Tips and lessons from married ladies?

I always tell people now that the best thing I learned was keeping things simple is the way to go. When I was planning my wedding I always felt like everything was in the details or the more the merrier. All that did was use it more of my time and effort and money. A lot of brides think that because you’re doing things such as adding these little details that it’s nice for the guests but in reality they might not even notice it or appreciate it the way you would hope. I Realize that in the end everyone is there for you so literally if the only thing there was was just a really simple dinner and nothing else they would be totally fine with that. There were so many little details and stuff that I added to my wedding and I honestly think no one really appreciated it the way that I wanted. So in the end I think what I should have done was keep things even more simple

I didn’t realize what a big day it was for my parents too. I have never seen my dad so happy in my whole life! This is a party for them too, so adding a couple of guests or touches for them is nice.
Also, just do what your vendors say, lol, mainly the photographer. You spend lots of money for their expertise, trust it and don’t turn down their ideas.
It rained (poured) all morning my wedding day. When the ceremony started it stopped so it was sunny during pictures. They wanted to do an umbrella shot but I told them no cause it wasn’t raining 🙄I also got mad they didn’t notice I took my veil off cause it got soaked (the ground was still wet) so we didn’t get any cool veil shots. Then I was upset we didn’t get a variety of poses/shots. So don’t say no!

I absolutely agree with keeping things simple. And I think the importance of that concept has only been highlighted by all of the COVID mess. Before making any decisions, really, deeply, and honestly discuss with your future spouse (FS) what you each consider dealbreakers and what you don't care about. Then spend time and money on the important things and forget about the rest (no matter what other opinions you get).

Other ways to simplify: Only invite who you and your FS REALLY want there. Just say no to the obligation invitations that family members encourage. Skip save the dates (since the date and your guest list might change!), don't get anything engraved (glasses, cake servers, etc.). Don't lean too hard into decorating for a particular season (what if the season changes?). Keep your expectations for others' involvement/excitement/assistance to a minimum. Far fewer hurt feelings that way, and it's easier not having to try to please everyone else anyway. Keep bridal parties small and meaningful. Just say no to obligation bridal party members.

The keeping it simple and not stressing over the little things is my best advice. Nobody cares about all of the things you think are important. People want good food, music and to have fun. All the money spent on centerpieces, signs, etc typically goes unnoticed by most other than soon to be brides.

I agree with keep it simple. Personally stay budget friendly. Because at the end of the day you two are getting married, while the "wedding " is a celebration for everyone. The food, booze, cake, party favors. And keep wedding party small; we originally had 5 on each side and it was very stressful and full of drama. UtilizeAmazon, dollar tree, and Walmart. My sandals were from boscovs $30! Super comfy. Make sure you're happy on your big day

Not my thread but wow was this helpful! Thank you for your advice ladies!

Omg try your shoes for an extended period of time. I was ready to burn mine after the ceremony, but people were just demanding our attention immediately. It was exhausting lol. Get your morning of bag packed a few days in advance and add things as you think of it - you will forget things. Also make sure you get your photo list locked down with your photographer. Ours just kind of went with whatever after our ceremony, and it was nowhere near the variety I wanted! Also, try to enjoy the day! It's about you guys at the end, and you should actually enjoy some of it. It goes so fast and will definitely fly by

Get enough rest! Your wedding day will be busy, try to not be in charge of anything. You don’t want to look tired in your photos which is what happened to me. For our micro wedding, I did my own hair and makeup and also did not eat a good breakfast or lunch. It really showed in the photos. At the end of the night I was so tired and we didn’t even have a reception, we only went out to dinner.

Do not go outside without wearing sunscreen in the days leading up to your ceremony. Especially the day before.


If you have something you’re self conscious about, ask your photographer how to minimize it. You may get a good tip about how to pose or they may just be aware of one of your insecurities and watch out for them in photos. One of my favorite photos I have a horrid double chin and wish she would have told me to look up a bit more.

In terms of the wedding day:
·I wouldn't change anything that I had the power to change.

In terms of planning: ·Be flexible. Make choices based on what you want, but be mentally prepared to make changes if circumstances require it. ·It's your day, don't let anyone else tell you what you should or should not do. This is good advice and you should follow it. The major lesson I learned here is that a ton of people will give you this advice, but most of them don't count themselves as part of "anyone else," and when you decide not to do what they want, they will be surprised and severely offended. Exceptions to this could be your parents if you have functional relationships them, but they should only be able influence some of your choices, not dictate them.

View Quoted Comment I could have used the advice about strategizing some shots you’re envisioning with the photographer. I wish we had more silly shots because we are a couple of dorks always joking around and laughing.

View Quoted Comment SAME. My feet were so swollen, and our photographer only got a few poses. Wish we had gotten more random candid shots.

View Quoted Comment So true! Good points...

I'm so glad I came across this thread, thank you to all who gave advice because this was something I needed to read.

I was fortunate enough to have a lot of friends get married before me, so I already knew the keep it simple rule.

HOWEVER.

I wish I had moved on from my family drama earlier (that's why I push that so hard in response to those posts), so we could have invited more friends.

And... I wish I had stood my ground and told DH that I had a super bad feeling about the weekend precana, and that I didn't want to do it. It was traumatizing from minute one, was poorly run, triggered me six ways from Sunday, and it ended up being for exactly nothing, because the priest wouldn't marry us in the Church (some of it related to my reaction to precana). I'm glad we didn't - I'm not Christian, and our civil ceremony blended our beliefs much more evenly - but... it was a waste of time and money and I'm still dealing with the emotional fall out.

So. If you have a bad feeling about something, there's a reason.

I wish they would have told me to chill out!!! I was so stressed, crying a lot the time and gained weight.

Excellent advice! And congratulations!

View Quoted Comment Just relaxed, everything will work itself out

This is super helpful! Thank you