They want to turn the destination wedding into a family reunion

I think this is pretty common. People think of destination weddings as an excuse for a big family vacation, especially since they’re usually spending a decent amount of money to attend. As long as they’re all in attendance for the wedding itself, does it really matter how they utilize the rest of the time they’re there?

Oh that is very common. I think you should talk to maybe your close family about that but also it is destination wedding but are your FH and you planning to do a honeymoon right after? If so you may want to consider getting a place away from where your family is staying so you two can have some private time.

Very common. I have a feeling mine might turn into that a bit, my FH's family is from out of state and this will be the first time seeing any of them in 2 years. But they are coming in early and we are hosting a get together at a bar that we are having the rehearsal dinner at so they can join us. Hopefully that will help with that as well.

I would just be honest with the family and tell them how you are feeling. Tell them that you want everyone to have a good time, and to keep focus on WHY you are there: YOUR WEDDING! If AFTER the wedding they want to do a “family reunion” by all means go ahead- but NOT before.... I mean interact and have fun, like any wedding, but don’t make it all about not a wedding.


Our wedding is also a destination for 85% of the people and the others, while they live in UPSTATE NY, are not local-local.
FH has about 85-90% of the guest list and I’m worried about this becoming his families show- more like his mother and 22 1/2yo daughters show. And I am NOT the type to be quiet about that, lol!

Mine was sort of like this but it was fine, I don’t feel like anything took away from my wedding

Same here. I have a VERY large family. We decided to do a DW in order to keep it small... joke’s on us! Everyone is excited and is basically making it a family reunion LOL Honestly I don’t mind though- I’m happy to have everyone there and now I won’t feel the need to host/entertain everyone the entire trip!

We rented a creekhouse with the intention of having everyone stay together. Our families are spread out all over the country so we thought it would be cool to get everyone interacting and meeting one another. However, it is for the purpose of a wedding and meeting new family. I am not sure what your plans are but maybe you could have a conversation with your "right hand" family member. See if they could set up a mini event after your wedding, like the next day!! Such as a big family brunch with games or something. That way you get your day and they can do whatever after your day is done. In fact, I say you two would be fine to not even join in because you should be heading towards a honeymoon! I think there is a way to make the work without a total wedding takeover.

Agee with the advice here on asking or encouraging family to have a little get together the day after the wedding. If your extended family is like mine, as time goes by it becomes so rare that everyone gets together anymore. Let them have their fun, it’s better seeing everyone together on a happy occasion than together for a funeral (which is now when people all get together for me 🙁).

My family is spread out all down the east coast, and we see each other at weddings and funerals (and the occasional and rare thanksgiving dinner). They all also have to travel here to Colorado for my wedding. I fully expect they’ll want to get together and just catch up. There will also be a lot of people meeting each other for the first time. My college friends have never met my childhood friends, my family (besides parents) have never met his, my friends and family have never met his friends, and vice versa. My friends and family have never even met him!


It’ll end up being a reunion/get to know you, and I’m ok with that. I haven’t seen my family and friends since I moved away (4 years ago) so I want to take part in the reunion too.

It’s going to happen because people are spending money to travel and spend a weekend away from home. We had the same issue but as long as they all attend the wedding then they can have fun and enjoy the company. I wouldn’t stress about it because your day will be about you and your FH.

This is almost exactly how mine is going to be. We are renting a lodge in mountains and basically only our families are going and very close friends. I’m sure mine will turn into a family reunion also but I don’t mind. I’m actually excited about it being that way.

I feel like, In a way all weddings are family reunions. They all get together to celebrate you and your love. I understand the frustration and worry that they won’t focus on you, but like someone else said they are likely spending a pretty penny and a decent amount of time to go. I don’t know that it’s fair to tell them not to do that.

In my family, weddings and funerals were the major way the whole extended family got together. So I wouldn't be at all surprised for that to happen, even if it weren't a DW. That doesn't mean that your wedding won't be properly honored.