The "w" word?

Yeah, I've thought a lot about this. A friend of mine who got married told me she wished she didn't tell her vendors/venue she was having a wedding, just a party, for this reason of prices skyrocketing immediately. We opted to not do this for ourselves because, well, this is fraud lol.

I think there is a higher standard held to weddings, so when you book a fancy venue and order catering and flowers and a DJ, they charge you more because they are also being held to that higher standard. On the one hand, vendors know you want your day to be perfect, so they figure they can charge higher rates. But also, if you're paying them that much money, now you are also holding them to that standard, so now you expect them to be on time, have food taste fresh and delicious, pictures looking amazing, and music being on point. So I guess it kind of goes both ways, it is all business.

Alot of it has to do the demands/expectations of celebrity brides and reality tv. None of those reflect real life at all but it has heavily influenced vendors regardless. On the one hand they say they are scared to death of demanding diva brides, presuming that because one celeb or reality tv actor is a certain way that everyone on the planet shares the same vision when that is not the case at all, they also thrive on the chaos and confusion. The vendors and associated media have brainwashed an entire community into believing that you must have this, this and this for a grand total of 6 figures for a 4 hour total party or your friends and family will disown you and your marriage will not be valid. The wedding industry also wants you to believe that if you stray from the "industry minimum standard" by a single budget item, it is also invalid. It's all about lining their pockets and they don't care about anything else than shaming those who don't buy into the cult.


Vendors claim they are offering a higher level of service but that isn't always. They're charging premium prices and you often get the same level of service as corporate functions. Don't try to come out ahead if you attempt negotiations with them. Say you don't want champagne toasts (no one in your group drinks it and you don't care about toasts) or introductions at the reception because the officiant introduced you 5 minutes prior. According to the wedding industry complex, something as minor as that will have you automatically doomed for divorce before the ink dries on the marriage certificate.
Long story short, find a venue and vendors who don't bully you into exorbitant prices.

I agree with pp I think it’s the expectation behind it. I mean weddings are SUPPOSED to be once in a lifetime right? So then the idea is if this is once then that’s a lot of pressure to get it right.

I’m not sure of the reason but it’s annoying to me. I understand the photography because I guess it’s more “specific” moments to capture but with everything else? I don’t get

A lot of it has to do with the amount of work that goes into them, as well as the fact that there's a lot of pressure, so sometimes the company will spend more time on wedding things than they would on other stuff. Two examples: the dress and the cake. I probably spent like 5x more on my wedding dress than I did on my next most expensive dress, but I know there was a lot more material and effort put into that dress than was put anything of my other clothing. I used make wedding cakes as part of my job. Sometimes the sales person would charge more for certain things than they would've if it weren't for a wedding (I mean like upcharges for certain details or delivery fees, they wouldn't just charge a bride $400 for something that normally cost $300 or anything like that), but in those cases, they would limit the number of other very custom orders that day so I'd have more time to focus on that one or block off a portion of the day for that one delivery to make sure it arrived safely and on time. So they had to charge extra to cover the fact that that one order was getting special treatment.

Most ppl dont have a good outlook on how much sometging should cost for a wedding because they have never shopped for specific items before such as a wedding dress, flower bouquets. We all know $8 for an avocado is too much bc Many of us have purchased avocados before. Also the ONCE IN A LIFETIME mentality bumps things for weddings up in price.

I totally agree it’s insane!!! Put “engagement” or “wedding” and the price gets jacked up... NO THANK YOU!!!! I am a budget bride trying to stay under $5k in SE PA ... i have no problem calling my ring a “promise ring”, and i am using all fake greenery/flowers, i HATE wedding cake ... i cant even do store bought cakes... i am having a friend bake cupcakes for our wedding... she made the cupcakes for another friend’s wedding and they WERE TO DIE FOR!

Luckily my venue doesn't upcharge for weddings (yes, I checked). But many vendors do (eg, photography, catering, floral). Some I understand but others I don't. I have a role in planning corporate events for work, and we are very demanding, much more than I think the average wedding would be.


But it's a numbers game. Think about the average number of guests the couples on this forum have. If you say over 100, then people think you're having this huge wedding, which isn't true. Those same ballrooms being used for weddings have much larger capacity and fit 100s more people for corporate dinners vs wedding reception. So vendors can charge less but make more in the long run. They're also more likely to get repeat business from a company than a couple, so they have incentives to give discounts and freebies. And they have ways to make more money off of corporate guests than wedding guests, like more hotel nights, buying stuff at the gift shop and restaurants, wifi, etc.