Timeline for dinner after heavy cocktail hour

I'm in NJ, where elaborate cocktail hours with extensive passed hors d'oeuvres, stations, and the like is the norm. We had a 3 course plated meal as well, and the appetizer plate was already at their seats wjen they sat down. We did the bridal party entrances and then went right into our 1st dance. From there, we had a brief break to let people eat, and then the toasts were down during the salad course. The parent dances were done towards the end of the entree as a way to open up the dance floor.

After a heavy cocktail hour, I would imagine that many (not all) of the guests will be full and will not touch the plated dinner. So you will have wasted food that won’t get donated or sent home.


You can do pretty much all festivities while guests are eating or seated at tables. There is no standard for when toasts are done because everyone does them at different times. Same with first dance. When are you greeting guests? Are you having a line at the end of the ceremony, dismissing the rows goes very quickly and is a blink compared to table visits that take up an hour or more and only half of the guests are reached? Are you greeting them by mingling during the cocktail hour? It’s more personal when you thank guests individually rather than a group. If you get everything done before dinner is over, then they can go straight into dancing. Alot of couples are shy and don’t necessarily want eyes on them for the first dance so having that during dinner (because many say the couple barely eats anything except cocktail hour food) takes that attention away if you don’t want it. There is no right or wrong. Do what works for you. Talk to your dj and day of coordinator to see what they are familiar with as a timeline.

I wouldn’t push dinner back. I often find it impossible to eat, hold a cocktail and a conversation at once and often barely eat during that time. Even with heavy apps, drinking plus a long day will have people plenty hungry for dinner.