To Hyphenate, or Not to Hyphenate

Have you considered changing your maiden name to your middle name? I've heard that's pretty common! That way you don't have to deal with the fuss of hyphenating and also don't have to say goodbye to your maiden name forever. I also know people with two middle names so if you're attached to your current middle name you could still keep it. Big decisions!

Why would anyone get in a tizzy about you not taking his name? You can do whatever you want with your name, it is yours after all. I kept my name and no one has questioned anything. That being said, I had thought that 'if' I had changed my name, I would have hyphenated too. some people also change their middle ale tho their maiden name and then take their spouses last time. I decided that name changing and the tradition behind it wasn't for me, but I'm a huge proponent of you do you. Just make sure you are happy with what you select

*middle name (can't edit)

I’m in the same boat. FH is very traditional about these things and has expressed his feelings on me solely taking his last name. I’m not a fan of changing my middle name to my maiden name because my parents gave us middle names after important people/family members in their lives. My FHs brother recently got married and she hyphenated her last name, I’ll have to ask her what pros and cons she’s experienced.

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This is what I'm doing. I'm very attached to my maiden name and have never liked my middle name, so it was an easy decision for me. I'm dropping my current middle name, putting my maiden name in its place, and taking FH's last name. If your not 100% sure how you want to fill out forms for the rest of your life, then I wouldn't change anything yet. There is no rule that you have to change it tomorrow so you can wait a while longer to decide if you want.

I have worked in medical billing and coding and can say I hate Hyphenated names lol I have seen a lot of people who do not legally hyphenate their name but they do so on social media etc.

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See, this is what I was thinking of doing- I've heard its a PITA to hyphenate for records etc. Already on almost all of my social media, I have it hyphenated.

So my guess is if i want to call myself by my hyphenated name online or for (lack of a better word) fun I can, but it's sounding more like I should just change it. Plus I already have people assuming its going to be "Mrs. M******" instead of my hyphenated name.

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Hi!

I actually did consider it, but my maiden name is so odd as a middle name. Plus, my parents really put thought into my name, so the thought of me dropping my middle is something I'm kind of turned off to.

I plan on taking my FH's last name, even though I'm not a fan of it. I've heard from multiple people it is a pain when it's hyphenated because you never know how someone put it in the system at a doctors office, dentist office, etc. You could always make your maiden name your middle name; I heard this from my hmua who said how she hyphened her name and what a pain it is. It's up to you on what you plan on doing. You could always hold off on going to the SSA until you made up your mind.

I'm a ways off from changing my name but I'll be moving my current last name to a middle name (I'll have two middle names). There weren't any of my names I wanted to give up (my last name is part of my identity and my middle name is shared with my mom and great-grandmother) and I really didn't want to hyphenate.

Decisions decisions. I'm just moving my last name to my middle name. FH's first wife (and mother of his children) didn't take his name, so I know he wouldn't mind if I kept mine, but I also know it will mean a lot to him if I do.

I have an apostrophe in my maiden name and it is AWFUL to deal with for doctors offices, applications, computer systems, everything! Hyphenating is going to do the exact same thing, some systems can’t handle the hyphen so they’ll put a space, or squish the two names together or some other mark between them and you end up with a note in your phone of how your name is listed at every place. I would personally say legally change it, but then socially use the hyphen. I totally get not wanting your last name as a middle name, mine would sound very odd there as well.

I think you should add your maiden name to your middle name. I think it helps keep part of your identity you have had most of your life so far. This way you will also have the same last name as your spouse and one day children.

I've heard it's a pain! Especially for couples with children. Could you move your maiden name to your middle name?

Having two last names can lead to many issues later on when people are filing your name under a last name. I used to work a place where some some students had two last names and they always ran into issues with sometimes places filing their last name under the first last name and sometimes under the second last name. Some people thought the first last name was a middle name.

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My maiden name is also very odd as a middle name but I don't care if I'm weird. I totally understand your reasons for not wanting to drop your middle name. Having two middle names seems like it would be nearly as complicated as hyphenating. I think changing to your husbands name legally and hyphenating socially sounds like a great option but it is a major decision. My real advice is don't change anything until you're sure.

Instead of dropping your middle name why not add your maiden name as a second one? I’ve always had two (one from each side of my family) and I love them. Adding a middle is an option if you don’t want to part with your name but don’t want a super long or hypenated last name!

I been back and forth about this same thing. Before getting engaged I always said I would hyphenate so I can keep my connection with my Dad but in front of my father ( before he died) FH asked if I would take his name and I said I'll hyphenate but my dad said "don't half a** it 😄, I'll always be your father and you know you'll always be a "Dargan". So that made me think. Then after FH explained how important taking his name is to him I decided to not hyphenate and just take his name. I'm pretty excited about it too.

I’m just keeping my maiden name as a middle name. Realistically few people will actually use your married name bc it’s so long if it’s hyphenated

I refuse to hyphenate but want to keep my maiden name. So I am moving it to my middle name. I’ll have two middle names I shorten intials so I will have first 2 middle shortened to JB most of the time and then his last name