Thoughts on having kids attend

This is a decision that's totally up to the couple. We decided not to have children attend, it really came down to space though and the fact that the children in our lives are pretty young (lots of toddlers). There are definitely pros & cons to both Whatever you decide though make sure you stay consistent with it. Best of luck!

This is a personal decision for you to make.

We planned a 160 person grand soiree with lots of food, drinks and dancing and planned on it being child free and even when we downsized to a 39 person sit down dinner we still kept it that way (other than the children who were in our bridal party) and didn't need to communicate it because our guests understood that from the fact that our invitations were addressed to each adult invited.

If you want children there, by all means have them. If you don't want children there other than your own, that is a ok!

Check out this discussion, if you haven’t already, as several brides (myself included) on their experiences with children in attendance.


Anyone have large amount of children at wedding under 7- how did it go? https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/anyone-have-large-amount-of-children-at-wedding-under-7-how-did-it-go/69413032ec9ae5f4.html

I had the same struggle and it was really hard to word it on the invitations with sounding like a grumpy old lady. I used my smaller chapel as an excuse but that just made people ask if they could just bring them to the reception. I eventually just caved in, but they had to ask explicitly. I didn’t just put their kids on the RSVP. If they wanted them on there, they had to talk to me about it.

We decided to only include the children of our wedding party (because multiple happened to have children within months of our wedding, which no one could have planned for 😆), and a child in the immediate family of my FH eh is traveling from out of the counter. Here’s how we worded it on our website!



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Oops! Looks like it didn’t copy over. Here it is:
As much as we love your little ones, due to space reasons, we will only be able to accommodate the smaller children in our wedding party. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask.

It's really how you and your FS envision your wedding. Hold onto that and do not concede under others' pressure (there are stories on WW). To the observer's eye, inviting some people's children over others will cause whispers and resentment at your wedding because not everyone knows who is family or not. You don't need a ring bearer and flower girl either. I think it a bit unfair to include them in a late wedding when there are no other children to play with.

My husband and I had an adults-only reception because our friends and family had 43 children altogether, the majority under 12. Kids meals were also priced at $70 at our venue, so it was an easy cut. Kids like chicken fingers anyway. We had a black tie, 8-piece band vibe.

This is completely personal and depending on your family and relationships with any kids. We are only close to his 2 young cousins (5 and 7) so they are our ring bearer and flower girl. We are not inviting any other kids under the age of 12. If I had my own kids or nieces and nephews they would be involved as well.

Definitely your choice. People choose to have kids at their wedding, to have kid-free weddings, or to only invite certain kids all the time, so it comes down to what makes sense to you and your fiancé. A few things to consider that may help make the decision:

- How much will the extra kids cost? Even if your reception offers a reduced price for kids' meals, they're usually still fairly pricey.

- How mature are the kids who you're considering inviting? If they can sit through the ceremony quietly, not run around the reception and cause concern that they'd knock over the cake, candles, or other potential items that would pose a safety risk, wouldn't be a concern of getting hurt on the dance floor by guests who have been drinking, or otherwise cause a scene, then it's less of an issue.

- Would the people who have kids be understanding that they can't bring them? If they're not the understanding types, could you imagine your day without them if they choose not to attend?

- What kid of a vibe do you see your day having? If it's more upscale or a dance party vibe, kids might not mix with that as well as they would with a more family-oriented vibe.

Above all, make sure that whatever you decide, you stick with it. Picking and choosing who gets to skirt the rules can (and usually does) lead to hurt feelings.

Everybody talks about what is right or wrong or correct or incorrect etiquette; there is no answer except what is right for you. We have friends with kids, we love seeing them, but we decided ultimately that we wanted our adult guests to be able to relax and enjoy our celebration. We put “adult only reception” on our invite, specifically so there was no questioning the decision. There should be no hard feelings with your guests because it’s your day and it’s what you both want; if your guests put up a fight about it, they don’t care about making it about you.

We are having our wedding in December and are making it Christmas themed with a Santa during cocktail hour for the kiddos because there are so many little ones in our family. We knew that we didnt want a super elegant affair and the reception will be over by 10:30. But if I had wanted to party hard or have a higher level of elegance I probably would have kept it kid free.

We have 27 kids attending… My fiancé is 1 of 7 and my youngest daughter is grandchild #12. The other kids coming are all family members kids and honestly we don’t mind .. our reception is in a barn and below the barn is a bedroom where the kids can play and do stuff like games or watch TV when they get bored or tired ! We have the venue for Friday night and Saturday night since it’s a B&B.

Don’t feel pressured to go one way or the other. At the end of the day it is YOUR wedding ✨. Most people don’t understand the financial obligations of a wedding until they have one of their own. So I say go with your gut! My fiancé and are are only having the children who are a part of our wedding be there. 🙂

It's definitely a personal choice! My FH and I are very close with our families. His family are all traveling across the country and his cousins have about 10 kids between the ages of 2-11 that are all invited! We've been to multiple family weddings with them (even one in Cancun!), so we know what to expect. We are also having our flower girl (friends' 1 year old), ring bearer (friends' 7 year old), and my younger cousins who are 11, 12, and 13.


We also put on our website in a polite way that it's invite only, including children.

I know that's a lot of info, but wanted to give a different perspective as opposed to the "no kids" thing that usually happens!

This is a personal choice. For us, we're inviting kids because nearly everyone on our guest list has to travel for the wedding and we don't want someone to not come because they can't find childcare while they travel. We're putting it in the parents hands to do what works best for their family. Some of our friends have said thanks for inviting me kids, but weddings are adult time for us to relax and unwind. Others are appreciate the option as they make their plans

View Quoted Comment Whoa that sounds like fun!!!!

I personally will not have kids attend neither the ceremony or reception. In my opinion weddings are a good place for the parents to have a good time. Kids most of the time (depending on age) don't seem to have fun anyways. I would say have your own kids and let that be it. It's your wedding. So It makes sense to have them. I was going to let a few kids come but then made the final decision to have no kids at all. It's hard to say some can bring kids but others can't so it's easier to just say none. Or you could set an age limit.

Totally up to you. But, it is becoming more normal to not have children attend weddings! Best of luck on your special day!

Definitely your choice (you and fiancé). But if you’re inviting kids just because you don’t want to feel bad…then you really need to look all aspects. The mood, vibe, the budget is a big one, and the timeline of your wedding.

We are not inviting kids to our wedding and I knew from day 1 that would be the case. I have three kids coming to my wedding and they are my nieces who are IN the wedding. My sister whose kids they are arranged for her in-laws to come pick up my nieces after they get some food so my sister and brother-in-law can have fun and not leave early to get them to bed. My venue does have it in their contract that for every five children at the wedding we have to hire a professional sitter. So that made me really firm in my choice to have no kids. When guests have asked if their children can come I told them if we invited everyone with their children, we simply could not accommodate enough sitters as required by the venue.

View Quoted Comment Thank you everyone for your thoughts! 💙