To elope or not to elope

Although i have no advice, I will say I wish we were eloping. We are having a large wedding of about 300+ guests. I still have 11 months to go and it has been quite the whirlwind. I'm truly tired of it and I just want to be married to my FH already. Best of luck to you!

There are plenty of beautiful alternatives besides going to the courthouse. We do about 100 elopements a year; most are just the couple and two witnesses, sometimes a few family members too. We have an array of parks and little restaurants that welcome little groups. Our peeps sometimes wear pretty dresses, get music, flowers, photography for an hour or so.

Honestly, finding a venue in any budget for your date is going to be tough; it's a very popular weekend, but going the alternative route above might work beautifully. And if it's just your family, you can think about a Thursday or an afternoon. And it will be in your budget for a lovely party.

I wish FH wanted to elope! There was another user who did an awesome BAM on her courthouse elopement - I'll try to find it. She detailed the whole day very well.

ETA: Found it!

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/who-mrs-jones-courthouse-elopement-pro-bam/63257fcab37bd152.html

I wanted to elope as well! My fiancé and I are going to the courthouse in the morning with our parents and then having a reception later that night. Even something as small as a reception has caused a lot of stress and has cost a lot of money. I would highly recommend eloping!

FH and I have been struggling with our wedding plan. It's bringing up a lot of awkward and despondent feelings. We are going to sit down and talk tomorrow, after taking a week off from anything wedding related. I think we are going to end up having a court house wedding, a nice, intimate dinner with our families and MOH and BM, and then having a reception in the evening, maybe starting at 8pm. This will help us keep costs lower and allow us to spend the intimate time with those who are closest to us and most important to us.

Here is our local court house. I truly think it will be just as beautiful as the backyard wedding we had previously planned.

I am having a small wedding with 13 people. Siblings parents grandparents & 2 friends. We are still dealing with opinions which is why I hoped to avoid by having such a small wedding. I wish you good luck with your planning!

Thank you, @AllieCat!! Yeah, just popping in to say that a courthouse wedding can still be very intimate, lovely, and perfect. You don't have to compromise on the photography, dress, or flowers just because you're heading to the courthouse. Your wedding is what you and your FH make of it.

We will be renewing our vows and touching on the religious aspect since we just had a civil ceremony. We are going to have about 25-30 guests total, and it will be so much fun!

We were in a similar boat. We didn't want to have a big wedding and didn't want to spend a ton of money. Ultimately the most important thing to us is just being married and becoming a family, as FH will be a step father to my daughter, who adores him. We finally decided that we didn't want a "normal wedding". So we're going to the courthouse for a small ceremony with my daughter and parents to legally get married. And then taking a weekend trip with just my daughter to celebrate becoming a family. Then FH and I are going to Jamaica with two couples that we chose and are having a super intimate ceremony on the beach. I got a dress and he's still wearing a tux. And it is perfect for us! We aren't having a party when we get back, and no one is throwing us a shower, as we don't want to ask for gifts from people that aren't coming to the wedding. And the party is the most expensive part of the wedding, so that's why we're opting out of that.

I love attending weddings for others. But for us, we just want it to be about us and our love and our little family finally being official. The planning has been so stress free and really nice on our budget.

Good luck in your planning!!!

@AllieCat Thank you for finding @Who? Mrs. Jones's BAM!! I LOVED IT! I cried reading it, truly beautiful.

Thank you all for your responses. I really am thinking something small and intimate may be the way to go! We don't need any gifts or money or anything of that sort. We have been living together for over a year and combined two complete households when we did, so we have no more room for any gifts!

This whole "wedding planning" that is supposed to be so fun and amazing has just given me a headache. I don't care about anything except marrying my best friend! FFIL is an ordained minister so we can tie the knot anywhere, which sounds better and better by the minute!

@Paige aw! Thank you! btw... we still got a bunch of $$ from distant relatives who saw our good news on FB. people love to support their fam!

We wanted to elope to the little Yosemite chapel but ended up w a semi small wedding in Maryland... o well!

We started out with the 125 person guest list and then considered having a "local elopement." In Chicago there are tons of places to get married (Millennium park, Lily Pool, Lincoln park conservatory, Buckingham fountain) and it usually just requires a permit. There are companies who provide an officiant and a photographer for a flat rate and we were allowed to bring about 20 people. We were then just going to take them out for either brunch or dinner. This would've cost us under $2000. We ultimately aren't doing that but it's an awesome alternative

Every minute I have to make another decision I add a tally to why we should have done an elopement or a small destination wedding. I knew it was going to be a lot of work but didn't realize how time and mind consuming it would be. Plus everyone has opinions about everything. It also has put a bit of a strain on our relationship. We use to have so much to talk about. Now we need to plan no wedding talk time and it feels awkward so we have been focusing on that and the disappointment and discouragement this party planning has been. I hope you both find what's right for you. No matter what you do the people that love you will support you and ultimately you are marrying your spouse at the end of the day.

If you truly want to elope, then why not get married in you honeymoon destination? It will beat the Courthouse ambiance any day.

The caution with eloping is will someone's feelings like parents or other close relatives be extremely hurt? This is a very slippery slope.

If you want just something very small and intimate you can choose a local restaurant which has a private room. Invite only immediate family and pay an officiant for your wedding in the private room. Have a nice luncheon or dinner and then you can be on your way to your honeymoon.

If you want, when you return, have a small cocktail party in mom's yard for family and friends where you can share you honeymoon pictures.

Will your families hold it against you forever? Everyone holds this against my aunt and uncle (who have been married 25 years now) to this day. I couldn't fathom dealing with that type of resentment forever.

If yours will be fine with it, go for it! But I hope you know that the courthouse is not your only option. I have friends who did their elopement/honeymoon as one thing in Italy.

Elope to an exotic beach somewhere. Have a simple meal and a glass of champagne. Wear something light and flowy. sounds fun and romantic. It lessens the drama of a huge melodramatic ,expensive wedding.

If you decide on a destination, get married here first.

I don't think you're thinking about this the right way. The first part -- eloping, getting photos taken on honeymoon -- perfect!

The second part -- "reception" back home is what's going to break the bank. The ceremony is cheap. It's the reception that costs money. Plus, since you eloped, it's not a reception, but a celebration. With a 5K budget, you likely won't be able to do the honeymoon and the celebration, so in your case, I'd say skip the celebration and have a fantastic time on your honeymoon.

You can do a vow renewal with ceremony and reception in 5-10 years.

I have been thinking of elopement or a court house wedding, I've dreamed of my fairytale wedding my entire life. Now that I've been engaged for 4 months and started planning,it's been nothing but a nightmare, my mom is a nightmare and has just made this whole experience so far miserable and unbearing. I say do what you want and what you think is best for you and your FH! Good luck and best wishes to you both