Too many kids...

I wanted to add that for my family weddings are not adult affairs. My family would be shocked and offended if children where not invited. On the other hand FH family are surprised kids are invited. And most wedding are adults only.

Your venue is not child friendly and you have not taken them into consideration with dinner time (and I am assuming other events). I would rethink both of your priority's and come up with a solution that both of you can be happy with.

Um, OP...do YOU want kids there?

Why is he dead set on having kids there? Is he risking offending friends or family if they aren't invited? FH and I have tons of friends with small kids and I made it clear no children will be invited (we are not even having a flower girl and ring bearer.)

Tell him to picture 17 kids monopolizing your dance floor. It's not cute and it can be dangerous when people are drunk (I've seen some ridiculous dancing at weddings). I've also seen kids run around the dance floor during a couple's first dance, while the parents did nothing to stop them. I personally can't stand when kids are at weddings.

We are going to have 5 kids under the age of 4 at our wedding(one of which will be ours). Our bridal suite is enormous so we will be hiring a babysitter and set up an area in there with a few movies, blankets and toys. That way the parents don't have to worry about bed time or watching them all night long while trying to have fun!

I love children but not having children at my wedding. Just want the adults to enjoy themselves and let loose. Plus all the work that I'm putting into the wedding would be a waste to have people leave early because of their children.

We had 20 or so kids under 12 as well. Our flower girl was the first to crash (2yo), but she was there until close to 9. She didn't get her normal nap that day. If parents know that it's later and they want to bring their kids, they can force naps on them. The kids at ours danced all night though and loved it. We have some great shots of them. It was one of the best parts for DH and I.

I don't think it seems like that many. We'll have around 150 adults and 20 kids. We are going to give the kids activity books personalized for our wedding and disposable cameras. They will get a kids meal. With that many kids they will probably hang out with each other and have tons of fun. It's strange you're venue even mentioned it. Not their place to say anything.

I also think it depends on the ages. Under 12 is pretty vague. If they are 2 that's a lot different than 9.

I definitely think it depends on the ages and temperaments of the kids involved. We had more than 20 people under 18 at our wedding, but only two were under 5. Our dinner was around 8:15, but there were appetizers available before that. One of my cousins with kids left early, but she always does whether her kids are invited or not. My other cousins were actually marveling that we got her to stay out until 10:30pm! My family generally includes kids in parties, so they're used to staying up later for a special occasion. I loved having them and it wouldn't have been the same without them (or their parents who might have stayed home). They didn't need any special favors or games, but I would definitely recommend a photo booth, if that's in your budget.

Seems like a reasonable number of kids to me. It's only 7 or 9 families. You may be surprised how many kids don't come, either cause OOT guests didn't want to drag their kids to a late wedding, or cause local people just leave them with babysitters. I do think an activity corner for any that do come is a great idea, and your guests will thank you.

Our guest list is 103 and right now we are at 15 kids lol.

Almost all are under 6 years old but they have all attended weddings prior and the parents all stayed until at least 10pm or beyond.

Future Mrs D -- I'm going to echo what Celia asked. What about you? Do you want children to attend your wedding? I always shudder a little when one half of a couple says, "It's not an option/he or she is adamant..."

It's your wedding, too. If you have a venue manager raising her eyebrows at the amount of children attending your wedding (it's also likely she's concerned about the same thing the PPs are concerned about -- the very late dinner hour for the kids), this issue might warrant another discussion with your FH.

I know some people embrace the concept of children at weddings, and I know others feel pressured into inviting children because members of one or both families would be offended and angry if children were not invited (an unfair and unjust response coming from people who aren't hosting the event). Which one are you? It matters.

If you are having the kids, yes PLEASE have some activity fro them. 830 is a really late time for their dinner as a good chunk of them are probably going to bed around that time on a normal day.

You may also find that the parents opt to not bring them.

We are having a late dinner as well and when we sent out STDs, all the parents flat out said that there is no way they would bring their kids. They are looking forward to a childless night. And so are we....

OP, if I knew that dinner was going to be at 8:30, I wouldn't bring my child even if he was invited. That's too far out of his routine to eat and go to bed. I'd rather just get a sitter and make a night of it.

You will probably have a lot of parents, especially of younger children who feel that way.

I don't get the backlash for having kids on here but out of our 130 we will probably end up having 10 kids under 12 (5 under 4) and another 6 or 7 teenagers and we are looking forward to all of the kids there. Every family wedding we've been to has been a blast because of the kids and no one has ever left early to put kids to bed - it's a celebration! And even at family parties, kids always stay late. But both of our families are very kid friendly/excited about them so there's never a shortage of people wanting to watch the younger ones. And kids love all of the dancing and dj and activities going on so they don't need entertainment.

The only thing I would be worried about the pp have stated is that kids will be hungry by then (but so would I). Are you having a cocktail hour with snacks? If so this would appease those who want to eat before 8:30 (kids and adults alike)

The problem is the majority of the children are traveling from out of state. Yes, I do want children there. FH's sister just got married in May and had adult only reception and created major waves, resulting in some not coming. Hers would have been perfect for kids; it was outside under a pavillion on memorial day weekend with a family operated buffet in the afternoon. Scratched my head on that one, but whatever. Point is, most are traveling so finding a babysitter will be pretty hard. Im going to talk to my FMIL and see if she has any ideas. We will be having appetizers before dinner, but I'd definitely have to do some snacks/goodie bags for the kids. I'm hoping some will realize they dont want to bring their children due to the time, but generally they are all well behaved kids.

My kids are 4 and 6 (right now) and there's no way I would bring them to such a late wedding. Dinner's too late, everything's too late. When children are hungry, they are unbearable. If you insist on having them there, you should at least schedule dinner at a reasonable hour.

I will have about 10 kids at my wedding (3 are mine) I will have activities set up for them. How ever my wedding is from 12 pm to 5 pm so it's way before bedtime.

I still think I got you all beat in that department (kids to adult ratio)... The expected kids is 19 out of 60 guests...It's a real pain to plan for because I was really pushing to keep my guest count 50 or below, but because of family dynamics I know not inviting those family members because of their kid count was going to create tension. It's either kids or no kids and everyone gets invited regardless.