Thoughts on this - underage drinking at a wedding

Ab Z - I've dated a few of those cereal-eating couch-dwellers! I think there's a difference between "cosmetic adulthood" which are things like padded bras and smoking, and "actual adulthood" which is paying your own way and acting responsibly. As a culture, we encourage the former and discourage the latter.

And, BTW, Abercrombie does something outrageous every few years for the press. Let's see, padded bras, kiddie thongs, racist T-shirts...yup.

I vote we decriminalize marijuana, btw. If someone can make a case for heroin, cocaine, etc, I'd love to hear it, because it would take a pretty good argument. (Hey, I've seen Trainspotting - twice! - that makes me an EXPERT on heroin.)

@Teresa, it's not irresponsible for a parent to care that her child not drink and drive. My mom was very adamant that I was not allowed to drink so I snuck, I drank at friend's houses and I got in vehicles with people I absolutely could have been killed riding with. In short, I was an idiot. I was 18 and I thought that since I could legally smoke, buy lotto tickets, and die for my country should I choose to do so, it made no sense to me that I couldn't also choose to drink. IMHO, the legal drinking age is a very irresponsible law. 18 year olds WILL drink, and nothing you or anyone else says will stop that, but as with anything, sneaking around makes it much more dangerous. At 18, a few months after high school graduation I was charged with underage consumption and had to go to court, take a 6 week alcoholism course, and pay $700 worth of fines as well as be on self monitored probation for the next 3 years. Personally, I wish my mom had taught me the difference between responsible and

Irresponsible drinking. I'm not saying that every 18-year-old is as dumb as I was, but a lot of them are and it's unrealistic to believe they aren't going to drink. I'm not codoning breaking the law, just saying that this particular law is bogus. Not only that, but it is COMPLETELY legal in some states for parents to allow their own kids to drink.

Also, I am completely thankful that the fine and class were my alternative to being killed in a car accident for my stupidity. I was LUCKY but not everyone can say the same.

@Victoria....Again, I couldn't agree with you more. Imho, responsible parenting creates open dialogue with your kids on the subject.

@Susy....I couldn't agree more.

For the record, as much as I joke about drinking, I do not have a drink every day. I drink when we go out dancing. I am not holier than thou. I simply don't really care for drinking and watching t.v. It's not my thing.

@ Fins sorry my post took over your thread

@ Carole to answer your question with regards to enlisted persons..... apparently it all depends are where the base is located :

In the "old days" anyone on active duty could consume alcohol on military installations, regardless of the legal drinking age off-base. However, in the mid-80s, advocacy groups, such as MADD (Mothers Against Drunken Drivers) lobbied Congress to change this. Federal law (United States Code, Title 10, Section 2683) requires military installation commanders to adopt the same drinking age as the state the military base is located in. The only exception to this rule is if the base is located within 50 miles of Canada or Mexico, or a state with a lower drinking age, the installation commander may adopt the lower drinking age for military personnel on base.

@Victoria.....Thank you, and that totally sucks!

So, they need to register for the draft, however, if the draft were reinstated, they couldn't have a pint...that's bullshart!

I will echo Victoria...sorry for the high jack. This is an issue I feel quite strongly about.

I don't mind if we get off topic - I've been reading this and trying to formulate my thoughts.

Ab Z - I agree that kids grow up way too fast but on the flip side, mentally they are growing up a lot slower and I blame it on the fact that we are not giving our children the opportunity to 'problem solve'. It's a very important skill to be able to reason and figure out solutions and that is sadly lacking in our young kids these days.

Also, when I was growing up there was no drug and alcohol awareness education. Nowadays it's as common as Mcgruff the crime dog & smoky the bear was to us. I'm not going to give my daughter free license to drink underage but I'm not dumb so I will do my best to educate her and help her make responsible decisions. I had my first drink at a young age on a dare from my evil Irish Twin brother. I also put a helmet on and let him throw me down the stairs. We both grew up to get advanced educations and had parents that let us test our boundaries.

Ya, I agree with the need to de-sensationalize alcohol use..too many don't know how to drink responsibly and end up in alcohol related car wrecks :-( Unfortunately they learn drinking from friends who just try to get as trashed as possible to look cool.

