Torn ..anyone elope and have a wedding later?

My cousin got married in our courthouse. A year later on the same date she had a “real” wedding. While I’m sure she was happy, all of the guests took it as a joke I was a bridesmaid and I heard sooo many people saying it was inappropriate, “gift-grabby,” and just all around talking crap through her whole wedding!

with that said, when she originally told me about it, I suggested to her that she should do a vow renewal instead. Something small. Instead she invited 150 people.

I am am kind of put off by a later wedding, not so much “offended” but like I’m planning and having a wedding. You get married once (as long as it’s not multiple marriages lol) you shouldn’t just get to decide to get married and have a wedding later bevause you can’t afford it. We are having a very budgeted wedding so I get where you’re coming from!

Unless you have an actual reason (deployment, job etc) to get married sooner I would say wait!! I understand you want to marry the love of your life, but waiting won’t kill you!

Overall people on this thread are kinda rude! It is ultimately up to you and not what other people think! I hope I didn’t sound mean at all. I am just sharing from personal experience!

We actually asked ourselves the same questions. We decided that we are going to be legally married a year before the wedding to the day. Our parents will know, and immediate siblings or ill family members that cannot make it to the big celebration. We will not tell the majority of our guests that we have been legally married before that big day. The key players will know, but we want the rest of our family won't know as we still want them to come and celebrate with us. We are having a small wedding with mostly family anyways. And we are also buying a house and I'm moving in the midst of all of this so getting legally married ahead of time will make all of the paperwork will be easier. I hope this helps you choose either way!

I honestly don't think anyone cares when you do the legal paperwork. My brother and his wife weren't legally married on their wedding day but had a really nice ceremony and reception. They signed their legal paperwork a month later! Why would you feel the need to hide it? Why would they be offended they didn't have to go to the boring courthouse? I've known dozens of people who do a courthouse wedding/elopement of some sort and then celebrate with everyone later.