Thoughts on Paper vs Digital Stds/rsvps

It’s an unpopular opinion online but in our families and social circles, save the dates are part of a phone call or in person conversation without any postcard or website, that is done between 6-12 months ahead. The intended guests get all the necessary information before the invitation arrives no earlier than 6-8 weeks which is the traditional standard that has worked for generations. The method has been the same for generations with no issues at all.


As far as paper, the cheapest that we found was annsbridalbargains.com which has full sets that our guests are used to. They still come out cheaper than the individual pieces sold by Zazzle, etc that don’t have the same customization options. We loved the design choices at Zazzle but font selection was narrow and envelopes were charged separately as was every other insert we needed, because companies want to push wedding websites instead of insert cards. We ended up going with a local independent print shop and they still came out less expensive than Zazzle, Minted, etc for a traditional full set but in a design and fonts that we liked. We could have easily bought a template on Etsy and DIY’ed at home but neither of us have the patience to learn Photoshop and similar programs needed for graphic design. What many people don’t understand or care about DIY and insist otherwise is that your time and sanity are also counted per hour at minimum wage in addition to the cost of supplies that makes DIY not economical for many people. It’s cheaper for them to rent physical items and buy services from professionals.

Also to add, in our families and social circles, there is a mix of tech savvy, non tech savvy, elderly, younger and we decided to not go the digital route. We have had a couple friends who used a website for their weddings and said to not spend time because no one read it, even for Rsvps. It doesn’t save anyone time if you have to explain how the site works. Contrary to popular opinion, not everyone knows how to or uses QR codes. Even the people who work in tech didn’t use anything digital in their own invitations. It’s a personal preference.

There’s nothing inappropriate about individual word of mouth STDs. In fact STDs themselves were once seen as overly competitive with those sending invitations according to a more traditional timeline. Today, they are just a convenience and a heads up but totally optional.


Likewise there’s nothing whatsoever wrong with hand delivering your invitations. Digital STDs and invitations are more compatible with a casual reception. Since you are hoping people will dress for a traditional wedding, which is, in fact the default, I’d go with the hand delivery option, which happens to be very old school traditional.
Printed menus are unnecessary and I wouldn’t include it on your website either, other than perhaps referencing that this will be a cocktail party reception.