The generic thank you card

So ... was it like a blank card on the inside or a postcard without any writing? Still that's weird. I actually got criticized for writing TOO long of a message. Sheesh.

Ugh. This really bothers me. We went to a wedding for close friends back in May and didn't receive a thank you card until September. If that wasn't bad enough, the inside note was a preprinted, generic note thanking us for coming to the wedding. It was very obvious that they ordered 150 of the exact same thank you note and didn't even bother to write our names on it or even sign it. Both H and I were baffled and kind of peeved. We both had to take half days at work to attend your wedding, gifted you bridal shower gifts even though I was unable to attend your shower (which I never got a thank you note for) and gifted you $250 for your wedding. The least you could do was hand write the card!

Shelby: postcard-like. Not signed or anything, like trying hard to be a Christmas card.

I think everyone is quick to judge. How many people were at the wedding. I remember one bride on here had over 300 guest show up and she was upset about the amount who didn't. I am sure even more sent gifts. Is she supposed to hand write a thank you note to 300+?

@ Precious, Yes she is. All 300, handwritten, if it's signed by both spouses, even better. Yes, I am judging.

DH and I HAND WROTE 275 thank you notes. We got married on October 11th and took a two week honeymoon. In the following two weeks, WE wrote every last Thank You. They were all written and sent out by our "One Month Anniversary". I wrote on one half a personal message and DH wrote on the other. Not just signing names - an actual message. It is doable and if you are thankful for your gifts and have any sense of etiquette.

I went to a wedding last Summer and three months went by before I received a Thank You. AND THEN, it was a pre-printed card that they had stuck a wallet sized wedding picture in. The caption? "Words cannot express how thankful we are". Well obviously because you couldn't even sign your names in the card!!!

My wedding isn't even in 2015 and already I'm having anxiety attacks! Yes I'd hand write the thank you cards, but it seems like the time crunch to get everything done right away is a bit stressful. Do people include things like this in their wedding budget? I'm afraid after everyone is paid and tipped out, my FH and I are going to be broke! What's the time frame expected? No more than 3 months? 1? 2? 6?

Just as quick check, everyone who attends gets a thank you card right, regardless of if they chose to give a gift or not, right?

Preach Sarah!

Just FYI there were about 65-70 people. I'd give a thank you regardless of gift, I might have more to write in the card though if there's a gift as opposed to just a wedding card.

@Precious, I'm starting to think it may be one of those instances where there are regional/cultural differences in what is considered "acceptable". I wasn't expecting these reactions at all, and almost wasn't going to post because I knew I'd be one of the few willing to voice the unpopular view. I can't remember our family ever receiving a handwritten, personal thank you card after a wedding. The few I remember were "generic". We didn't really think anything of it-- we don't do anything with them anyway and don't really expect them. I agree though, 350-400 people all gave you money at your wedding. How do you write a personal message to each one? Kudos to all of you with large weddings that have done so, though. I think it may be more feasible for like a shower where you got physical gifts; maybe thats just me.

I'm not sure what is worse:

That cold impersonal card

The text thank you I received recently or the thank you I am still waiting for three years later.

@Alexis - I bought plain blank cards from Michael's. All they has on the front was Thank you in silver. They were 9.99 for a box of 50 and I used 50% coupons on each box in separate trips. The end result was a box of 50 for $5. I bought the stamps for them when I bought the rest of my wedding postage so I had that set aside and ready to go.I printed off the address labels through Excel - which was easy (time saver!) and looked very clean (see the pic above

ETA: @Alexis - you have plenty of time (over a year!) - buy a sheet of stamps each payday and a box of thank yous each week after that.

@M&M- it's obviously not a regional thing where I'm from if I expected a hand written note, which are the only kind of thank you notes I've gotten post wedding receptions. If it was customary to receive a generic thank you where I'm from I wouldn't have a problem with it. But it's not so I think it's weird.

I think the photos of the bride and groom saying thank you or holding something up wouldn't be that bad IF they included a thank you card along with it.

@Mr. & Mrs. Chavarin - the one I received wasn't even signed.

@Saradell wow is all i can say

Actually, I think I'd rather receive a generic postcard than not to receive anything at all. Even though they failed horribly, at least they tried...

Probably you should try to get your thank-you's out within 3 months at the latest. 6 months is still better than never. They don't have to be expensive cards, you can even use note paper. To me, it's really the message that's written that matters.

And honestly after not getting a card from my cousin's wedding, I was fairly accepting of the personal text message thank you I got from my coworker (done as they were opening gifts).

@Precious - I think it may even be me you were referring to about being upset about no shows. I had 440 people RSVP that they were coming and then about 70 of those did not attend. I was upset because we still had to pay for the food for all of those people. That was about $1700 in food if you're interested...

I have never heard of personal thank you cards being regional within the U.S. or Canada. It's standard etiquette in these countries that is given ALL the time in various wedding / party planning sources. I truly do not see how certain cities or states are exempt from this basic rule of etiquette. That is absurd.

Alexis - Note cards can be bought at the dollar store. It does not cost much at all to thank your guests for taking the time to choose and spend money on a gift for you. This is something you must do and in the grand scheme of a wedding budget, costs very little. You have 3 months from the wedding.

Bree Cheez - no. Thank you cards are for people who gave gifts or helped during planning or the wedding itself. You thank people for coming in person at the wedding. It is not polite to send a "thank you for coming" note to people who didn't give a gift because it can be seen as a hint for a gift or a reminder that they gave nothing.

We received a thank for you attending note which made us ask the bride about the gift we sent. She had never received it and I had to contact Macy's to figure out the trouble and we got it resolved. I'm glad she sent it or I would have never known she hadn't received the gift I bought her.