@Shanon, the books these studies are based on alcoholic effects on humans. Never seen a rat drive a car, lol. I too agree that the age limit should be higher for youths entering the military. However, the government I'm sure has their reasons for not doing so. I seriously doubt it has anything to do with maturation.

@Ab Z, they are not my reasons, they are reasons discussed in college Child Development courses, based on studies done by countless neurological scientist, as well as psychologist.

@Susy, the difference lies in the different cultures. You can put up numbers against our culture, vs. European cultures in just about any category and the numbers will differ drastically. As far as breaking "minor" laws, it's as simple as this, parents are their children's first teachers. The rules we set for are children in our homes should be respected just like those set by our states and countries.

@Victoria, I’m not judging your decisions, obviously you know your child better than any of us. If it works for you, so be it, Your rationalization of the situation is yours to deal with. I have a 14 year, and unless my frame of thought changes in the next few years, she won’t be having any drinks with me; but that is my decision to make.

Excuse the typos ladies, I'm trying to reply to everyone before I have to head out for a meeting. no time for proof reading.

@Susy: It all boils down to the same idea - personal choices/decisions. A parent doesn't have to bring their kid to McD. They can *choose* to feed them something else or choose to teach them better eating, better decision making, etc. The McDonald's scenario was there to show parents' lack of personal accountability.

@Jacklyn, sorry I missed your comment. "it's not irresponsible for a parent to care that her child not drink and drive." I'm not understanding exactly what you mean by that. And not every 18 year old drinks, I didn't have my first drink until I was 23. I was heavily into sports and it just didn't intrigue me. A lot of athletic teenagers don't partake in underage drinking. A lot of religous teenagers don't partake in under age drinking. The laws you broke were set in place for your protection, as you said, you had to pay the consequences for those decisions.

@Teresa 100% correct your decision to make without having to justify it to anyone as I felt it was mine but apparently you felt I needed to jusfiy it... so if you follow every law ever written by man .. more power to you.. and I will pray that you will never get the call that your daughter was in an alcohol related accident because whether you like it or not at some point in her young life she will pick up a beer, no law will stop it, I did it, my parents did it and I'm pretty sure at one point you did it. With regards to your studies... I have a great job that has allowed me to support my family 100% on my own so obviously those drinks did not effect me as your studies might suggest but then again my grandmother smoking 2 packs a day thru her 5 pregnancies didn't harm my mother or her brothers either... I think they have too many studies ... Personal opinion

Well, being a buisnees you should probably card if you think they might be underage just to cover your own asses leagaly. Personaly I think that at a wedding if the parents say they can have a drink then it whould be acceptable. And in some states that is the law if they are 16 and with their parents then they can drink to a certain limit. Not every state is this way however. No one once to card people at a wedding, but it could cost you your liqure licence, and thats worse.

Besides that if clients and/or their families have an issue just tell them that you can only give the alcohol to someone over age, and what they do with it after that is not your issue.

@Fins LMFAO "I also put a helmet on and let him throw me down the stairs."

@Teresa. ya i know, I was backing you up, I'm aware of the research :-)

@Fins, forgot to add also an LMFAO to the helmet thing!!

That visual is too good

What Meghan Said... having been TABC certified (many many moons ago). I could have been thrown in jail for serving that minor.

I think the most important parenting point is to educate kids that alcohol is a drug. Period. It just happens to be legal. Just because it is legal doesn't mean that it is okay to use. And if you do use it, you need to be very careful and responsible. Juat like any drug it can become addicting and have severe consequences. Too many kids think that because alcohol is legal and/or their parents drink that it is A Okay for them to do it too.

@Victoria, sorry sweetie, Unless you're telling me that you're psychic, you have no idea what my daughter will do. As far as she is concereed, she will and already has had open and honest discussions with myself, as well as her father regarding the situations she may one day face in her adolescence. You're right, I did eventually pick up a drink, at age 23, for me it was my decision to wait. I could very well get a call one day saying my daughter was involved in an alcoholic related accident, just like I could possibly learn that the person responsible was a teenage driver, driving under the influence of alcohol. I don't see why you're getting touchy, you knew your comment would spark discussion, you said it yourself. No need to get upset. I'm not judging your decisons, I'm stating my opnion. The need to get defensive is really not neccessary. This is a grown up conversation.... Anyway, I would love to continue when I get home from work, as for now....gotta go!

@Fins, sorry