To plan a family or plan a wedding?

View Quoted Comment Hi fellow covid bride! You're right of course, we are TTC right now and I'm *trying* not stress about it. My friends and family keep telling me that I'll get pregnant easily, but I've been realizing that they are just trying to be kind. There are really no guarantees at all.


I really like your idea of a naming ceremony. I guess we will just have to figure out a way to celebrate at some point one way or another. We also thought about having some sort of celebration in the fall when hopefully more ppl are vaccinated so my mom can hopefully attend. We are still playing with this idea, but the doctor says my mom's immune system is too weak for her to get vaccinated. So it's a big IF at this point. But I really appreciate your ideas and will definitely consider them

View Quoted Comment Hi Jena, thank you so much for your response! It's so nice to know I'm not alone with these internal struggles. (Not that my husband isn't the best and most supportive man in the world!) But sometimes you want to hear from another woman about his stuff


I totally get wanting to have it all, and the guilt that can come with that. Especially when you're thinking not only about your experiences but also about your parents ability to experience these life goals with you. I know my mom was super disappointed when we cancelled our wedding, and my dad is in his 80s. So I know how you feel about trying to strike that balance. I really hope that you, your fiance, and your parents are all able to have that special, memorable day in December. Spending you lots of positive vibes in hopes that it all work out for you!
I really like your idea of trying to have a celebration later this year in hopes that more ppl will be vaccinated by then. My husband and I talked about the possibility of doing that close to where my parents live (they're in another state), maybe in the fall. Although the doctor says that my mom's immune system is too weak to get the vaccine, so it's a big maybe at this point. But we'll continue to consider that. I think you're absolutely right, it might just take a lot more balance and pivoting to make it all work somehow. I'm sure wishing you the best of luck too!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much! That's actually really good advice. You're right of course, not stressing is really key here. Perhaps we can do something with just immediate family outside in the summer, or in the fall if more people are vaccinated. (All of our immediate family members reside in different states so that makes everything harder to plan.) I guess we can also throw a party or vow renewal anytime, no matter how long it takes for the pieces to finally fall into place. Maybe we'll start a new trend

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Something small now (or soon to celebrate) will feel great, especially to celebrate with immediate family. Then you can relax and enjoy baby-making. After you enjoy time with your new baby you & your spouse can decide if/what kind of wedding celebration feels right to you at that time.

My friend was thrilled to pregnant before her wedding...she lost the baby about a month before her wedding! It was hard watching her and her husband try to put on a smiling face at their wedding but they were both crushed and had a hard time enjoying what should have been a joyful day.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow, I so feel for your friend! I hope she's healing and has lots of support. Really good advice though. Especially since summer is coming and might make it a bit easier to do something small safely outside.

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I am so sorry to hear about your mom!

Try to stay calm, I have had one too many physical health problems from stress that I couldn't believe was possible so I think it is most important that you can relax about getting pregnant and wedding as much as you can (I know it is easy to say and hard to do!)

Shout out here if you ever need ideas for the naming ceremony, I've been to one and it was the most beautiful celebration of kids that I have ever seen. And btw that naming ceremony was by a mom who was 38 when she had the baby and she was so panicked about getting pregnant because of her age that she decided to start trying early before her wedding and then she got pregnant very quickly and the boy was almost walking at their wedding!

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That was years ago and she now has a happy family with three children. But knowing her experience, and how stressful wedding planning is, I would advise any friend to NOT try and do both at the same time.

View Quoted Comment Hi Sue, we are truly lucky to have supportive and understanding sig others! I know that after reading some of these forums we may experience some rude responses and judgement for wanting to have it all. Just know that even though we may be strangers there are other brides here who are 100% behind you and it is ok to still want it all! I think half the battle will be getting in front of judgement by being transparent on safety measures and just over communicating everything. I like a lot of what the others here recommend in terms of pivoting. For example maybe having a vow renewal event further out would allow you to wear your dress again, even give your potential new family member a chance to participate in something beautiful with you! Yes a little different experience but maybe even more wonderful. I’m tearing up at the possibility!


I like the idea of going to your mom and elderly father to hold the event there, with local family and friends so no travel is needed on their part. Having a hybrid ceremony with zoom so those in other states could see it. Maybe spend a bit more on a videographer with a drone who can capture or maybe live cast beautiful scenes from your wedding and create a video to share with those not there. Maybe make it a wedding month “tour” and share a little more intimate time in each state with those who didn’t get to attend! These are actually some ideas I’m thinking of trying out as well wishing you all the best of luck in your wedding planning and having a new family member to share it all with too!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much, Marie! It's very hopeful to hear that about your friend. I'd love to have a similar experience. I guess all I can do is try and, like you said, stay calm and don't stress!

View Quoted Comment Ahh thanks so much, Jena! I love these ideas. I'd love to know what ideas you end up trying out too. Maybe gone are the days of the traditional wedding and the traditional timeline (i.e. wedding then babies). Maybe it just has to a crazy mash up of life events in whatever order they happen to fall. And maybe that can even be a good thing, even though it makes planning SO much more difficult. I hope we can both find ways to make that the case. (And ways to sidestep judgement from ppl who might struggle to relate.) I think that as long as we can find a way to make it safe enough for my mom, it would be really nice to do something later this year to celebrate. I know you mentioned doing something for your parents this summer as well. I think that's super smart because the warm weather will make it a lot easier

View Quoted Comment That definitely makes a lot sense. Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment Gosh, I'm sorry! I thought I had responded to this. I am so, so sorry to hear about your stillborn. My heart goes out to you and your fiance. I hope you both find some sort of peace as you heal. I can definitely understand wanting to try again, but can also understand wanting to wait so that you can enjoy your wedding and honeymoon. I guess there's no right answer here, just whatever works best for you guys.