To Invite Children Or Not That Is the Question?

This is a common question that is polarizing because some are anti children except for flowergirl/infants and others are pro children with no middle ground. Browse the search feature to read other responses.


In general, if you invite specific children you will offend other guests if you tell them they cannot bring theirs and then see children at the wedding, though they will never say a word to you.

That said, we are inviting kids because many VIPs would not be able to attend if we didn’t and weddings in our circles are family events for everyone. If you don’t invite kids , you are blacklisted from future family events.

We are only having my fiancé’s nieces and nephew since they will be ring bearer and flower girls - they are between ages 11 and 5 so I know they will be well behaved. We will not be inviting other children. I do not want crying/yelling/screaming during the ceremony and kids running around ruining things during the reception.

My husband and I only invited our 2 kids, & my niece/nephew because they're in our bridal party, No one else was/is allowed to bring kids! (Our minimony & upcoming reception)

Generally, unless the only children that will be present are those in the bridal party, it is considered rude to invite some people's children and not others.

If I were you, I would count how many children in total you'd be inviting, and then consider things such as how old they are, what the vibe of your wedding is etc and then decide if you are ok with it or not.

In my own circumstances - our original wedding plan was a 150 person black tie soiree with lots of food, drinks and dancing, and we were not going to have children because it wasn't an appropriate place for them. Now, due to COVID, we have downsized our wedding to 45-50 people and our reception will be a sit down dinner at a nice restaurant. We will have children present at our wedding 2.0 because the atmosphere will be more suitable, and there are only 4 children who are similar in age and thus will have their own company to play and mingle with.

I feel this is more of a case by case basis. Both my sisters said no kids at their weddings and a lot of people opted not to come since they would need a babysitter. My middle sister had a good reason (married in a state park with a steep hill/cliff adjacent to the ceremony setting). I am allowing kids to my wedding because I would rather have those important friends and family members celebrate our big day with us.

I think it's OK to invite your nieces and nephews. People will be more understanding since they're family, though I recommend making them a flower girl or ring bearer if you do.

Hello ! We invited the whole families, so we let them decide if they come with children or not. Suprisingly, most of them decided not to bring them, so we only had 3 of them. I think that if we had forbidden comming with children , people would be offended... but this way, the decision was theirs ;-)

You either have all or none with the exception of those in the wedding.


We are having an 18 and older wedding with the exception of the girls in the wedding. We know to many parents who do not actually watch their children or let alone parent them. So we decided not have kids at the wedding. It would really piss us off if our wedding got ruined because of some careless parents.we spent a lot of time and money on it. I think though that this is personal preference and possibly a decision based off of how well behaved the children are. If like me you know these kids are going to be a nightmare then I'd opt out. But if you know they can behave and if they don't the parent is going to correct them immediately then you may want to include them.

Personally, I don't think a wedding is the place for children. If I had it my way, we wouldn't have any at ours.

We're just letting our immediate family bring their kids, only because of my family. All of my family live in Canada and the Philippines, and they don't feel comfortable leaving their children in another country for a week, and I understand that. So we're allowing family to bring their kids so that my family can attend lol.

Our wedding is 18+ other than our flower girl, ring bearer, and a junior bridesmaid that are all FH's sister's kids. We don't have any other nieces or nephews so it's easy to cap the kids to those 3, but they will also only be in the ceremony and will be leaving immediately after dinner at the latest (probably earlier). We didn't invite kids because there are a TON of kids in FH's extended family and we did not have the room to add them all to the guest list. Like it would have added another 30ish people. Also, our venue isn't super kid friendly so we didn't want to have to worry about their safety the entire time.

I do wish we could change our rule to 16+ only because I have a couple of close cousins I would like to invite and can't justify only inviting their mom and her new bf because technically it's my uncle's ex and they live out of state. But if we altered it then we would be splitting up families where one kid would be able to come while another can't and obviously we can't do that.

I'm always team no kids! You never know when they might have a melt down, they are usually in the way during the reception, and they prevent parents from being able to fully enjoy themselves. I just don't think weddings are places for kids.

We're allowing our friends and family to make the decision for themselves. I am a single parent so usually even when my son was invited I opted to have a babysitter so that I could have a nice night out. We have a lot of kids from age 4-16 in our families and we would hate to exclude them. Some of my oldest friends have young kids and I would much rather see them and celebrate with them, then have them skip because I excluded their children (when they included mine at their celebrations)

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It's tough most people will not bring children but then there are those that will bring all five. Tough decisions! Thanks so much for your feedback!

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Ashlee: You make very valid points and I'm certain you all will have the best time! Thanks so much for sharing and congrats!!

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Meghan: For weddings, baby showers, bridal parties etc. I think that too many children can complicate matters and draw attention away from the actual event. However sometimes those unplanned moments make the event

Thanks so much for sharing and congrats!

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Jessi - thanks for your feedback! The venue definitely sets further restrictions. For instance, my venue is an outdoor terrace on the coastline. It's not at all kid friendly - so that is something to definitely consider. Congrats on your engagement and I know you will have an amazing time!

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Shy - I agree - I think immediate family is appropriate and really it's whatever is best for the couple! Thanks for sharing and congrats!

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You're welcome! Just go with the plan that makes you and your partner the happiest! Congrats to you as well!

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Katie: Great points! Who spends tons of money and time to host a daycare

It definitely is a preference and the type of environment you desire! Thanks sooo much for sharing and I hope you have a beautiful wedding!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you I hope you have a beautiful wedding to