Thoughts on underage drinking at a wedding

Regardless of how you feel about it personally, underage drinking is illegal, so whoever is supplying the alcohol is legally responsible/liable. That's why most venues require a licensed bartender, then they (either as an agent of the venue or as an independent contractor) carry the liability insurance and are responsible for "carding" anyone whose age might be questionable. It sounds like your venue does not require a licensed bartender? If that's the case, you might want to consider hiring one anyway, and I'd be sure your wedding is covered by event/liability insurance. As the bride, no, it shouldn't be your job to have to police underage drinking at your wedding, but if something happens, without the required safeguards, you and FH could be on the hook legally and financially. Daughter's wedding was at an all inclusive venue that included the alcohol and bartending services. Were my two underage nieces (in full view of their parents) walking around with glasses of wine? Hypothetically, yes.... (Or, maybe is was soda in a wine glass????) However, that was the bartenders responsibility, not ours.

I really don't think this is your responsibility. A licensed bartender would be responsible for preventing anyone underage to drink

Then I'd push back. Depending on your location, I think in most states bartenders have to be licensed and part of their licensing requirements is that THEY are responsible for those they serve alcohol to. If there is some odd circumstance where you are truly going to be the ones liable, then I'd give your underage guests' parents a heads up that their kids are not to be drinking alcohol.

Because they'd only been to cash bar weddings ( ), some of SIL's friends were planning to bring flasks to daughter and SIL's wedding. I told him we were paying for a premium open bar, and bringing in alcohol could potentially get the wedding shut down. Daughter put him in charge to making sure his friends knew they were NOT to bring any alcohol to the wedding venue.... All was good! Heavy sigh....

Hard pass. That is their job. I am as free and easy as the next bride but I can not get behind underage drinking and would not have a reception at a venue that left it to me to police. Have your licensed bartenders take care of this task. It is illegal.

Checking IDs is the job of the bartender, not the hosts. I also would be wary about openly approving underage drinking. God forbid something happen (such as a car accident, an injury related to drinking, alcohol poisoning, etc) and it comes back that you permitted and provided alcohol to someone underage, you could be caught up in lawsuits. I heard of this happening, and it's an awful way to start a marriage. I'm not saying underage drinking doesn't happen or that I would even care about it, just be careful about promoting it. It's up to the bartenders to check ages and you need to be very clear about that to your venue.