Thoughts on this - underage drinking at a wedding

@ Ms. L - it's the parents that brought it to attention. Even though IMO they were at the wedding and should have been watching their son. I agree with EDubbs - parents cannot consent.

However, legally it comes down to the people who hold the liquor license. Based on the reports I've seen, the complaints from the parents honestly sound like they're trying to pass blame instead of taking blame themselves. As a mom, even on my wedding day, with my brain completely out of touch with the world, I still went up to the bartender and pointed out the older kids who were underage.

Yeah. in Broward County, FL, you are legally required to have police presence in an event over 100 people, so on top of the contract i signed.. i think i'll be alright with the underage drinking

I went to my cousin's wedding last weekend in TN and the bartender there was carding everyone, even the bridal party. I guess he was doing it for his safety bc he is an actual bartender at a local bar down there. I'm not really sure how I feel on underage drinking at a wedding tho. I guess I have no argument

I am for carding - in case i never stated my point

I thnk it is both. The venue has to card because it is their liquor license. It is against the law for the venue to give alcohol to a minor regardless of the parent is present or not. At the same time, I do agree that the parents should be liable for not being responsible enough to make sure they don't drink, but that is my opinion.

I went to the wedding last year where bartenders were checking ID, I was ok with that. But 18-20 year old that were there were drinking anyways - asking their older cousins to get them drinks from the bar.

Our wedding will be in Europe where drinking age is 18 so luckily I don't have to worry about this (I will not have any teenager guests).

In my opinion it's the parents responsibility and decision. Yes it is the law but... shrug... I also think the drinking age should be lowered...I'm not looking to get into a big discussion on the subject it's just my opinion. If the parents feels their child is old enough and responsible enough then I'm ok with it.

Omg the parents are totally trying to pass blame, how pathetic. As if their child would have never drank alcohol if it weren't for that irresponsible bartender, ha!

I don't know, personally I think the whole "alcohol is so taboo" thing in our culture makes it even more appealing to minors but thats not a legal point.

Agree w/ mellojean, as usual. If it's the law, that venue may let a few events slip by and not have any problems... but one day something bad will happen and they'll get their pants sued off.

If the parents want to help the kids get around the carding situation, I don't think the venue would notice ultimately. But, the venue who cards knows it served adults only.

Depends on the state. In WI, 18+ can drink if there parents are with them and consent to it. Wisconsin is weird.

It is the venue's responsibility if they are supplying the alcohol because they hold the liqour license. At our wedding we are not using a liquor supplier and are doing our own or BYOB. So any alcohol we serve is our responsiblity. We are hiring bartenders we trust to make sure no underagers drink, but luckily we don't really have any that will. But if they did, it would be our responsibility because we are supplying the liquor.

In Colorado its up to the parents if its a private party or venue, as long as the kids is over 12. I think it should be up to the parents anyway. You are the one raising your kids and if ou should them how to be responible early in life then they are more likely to make good choices as the get older. My grandparents let me drink when I was in my teens and I have never had an out of controll drinking binge.

The parents are definitely trying to pass the blame. Whatever happened to personal accountability?

Hmm honestly if I had an 18 year old I would hope that at a wedding venue they would card; actually I'd probably find out ahead of time..it is just unrealistic to keep your eyes glued to your 18 year old for every minute..i guess we can get into all raising them, but that's not the point here..I would hope that the venue would not be serving as a parent..but if the child got the drink from a table or some other guest, well I think it's hard to hold the venue responsible for that...Fins I wonder, do the parents know for a fact that the bartender was serving, and the child didnt just blame the bartender..also is the venue still legally responsible if someone else (guest) gives minor a drink?

100% The Parents.

It is the parents job to make sure their toddler doesn't grab a candle and catch the place on fire. It is their job to make sure their six year old doesn't go sliding down the banister. It is their job to make sure their sixteen year old isn't sneaking drinks.

In Texas it is legal for a parent to buy and hand the minor a drink as long as they are over 16 and they stay with them.

Totally agree that the parents are trying to pass the blame on this one. the underage kid could've taken the drink off of someone table or had it given to them by another family member.

I believe it is the responsibility of everyone. Parents, if in attendance, or other individuals should pay attention to those underage who may try to get alcoholic beverages. Bartenders should also card those who look too young or nervous when asking for drinks. The party planners could also provide bar tenders with pics/names of those who are underage and should not be served.

My fiancee's brother unfortunately is an acoholic, luckily we know he will control himself for our wedding but in the past he has set a poor example for his kids and so has my FFIL. I have found a 12 year old in my home with his 2 friends puking on my carpet because "Pops" let them have a "few". They are good kids and will be the ushers in my wedding. They are older now, 16 and will be 18 but they are not adults or anywhere near the maturity level to handle it and I will not have that kind of embarrassment or affiliation at my wedding which I did explain to My FFIL and his brother already knows. Luckily the venue I am looking to get makes it mandatory to use their certified bartenders. Which is good because I don't have to hear the guilt of them not serving minors. It is just NO because these bartenders will not only not serve minors but if you don't have an ID- no drink. Which I will have to include info on the invitation, but my FBIL doesn't have an ID- thankfully no drinks for him

Ummm…. they should still card. That's the law, I don't care if it's a private event. She deserves to have the liquor license revoked because of it. The venue I worked at always carded, and monitored tables with wine to make sure that minors weren't sneaking any. It's way to important not to take seriously. If the Friday event results in a loss of the license then the Saturday wedding is screwed.

Well, at my wedding I will be 22, and almost all of my friends will be 21 (I was held back a grade in kindergarten...) Except for one of my friends, who just has a late birthday.

My wedding is in August.... she'll turn 21 in September. I honestly don't think it's a big deal. Her mom will be there, and she's not one of those parents who let their kids drink, but I reallllly think she'll be fine with her drinking a little bit at a wedding with mature adults around a month before she's at the legal age to.

I don't think it's really the staff's job to verify age, when you know most of the attendants will be of age.... except for obviously anyone who is clearly way under the age. If they did card her, I might be a little annoyed even, but it would be pointless because somebody else would just get some and give it to her, I'm sure.

I'd probably give her some! OK, I don't advocate underage drinking, but come on, it's a month! She is responsible, and nothing bad would happen.

Miya - no its like they are blaming the pushers for kids doing something thier paretns aren't aware off. Your mcdonalds senerio assumes the parents are feeding them and then blaming mcdonalds.

In MA it is illegal and the establishment is responsible legally and seeing they are the ones serving they have the responsibility.

As for the comment about parents allowing it, what about people who get married at 18? should thier parents always be invited to things they go to so they can "allow" thier adult child to drink? NO the establishment should have the discretion and authority to card and prohibit alcohol. As I said in MA a liquor lisence is issued to the establishment, not the host or the family, thus it is thier liability and responsibility. And even if you just hire a bar tender to come to your house for an event, that bartender is now liable for who they serve.