The wedding is postponed, for now...

Myself, forcing myself to believe something that deep down I dont feel right about. I shouldnt make yourself believe marrying FH is right, I should just know. But I dont know anymore.

So yeah we are postponing. We are still staying together, still engaged. I love him enough to stick with him while we work past our problems. & I know he loves me as well. But getting married right now with all this sh*t going on, I think would be like dooming us to possible divorce, & I've been there done that, dont need to do it again.

On one hand I feel so hurt, it's a failed dream, reality hits hard, it's disappointment of torn hopes. I wanted to get married to him so bad, still do. The feeling that in 4 months I wont be a wife, for a while longer I'll still be a fiance...

On another hand, I'm sort of relieved. We can give ourselves a break from stressing over money & really crack down on bills/debt/savings. We can finally once and for all evaluate these issues that are causing pain,

And dealing with them, moving them into the past & making our relationship stronger.

I've been crying since we made this decision, but I feel this is the best decision, & who knows maybe someday we will really afford the wedding we want, cater & all lol, & maybe not being ready for marriage right now will make us SUPER ready for it in time. I dunno. All I know is right now, despite this heartbreak, I love my FH dearly & want things to work no matter how much time it takes.

Dont be too sad for me ladies. Just send me well wishes & lots of strong positive energy. I'll probably still hang out here on the boards, I love it here lol

Good for you for being strong enough to make a tough decision. I admire that. I am sure if you both work hard your relationship will be better for it. Good Luck.

Hope everything works out for you guys, and take the time you need to plan the wedding of your dreams.. every bride deserves a great wedding! Goodluck!!

I'm so proud of you. It's so hard to realize what may be best for ourselves, and even harder to do something about it. Who knows? Maybe in that time you two will work through the trust issues, and your relationship will be so much stronger for it! Maybe something will happen to make finanaces a bit more stable, as well. I'm not sad for you. I'm happy for you! You found a strength & confidence in you!

I'll definitely send positive vibes your way! Seems like we have alot in common somehow...I felt the same way about FH because we've had some serious trust issues (infidelity on his part). So many times I thought to myself If I could really go through this because you HAVE to trust the person you are marrying. You are a strong person for realizing this is right for you to postpone the wedding and focus on your relationship. Planning a wedding while dealing with financial issues and trust issues is super difficult but you can get through it. If the love is there it will conquer all. If you ever need someone to talk to just PM me Everything will work out in time.

It is definitely a good idea to step back and take a look at things and work on issues before committing to marriage. I hope everything works out in the best way possible for you and FH.

You are so very strong to make such a hard decision. It's very brave and I respect you so much for it. Keep working hard because good relationships that last require work from both parties.

Im sorry to hear this. Stay strong & you are making a good decision. I have faith everything will come together for you and your FH.

Courage. The first word that comes to mind when I read your post.

Congratulations on being true to yourself.

Lots of love and positive energy being sent your way!

You have made a very difficult, yet wise decision. It really is true that "things happen for a reason." You listened to that inner voice telling you to hold off. Too many people either do not hear that message or chose to ignore it.

While it hurts now, I truly believe that you will come out the other side with a much stronger relationship.

Best of luck! I hope everything works out for you the way you want it to.

I applaud you both for taking this momentous step. I sincerely hope you are both able to work through the trust issues and that will make you much stronger. Hang in there and keep us posted!

It takes a very mature, wise, courageous woman to make this kind of decision. I think you are making a really good choice for both of you. I'm sorry things didn't work the way you planned however I truly believe if things are meant to be that you and your FH will emerge from this stronger and happier than ever. Best wishes to you!

I think that you are both showing strength and maturity in making this decision (my friend didn't and they are now getting a divorce a year later). It is so smart to deal with the issues now and make sure they can be resolved now. LOTS of positivity being sent your way!

What a great decision. I applaud you. If its meant to be it will happen. My prayers are with you. Good that you will stay on site.

You show amazing strength and knowledge of yourself to make such a well thought-out decision on such an emotional topic. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you both.

Thanks ladies for all your support. It's definitely taking alot of strength to do this, but at the same time I think it would be weak of me to be selfish & keep the date knowing we cant afford it & knowing FH & I have some issues to deal with.

I hurts cuz I really do want to marry him, with all the issues we have, I still believe he is the one for my whole life. But it's just too much junk going on that the fates are saying "marriage is in your future, not your present". Like a few of you said, if it's meant to be it'll happen, but me trying to force it to happen just makes it fade away more.

*sigh* on a lighter side, this makes me happy we didnt send out invites yet, dont have to deal w/the headache of contacting everyone. Tho I put it on FB status short & sweet that we cant afford the wedding. Alot of people dont need to be in our personal problems so all we're telling them is it's money issues, best to keep the drama down-low. Tho I'm sure we'll still get some questions...

So sorry for you pain, but I hope you can take some comfort that you are doing the right thing. I hope everything works out!

I'm impressed with your strength to realize the problems in your relationship and not to take this large step lightly. I'm certain you will be able to accomplish everything and work on your relationship. When the two of you are ready, you'll have a beautiful wedding!