The Wedding invitations &the rsvp cards nightmare

Of course it's OK to be annoyed. Your guests should have told you they were moving. Is your RSVP deadline soon? Maybe you can email or text those people and let them know that their new invite is on the way, but give them the option to RSVP to you now if they'd like. So you don't miss your deadlines because of the delay with the addresses.

It looks like your wedding isn’t until the end of October, which means your wedding invitations shouldn’t go out until September.

View Quoted Comment Its june 20th but yes some have came to get them and we did there RSVPS. And the other wedding invitations that came back my fiancee has to ask them if they have gotten the invitations and if so they can tell him and then he can let me know so I can write there names and check them off on our guest list. And thank you this part is annoying lol lol I need a glass of wine 🤣🤣🤣

View Quoted Comment No this is the right time for us because the earlier the better but this also why I put to return by june. Also have other wedding things and life stuff going on at the same time 🤣🤣🤣and this way that the stragglers in june I will put a fire under them. All they have to do is put names yes accept or declined a move on I gave envelope with address and postage stamp to return it.

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This is what save the dates are for. You should be sending out your save the dates at this time, in order to make your guests aware of your wedding date so that they can plan accordingly. then the formal invitation should be sent 6-10 weeks before the wedding. Your RSVP deadline should be 1-2 weeks before your vendors need your final numbers. If you were to send out your invitations now, and require that your guests RSVP over 4 months in advance, you are creating a world of problems for yourself. Guests are going to lose your invitation and forget about your day completely. People who RSVP yes now can have issues pop up down the road that don’t allow them to attend. So the RSVP numbers could change A LOT between now and October, which could mean a lot of money lost if you give your vendors a final headcount, then lose a lot of guests. It will also likely mean a ton of work on your part trying to track people down who have lost your invitation and/or completely forgotten about your date. This far out is just way too soon for many people to be able to commit to attend.
Here are a few articles that may help you to better understand the reasoning behind the invitation etiquette, and how following it actually benefits you in the long run.
https://www.victoriafiaretti.com/2019/08/28/3-reasons-why-mailing-wedding-invitations-early-is-a-mistake/
https://www.theknot.com/content/when-to-send-wedding-invitations

https://ohmydesignsbysteph.com/2020/06/mailing-wedding-invitations-too-early/

https://www.greetingsisland.com/blog/everything-you-need-to-know-about-when-to-send-wedding-invitations/

No your not wrong, I talked with my post office and they said they were slowing the process of mail and some of them came back, but if you want a little laugh the thing that has me upset is I have people sending the rsvp back but no names on it. Lol. So now I have to figure out who rsvp’d. Never a dull moment girl! Especially when it comes to preparing a wedding

Caterers usually need only 1-2 weeks before your event for final numbers. A venue also does not need that much notice to reduce number of tables. If you stayed within the fire marshall's max capacity (pref way under for comfortability), you should be fine.


I would worry more that you are giving your guests way too much time to RSVP. Their lives and calendars may change and may contact you during the stressful months with changes. You may have to go back and forth with some guests. There's always somebody! My mother wanted some of her few friends to get invites and one no-showed for diabetes foot flare up and another had a stroke and couldn't travel. Both are understandable and just 2 examples that life happens to us all. If you really had a good hold on your guest list, all will be OK without stressing your vendors. They are professionals. Don't worry.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Michelle and yes for those have special requirements we are have special arrangements for them.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow Mandi🤣🤣🤣is a hard scratcher that's why for those who did I have everyone's name listed I have been checking off. So hoping I will know or my FH haven't forgotten to write anyone's name down 🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you for that I need to laugh. Thank you for sharing that with me

View Quoted Comment You are so welcome! We have a list to but so many people must’ve been quarantined for so long they forgot to write their names literally contacting everyone right now as I write this to try and figure out this silly mess. And thank god for group chat cause I really didn’t feel like contacting everyone by phone. But now they all understand the assignment lmao 🤣 good luck to you and congratulations! I wish you the best during wedding planning and your beautiful day

View Quoted Comment Awe thank you yes I'm glad that I have a list because if I didn't to would be a mess. So now what we are you is those who haven't received their invites yet or if I get the invitations returned that. I now am asking them I will write the name on the RSVP cards that I have blank and asked them if they coming or not write it down and check them off lol lol. And then just wait for the returned one lol lol good luck to you too.

I'm worried about this! I'm so used to everything being virtual. I'm tempted to write "RSVP by text to MOB at #555-555-5555"

View Quoted Comment I’m glad we have a list to surprisingly though I find it weird that the people who live in my town some have yet to receive an invitation and others out of town and state already got theirs. At least I can laugh about it but it definitely is a lot to do. And now that you said a list I’m thinking I should put their numbers on that list too so that way when it comes time to call them all it will be easier. Thank you so much for talking w me it’s very less stressful when other people are going through it with you. Much love and many blessings to you and your family girl. I wish you all the happiness and love you deserve.

View Quoted Comment Oh yes Mandi I forgot to tell you that yes mines to and some in town received there's too but 2 towns over did not either so I'm waiting for my new envelopes to we send those who's came back

For people who didn’t update their address with me and I ended up getting a returned invitation due to incorrect address, I sent an emailed invite to expedite things. I didn’t want to risk another 3 weeks of delayed mail. We also had online rsvp which helped immensely with reducing mail delay issues and also the issues with people not filling out their cards correctly.

View Quoted Comment Hey H at first I was going to do that but some of our guest have told me that they dont look at there emails all the time. So they wouldn't even check it so that would have been a waste of time. So I go to my RSVP checklist and check off who I have received back and those that I am waiting for. Thank you for sharing your story and comments with me. Back to planning our wedding good night

View Quoted Comment Thats why I put a small number in the corner of each RSVP card and numbered each guest/family in my address list, that way if they dont put names on the card i can look it up by the number

View Quoted Comment Makes sense now. Thank you for your help. And good luck to you too

View Quoted Comment I wish I would have known that. Thank you all I appreciate it.

View Quoted Comment I got the idea because my sister had similar issues.....RSVPs returned with no names on them.