the wedding by making her son a ring bearer to "keep things even" (and for the record I had 6 as well) and I just never felt right about it. I ended up adding her anyways. Now, as fate would have it, one of the girls had a pre-planned/booked vacation on our date and had to step down...which kinda sucked but We got engaged in August and wanted a June/July wedding (2 teachers) so we had to go with the available dates our venue had. Not to mention this venue was literally $4200 cheaper than the rest!

TLDR; make her a bridesmaid! You won't regret it or care about symmetry!

What if you have her do a reading during the ceremony? Or great the guest as they come in?

I had a girl on my shortlist to be a bridesmaid, but ultimately decided to keep my numbers lower. I asked her to guest book attendant. Shes the kind of girl that is honored I asked but also relieved to not be a bridesmaid.