Thoughts on dress codes

According to your comment I apparently live in Australia 😂 This is exactly why I'm mentioning a dress code. We would have people showing up in the same clothes they wear to a dirt race track otherwise 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ohhhhh ..... ew. Sorry, that is awful. The American slang for that style shirt is called a 'wife beater'. LOL And DEFINTIELY not appropriate for a wedding reception, no matter how casual it is listed as. Thanks for the visual.

I prefer the dress code to be included on the details card so it takes out the guesswork. I don't care for shopping and not every location has the same culture. I understand cocktail attire better than "Sunday's best" because I prefer sweats on Sunday. I have also never been to a barn wedding, brunch wedding, midweek wedding, or theme wedding which are more popular now. While wearing black is fine in NY, it is not so in Chicago. Black tie for an outdoor Santa Barbara wedding is typical, but not my first assumption. So anytime the couple helps me out as a guest, I appreciate this. A sundress may seem easy for others, but for me I will need to plan a purchase.

I also cannot depend on my husband to not lose an invitation or remember the name of a venue for my google sleuthing. However, he'll remember the one thing he looks for (after time of cocktail hour): formality level for tux with bowtie or tux with long tie which he passes off as regular suit. He never needed to own a business suit. I wish women's fashion was as straightforward and I can just choose short dress or long dress without offending someone with color and style.

Never been to a wedding that had a dress code - everyone just kind of knew. We didn't have a dress code but i have had some people reach out and ask me. I told them "cocktail" or "semi formal". I told my friend if he had a nice blazer and a button shirt it's totally cool for him to wear jeans. I've also had people ask me what color we are wearing so as not to clash, I tell them but I also tell them not to fret - they can 100% wear what they want. Even the men in the ceremony (my man of honor, the best man, our dads, and my brother) were told i would prefer they stay in the color palette but ultimately if they are spending a lot on a nice suit i want them to be able to wear it again - as long as it's not like bright yellow or something.

That being said, i have been invited to weddings where the bride wanted us to wear a certain color. For a cousins' the family was asked to all wear blue or gray and we are going to a wedding in April where everyone has to wear black...honestly I'm annoyed. I'll do it, but having a "color" dress code i think is incredibly presumptuous

Technically, you don't tell adults how to dress, according to etiquette. The exception is Black Tie, which is not really a dress code and more a level of expected service for the event.

Most people can tell from the venue how formally to dress. I also find dress codes to be confusing, like what is "business casual" or "garden friendly"?

I mean, business casual to me, is jeans or chinos, a button down shirt, and a non-matching blazer for men. Business casual is always trickier for women, but I'd have a rough idea of what was expected from me from that description and would find it helpful to know what everyone else was wearing.

Garden friendly is pretty obvious to me too, and I'd personally find that useful to know - in my mind it suggests the ceremony is likely to be on grass and that block heels or wedges would be a better choice than stilettos, for example, and/or that if I am the type to burn easily/the event is in summer, that I might find it sensible to wear something a little more covered or consider a hat.

I think you should just post it on your website that cocktail attire is requested, and also link your guest to the venue so they can see how OTHER people dress when attending