Tips - Does this sound right?

Yep, that's about right (you don't need to tip photographer/videographer if they own their company). Most brides don't realize until near the wedding date that they should factor the extra $1500-$2000 (tips and vendor meals).

View Quoted Comment Well, this whole budget thing has gotten me depressed. Is this normal? My fiancé and I don’t really have a budget, but I was expecting to spend more around $35K. After, finally collecting estimated quotes (and btw I’m 100% skimping on decorating and getting a florist and DIY those), the cost is closer to $50K. I feel like this is such a complete waste of money. I would much rather get our lake boat that we’ve been wanting than throw a big party for other people.

So my DJ owns his company yet on the contract is a “you must tip 15-20%.” Why doesn’t he just include in the fee? I get tipping servers and bar tenders, but if you own the company it’s doesn’t make sense.

View Quoted Comment

Can you elope at all? If you don't want to do the big wedding and would prefer to buy a lake boat is eloping an option? What does your FH say about it all?

View Quoted Comment

This is very unusual, especially if it says you "must". Tips by nature are never a must.

View Quoted Comment It sounds like you and FH are not on the same page with the way you are envisioning your wedding and what you think is acceptable to spend. I would sit down with him and go over your budget and find places to cut back/compromise. It’s OK to splurge on your wedding day, IF both parties are in agreement. It sounds as though your FH has very lofty ideas for your wedding, but you aren’t on board with what those ideas are going to cost. And that is totally valid! Maybe have FH pick his top three priorities, and let those be the areas you splurge on. It will force him to really think about what is most important to him, rather than getting carried away with cool ideas that aren’t necessary.

View Quoted Comment We are very lucky and if we wanted to stop working and still have this wedding, we could. We could also get the lake boat, I just… I don’t know. The thought of spending close to $50K really bothers me. I think it’s because I grew up frugal and it’s just not sitting in me well. I was getting ready to go part time at my job, but now I’m finding myself backpedaling after seeing how much this wedding would cost 😭

View Quoted Comment

You are very lucky then but I understand it is still a lot of money to lay out for one day of your life. Is there anything you can change like venue or something to find something cheaper? But then sometimes cheaper means not as good as quality so then there's that to consider as well isn't there? What would people say if you did elope?

View Quoted Comment I think the only thing we could do is cut out our friends and extended family and have an immediate family only wedding. For reference, my older brother had a 500+ guest wedding (it was in the Philippines so A LOT cheaper). I’m already “skimping” on a 100 guest wedding. Immediately family only would be frowned upon lol.

View Quoted Comment

Wow! 500 is a lot! It's hard isn't it when trying to please everyone and make them all happy but also make ourselves happy as well. I hope you can sort it all out .

Seems about right. But only tip if they do a GOOD job day of or within the next week. You don't want to overpay for services that you were not satisfied with.
Flowers are definitely expensive. I am only doing real flowers for myself and my FH. If you go on Amazon and look under Ling's Moments, their prices on their fake flowers are very reasonable and they look GOOD! The best part of this is that you can reuse these flowers! So, if you want to keep them you can decorate around your house. If you want your guests to take them then they can use it for their house. I ordered from this shop for a big flower display for my wedding arch, bouquets for the brides, boutonniere's for the guys, and corsages for the moms. I'm pretty sure I saved myself about $700-800!
Have you already put a deposit down for anything?? If not then keep doing your research and see where you can downsize for cheaper
By the way, I am also Filipino so I KNOW how important it is to be throwing a wedding lol. I am actually doing a VERY non-traditional wedding in which my parents surprisingly agreed upon (especially because of COVID). I know a lot of family members will be sad that they didn't attend but my FH and I REALLY wanted to have a small and intimate wedding of 50 people or less. And that is exactly what we are doing. For me, I honestly could care less what my other family members think because I am the one getting married and it's MY day. I wanted it to be solely on just me and my FH.