thoughts on donations for a honeymoon instead of gifts

There are plenty of honeymoon registries out there, and depending on where you are honeymooning you could have your guests purchase gift certificates for services there.

My cousin honeymooned in Hawaii and they were registered with a hotel or resort there that you could go online and purchase gifts for them. They could pay for a massage, dinner, or swimming with the dolphins.

@Amy B, here is my take on a gift registry vs asking for honeymoon money.

Gifts that a couple may need = cool. A honeymoon that they cannot afford to spend their own money on = not cool.

If one cannot afford their honeymoon, house down payment, what have you, not something one should ask guests to fund.

You can still get "cash" without asking for it. 2dBride said it best.

Also, should a couple decide to ask for dough in lieu of gifts, and they do not receive a gift from any of their guests, do not get pissy over it. You invite people to a wedding/reception to celebrate with you....not to rake in gifts.

There is a difference between asking for cash and gift registries. Registries are designed to give suggestions to guests in case they want to give you a gift. Asking for cash implies a business transaction. Do you prefer getting a gift for Christmas or birthday from your SO or a check?

Another difference is that your cash strapped friends may end up buying you an inexpensive gift. Perhaps they have a gift card to a particular store, or can use their credit card and pay it next month. But almost nobody is going to give $20 as a wedding gift.

I've been to many weddings when I was in grad school. At that time money was really, really tight. I could always find an inexpensive item on somebody's registry and still get them something they want. I couldn't afford to give them any amount of cash that I thought was worth giving.

Lol Mike, I know you don't sell HM registries but you do book HMs.

Amy I always think you make great points in these threads, I just disagree that it's all the same and I don't think it's just b/c it's a new trend. It's not like I'm old, lol. IMO it's more equivalent to me registering for nothing but super expensive fine china. Obviously nobody is putting a gun to anyone's head and telling them they need to buy me a $350 place setting but it still might make people a little uncomfortable the same way some people get uncomfortable around a cash registry.

Honestly I never even look at someone's registry unless I attend their shower b/c I always give cash. So personally I don't care what someone else registers for - these are just the reasons that I would never have done one myself.

In any case, obviously opinions vary, so just know your crowd.

Kris - I do sell HM's - and I like, I like it a lot :-) I just like to know that couples get to have a good experience for their honeymoon because I really do care. I work with people all the time to advise them even if they cannot afford a honeymoon right now - I just love what I do and I care about the couple. Obviously there are a lot of opinions on this board and I respect each of them.

I think that it also comes down to the couple and their friends and family. Society has different circles and many may find it just fine whereas others think that it is very tacky. Each couple just has to make that decision for themselves - how is their family/circle of friends going to feel about it.

A wedding is not about the gifts, it is about the celebration. My thoughts are that memories are invaluable and do not fade (most of the time). The wedding celebration and the honeymoon should be something that the bride and groom have wonderful memories of for a lifetime.

We are just decorating a Bird cage and putting our Honeymoon fund on it. And if our family members or friends ask before hand we tell them we will have a honey moon fund at the reception if they would like to contribute. I am 42 and he is 39, we have both had our own homes for awhile... and we just combine the 2. So we really are not in need of anything...But some time away.....LOL!

We're super-established, need nothing and didn't ask for money because frankly, it's crass. What did we get? Money. Trust me, most people already know you want money and word of mouth is great without that nasty "cash grab" aftertaste.

FWIW--the registry (for honeymoon or anything else) is a suggestion. These are gifts. And it is up to the guest to decide what they want to give.

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