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Devoted October 2022

Tipping

Jennifer, on September 29, 2022 at 12:19 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 11

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First off, I can’t believe it’s less than 3 weeks away. I’m getting down to the last minute items “To-Do” and tipping vendors is one of them. I’ve been referencing this article as a guideline on who to tip and how much: https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet

Do the below make sense?

1. Wedding Planner: If she did a good job, send a “Thank-You” with 15% after our mini-moon in November. How about her assistant?

2. Hairstylist/Makeup Artists: 20% of total cost divided by the number of artists. Tipped at the end of service.

3. Wedding Delivery and Setup Staff: $5-10, but this one is weird because they aren’t just delivery persons. They either own the business (in the case of the baker) or they work as one of the florists (in the case of the florist). The florist is also helping in the setup. Any suggestion for this? According to the article, it says to send a “Thank-You” card with the tip the day after if you are going to tip (like maybe $50) but it’s not expected.

4. Officiant: $100 Donation. Never even really met the guy and the chapel was kind of expensive (but really pretty!) so I don’t feel bad not making a bigger donation here. Also, the owner is the officiant so I should just be able to make a donation, right? I’ll probably donate the day after online.

5. Ceremony Harpist: $20. Have DOC give at end of ceremony.

6. Wedding Photographer & Videographer: So, this one is weird. Both photographers are husband and wife and own the studio so according to the article, tip is not expected. But, the videographer is someone they’ve hired and regularly work with. Should I give just the videographer $50 or give $50 to each of them? Have DOC give tip at end of reception.

7. Reception Staff: According to the article, if a service charge is included, I do not need to tip here. There’s a 20% service charge, so I shouldn’t have to, right? If anything, I'll probably send a small gift to the on-site wedding coordinator, who I have been working with this whole time answering all my ridiculously detailed questions.

8. Bartenders & Waitstaff: Again, there’s already a 20% catering service fee plus the $5 per guest service fee for the bartenders so I don’t think I need to tip beyond that, right?

9. DJ: $100. Have DOC give tip at end of reception.

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on October 3, 2022 at 11:40 PM

Champion December 2022
Michelle · on September 29, 2022 at 12:54 AM
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You haven’t already, use the search feature to locate various topics. It’s the magnifying glass at the top right of the page.

Unpopular opinion but due to countless horror stories of vendors not pulling their weight on the wedding day and being given huge tips regardless because that is what couples are pressured to do by the wedding industry, it’s strongly recommended to not tip anyone on the wedding day. Because you don’t know what is happening behind the scenes and that is intentionally kept from you so that you don’t stress. And tips are really only intended as a thank you to those who went above and beyond the call of duty. They should not be given like water for bad service, no shows or simply showing up to do their job, but unfortunately that is the standard that people are told never to deviate from under any circumstances. Wait until a week or so after the wedding when you have a clear mindset and can assess everything with new spouse objectively (along with input from family/friends on their observations) at that point as far as their quality of performance. That is when you send tips and write honest reviews on Yelp and Google that do not remove them at the vendor’s request if they are not glowing 5 stars.
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Devoted October 2022
Jennifer · on September 29, 2022 at 1:03 AM
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Wow! Thank you! That makes sense. With that in mind, I think the only one that does make sense to tip is the hair stylist/make up artist (and maybe the DJ and ceremony musician?) since they are the only ones whose work I can observe. I probably need to see the photographer and videographers works before I can even say they’re good.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on September 29, 2022 at 1:25 AM
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Hold off on all tips until after your honeymoon. None of the vendors are not relocating so that you would need to tip earlier than that.
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Super July 2022
Shannon · on September 29, 2022 at 7:27 AM
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Agree with Michelle to wait to top. Especially do not tip the Photographer and Videographer. There are tons of instances on here where brides have tipped photographers an are waiting months for photos.
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Rockstar July 2022
Lisa Online · on September 29, 2022 at 7:52 AM
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For the bartenders and reception staff, keep in mind that a service charge is not always the same as gratuity. Double check with the venue on what specifically this charge goes toward, but in many cases, it's not a tip for the staff.
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Jm Sunshine · on September 29, 2022 at 10:04 AM
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I agree, a service fee is not a gratuity. It is for setting up, cleaning up, washing glasses, utensils, plates, etc.
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Devoted October 2022
Jennifer · on October 1, 2022 at 2:22 PM
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I asked the caterers and got this. This sounds like their wages and tips to me.
“ The service charge is mainly to pay our staff. They receive an hourly wage. If you want to tip in addition to that, it is greatly appreciated, but not required.
The $5 charge for multiple entrees goes tot he kitchen for the additional labor.”
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Jm Sunshine · on October 1, 2022 at 5:18 PM
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The service fee goes toward paying their hourly wages. It does not include tip but "it is greatly appreciated" if you do so (just as a tip is not required in a restaurant, it is a customary practice and appreciated).
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Devoted October 2022
Jennifer · on October 3, 2022 at 11:15 PM
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How do you get a hold of the waitstaff and bartenders to tip weeks after the event? I could give it to the hotel event planner, but I’d have to trust that it goes to the right people. Totally agree with photographers/videographer. I’d want to see what those look like before tipping.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on October 3, 2022 at 11:28 PM
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You wire the funds to the business or take the top in person and let them know it for x date. If you have a group of 10 waiters and only 7 went above and beyond, why tip the other 3 for not doing what they were supposed to?
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Devoted October 2022
Jennifer · on October 3, 2022 at 11:40 PM
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Exactly my point… how do I know which individual waiters to give it to? I wouldn’t know their names. I wouldn’t even know which tables they waited. Or if their service was good to the guests.
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