To baby or not to baby?

View Quoted Comment Am I over worrying compared to the rest?

View Quoted Comment Yes.
Unless your doctor is freaking out solely about age - and, honestly, get a new doctor then - the average age at which Americans are having babies is older, now.
I've HAD a doctor try to lecture me about when to have a baby. DH and I hadn't been together long, I had a TERRIBLE job, and was on Medicaid, but she was more concerned about my supposed age. I changed doctors. My current doctor has not only ushered several of my friends through successful pregnancies, she didn't even blink that I was over 35. Extra tests might be run, but...
30 is not only the end of the world... my 30s have been INFINITELY better than my 20s. Across every aspect of life.

View Quoted Comment That is so reassuring!

I agree with Rebecca. I'm almost 31, and I spoke with my gyno about pregnancy during my last visit. She basically said that 30s are perfectly fine for pregnancy, and that the fertility decline starts at around 40 and progresses from there. While PCOS is definitely something to factor in, your current age shouldn't be a huge obstacle. The best thing to do is to talk to your doctor about your concerns and family planning and see what they have to say. The average woman is having children later now than in earlier generations for a variety of reasons.

View Quoted Comment Have other women heard this? My gyno told me that fertility decline technically starts in your early 20s, but it really starts plummeting in your late 30s.

View Quoted Comment It technically starts declining super early (basically after you start menstruating there's a teeny drop in fertility with every passing year, a 15 year old is going to technically be more fertile than a 20 year old, but...not by much), but significant decline happens around 40. And even with that, plenty of women have children after 40. Conception just tends to become harder and there is a higher risk of developmental disorders, so there is more screening during the process, but it is not an absolute no.

This is a personal decision that only you and your partner can make together. I'm currently 30 and we've been trying to conceive for over a year now. No medical problems, just unexplained infertility. The reality is that 1 out of 8 couples will experience fertility problems. We didn't know that we would be one of them until we started trying. If I could turn back time, we would have started trying before our wedding. Since you already have an official PCOS diagnosis working against you, I would set up a preconception appointment with your OB and have an honest assessment and conversation about your hopes and plans. The best thing to do in order to make an informed decision would be to consult your doctor.

Give yourself a year or two to build a strong marriage, before you add this TTC issue to the mix.

View Quoted Comment Plummeting, is false information by a person who makes big money from infertility treatments, which are up there with cosmetic plastic surgery as big moneymakers for physicians. Throughout your thirties the fertility rate drops by very small increments per year. And do not take even that as totally reliable. In societies ( including some in US)
where there is a religious issue against birth control, and favoring families with 6-12 babies, in Europe, the fertility rate stayed higher into late 30's, ( and some of the European groups measured commonly had children at 16) indicating that whether or not women want to conceive has a lot to do with the statistics.
Statistics on increasing difficulty of conceiving start by saying, who wants to conceive now? Who is trying, and nothing is happening? Yet large numbers who report they still are, in their thirties, are mot trying. They may be open to having a baby if they conceive. But go for years and years of that time having sex 1-2 times a month, and sometimes months at a time without sec. But still count themselves as trying yo conceive. For those actively trying over a period of time, most who can conceive at all, ever, have within 5% biological chance at 35 as at 25. If you look at statistics of people which includes a reporting requirement that that includes actually having sex at least 5-6 times a month. I have read studies where more than half of the people who report themselves as trying are on birth control, to make sure to space the kids 3 years or so apart, between their active trying to conceive periods . So be careful the studies you read, of you will be far more worried than there is any real need to be.

View Quoted Comment I definitely have no love lost for the fertility industry. This is really interesting. Is infertility more common than it used to be? That's also what it seems like from a non-expert perspective but could also be an industry narrative

How exciting!!! I personally would wait until after the wedding. That was actually my biggest fear of postponing my wedding due to the pandemic that I would get pregnant before. I couldn’t imagine planning a wedding and actually doing the day with a little one to care for. But that’s just me. As far as age goes I wouldn’t be concerned; however the medical conditions are a different story. My husband and I are 32 and 33 nearing the end of pregnancy with our first and it has been the easiest thing I have ever done. Literally not 1 symptom and have felt absolutely amazing every single day. It also took us 1 try to get pregnant... the day after the wedding! I know lifestyle and genetics play a role though also. Either way, when you both decide will be the perfect timing, best wishes!!! ❤️

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response

View Quoted Comment I teach anatomy. I know you start losing your store of eggs in puberty. It can be technically different for each person but your quality of eggs is based on how old they (basically you) are. I've heard early thirties but it seems many here have heard it's ok even then

View Quoted Comment Talking with my ob might be a good idea. I'd feel better with a plan

View Quoted Comment Due to the change in our environment caused by human created carcinogens and many other chemicals, we simply do not know on a grand scale yet all the ways fertility has been or will be impacted

View Quoted Comment Thank you! You sound so positive and happy and encouraging!