There are no words, but soooo many feelings!

It's definitely a grieving process! As you navigate all these new feelings, just remember you are allowed to feel HOWEVER you want. Do not let other people dictate your feelings/decisions and always remember to do what will be best for you and your future spouse. Also, know you are not alone. There is no set way to deal with this.

Ours Is 10/17 With 60 Guests And We're Moving Forward. Although Things May Not Be Normal, Our Marriage Is The Most Important Part Of It All. We Are Staying Positive.

This is true and beautifully phrased. In the end it comes back to what you and your FH are comfortable with doing.

I can't imagine how that must feel

i know it might not be the ideal wedding you envision, but it will still be beautiful

I agree 100%! I never had birthday parties growing up, my parents were not let in to my HS graduation (genius school couldn't do basic math and oversold tickets), and my dad died right before I finished college. I was looking forward to one event in my life where I go to celebrate something important to me and be surrounded by those I loved, and just a few months before our wedding the pandemic happened and shattered those dreams. We pushed everything back a full year, but I didn't/don't feel confident things will be better. Then mom was diagnosed with cancer just a couple weeks ago so we ended up going forward with a minimony on our original date because I didn't think I could bear losing my other parent before an important life milestone. I am so glad my husband and I are married and we had some very sweet and special moments during our minimony but overall it was stressful and not at all what I should have been. People wore masks and stood at a distance, everything felt so disorganized and rushed, and it didn't feel like a celebration at all. Honestly, I feel really disappointed.

I don't know what to tell you other than the connection between you and your partner is absolutely without a doubt the most important thing. I am so happy we got married, but I would have rather just eloped with my husband, an officiant, and photographer. It felt weird including some people at our minimony and not others, it felt weird having people there but standing at a distance. I personally feel like it was worse having people there I couldn't interact with than it would have to have just not had them there at all and just done our own thing. It felt forced and artificial, and I felt very much like it was me and my husband against the world and not us celebrating with the people we loved because everyone else didn't really feel a part of it because of all of the social distancing measures. My favorite parts of the thing were parts where it was just my husband and I - our first look, our first dance, and photos with our photographer.

This situation is awful and you can try to spin it however you want but the hashtag #loveisnotcanceled doesn't just suddenly make everything better. The fact that you love your partner doesn't make the wedding itself suddenly magical when all of the other parts are stripped away. My husband is amazing and I would choose him over and over and over again to be my partner for the rest of my days. I am glad we got married, but I don't feel like we had a wedding. Every couple is different and needs different things from their wedding experience, and for me a socially distanced wedding is just not enough.

We are still planning to do our wedding and reception with our guests and have postponed a full year, and I am hopeful our redo will be a better experience. If we aren't free to hug and dance and celebrate like we should, we will postpone again. I love that we got married now and would not change that, but I'd like to have fun at my wedding, and when I look back at all of the weddings I've been to I want to remember my own the most fondly, and that won't be possible if I can't see people's faces and hold their hands and hug them tightly and dance with them freely. Right now the day we got married was just a stressful day with some beautiful highlights. But at least we are married, I get to call the man I love my husband, and I feel a lot less stressed about when the wedding and celebration get to happen, because the marriage part is done. So if it takes 2-3 years or more for the pandemic to be under control and normal to be more like what it was and not some "new" version where we are all afraid of one another, then that's how long it will be before our wedding happens. We'll still be married in the meantime.

In your shoes, I would probably hang tight and try to remain hopeful that things will be much improved in October. If they aren't, and you want to be married, you can still do it and have the wedding later, if that feels like the best choice given the awful circumstances. If you feel like masks and social distancing is too much of a compromise for you, it probably will be. All of the "it will be memorable" comments are with the best of intentions but we remember things that make us feel sad, lonely, and disappointed also. Literally no one knows what it feels like to be you right now and no one can make a decision about your wedding but you and your partner. I'm so sorry you are going through this and wish I had better advice.