Traditional vs Non-traditional

It truly depends on you two as a couple and what you want. You can have two maids of honor and still have a "traditional" wedding. I guess I'm not too sure of what you're asking.

I think you should plan your day however seems perfect for you and your FH.

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Your wedding should be as traditional or non-traditional as you want it. Is your aunt paying for it? No, then she has no say in it. I would quit sharing ideas with her, though. It will only get worse if you aren't having the wedding that she envisions.

It depends whether you are going to actually ask your MOHs to take the lead in actively helping you plan , and if they are friends themselves... You could be adding for a LOT of drama if they each feel they are the "lead MOH", or they don't know each other well and have different communication styles.

That is likely behind her comments, more than tradition. Many women have maid of honor and matron of honor, so i don't think that's such an issue. But BM drama takes up more than its fair share of threads on the forums so just make sure you are 100% clear with each girl you ask to stand with you what you are expecting of her in terms of what you need help with, and what you're buying them - and not - to minimize stress later.

Also, traditional vs non traditional... We skipped the bouquet toss, garter, and all spotlight dances. We snuck away to cut the cake with just the photographer. Basically, once we were announced, the rest of the evening was eating and dancing and taking to everyone. You spend an hour after the ceremony taking photos - you only have three hours with all your guests...we didn't want to make everyone sit at their tables watching people they barely knew dance, or calling out single girls as if the sole purpose of life is too get married.

Most American wedding traditions come from medieval European royalty, and stem from superstitions - something blue is to ward off the evil eye that can cause infertility, and something borrowed was the bride wearing a married women's underwear who'd successfully given birth to confer her fertility to the new bride. White dresses were NOT for purity - it was a sign of wealth for queen Victoria to wear such an impractical white dress that would get dirty and be impossible to wear more than once... It was about wealth and power, and we've again changed the story because who would spend so much money on a white dress just because it's fashion statement? But if it means purity.. Well, of course you want to be pure! Diamond engagement rings? Marketing campaign by DeBeers to sell more diamonds in the early 20th century. The veil? Coming from the time of arranged marriages when families hid the bride's face till the moment if the ceremony - it's a cultural not Christian tradition, that's been repurposed with a Christian interpretation.

So, what is a traditional wedding? It's an amalgamation of different countries cultural traditions and marketing and an inherent desire to mimic the upper class's dress, mixed with superstitions from the middle East and ancient Europe...

Oh by the way... That garter tradition? Comes from royal weddings where people followed the couple to their bridal bed, and then watched to ensure the wedding was consummated, and would claim scraps of often blood-stained fabric from the bride's undergarments as a kind of souvineer. Ick!!!

I am non-traditional in almost every sense of the word. I've never been traditional in general so what makes people think my wedding is?

I'm having 2 maids of honor. My sister and my best friend. I couldn't choose one over the other and it just wouldn't be fair to either one of them. I really don't see the big deal about having two?

I'm also going to have purple in my wedding dress with a white polka dot overlay and tulle. It will still look like a wedding dress but it will have plenty of my personality.

Instead of cake, we are having mini cupcakes and my FH and I will be cutting a cheesecake, since we aren't huge cake fans. For a candy bar, we are having Mexican candy. We are both half Mexican so we want to incorporate that into our wedding.

Instead of a regular guestbook the guests will sign vinyl records and we will frame them, and hang them on our wall after the wedding. We are doing a lot of different things like that.

I think it is important to have yours and your future spouses personality in your wedding. For me, I want guests to say "oh that is so Allyson and Adrian"

It might be a generational thing too. My grandma was freaking out when I told her I didn't want a cake. She help my mom plan her wedding(in the 80's) so she doesn't understand that prices have changed SO MUCH since then.

Are you doing anything that they think is crazy off the wall, or is having 2 MOH's their limit of non-traditional?

My family is very old school and I'm the only one who like to be different. In their eyes I should have that "fairy tail" wedding with the ball gown and stuff. Me on the other hand, I just want to keep it simple with a twist on my own style nothing over the top. I picked my cousin and my best friend as my maid of honors because it was difficult for me to choose one. I just want my wedding to be fun.

It should be how you want it to be! We aren't traditional people, so ours isn't traditional, but its your day, not your aunts, so plan how you want!

Maybe you should just explain to them that's not what you want. I know it's easier said than done when people say it's what you want. I'm sure you want Your family to like what you choose too. Do your cousin and best friend know each other? Drama might not be a factor if they know each other, and like each other.

Don't let others decide who you should have in your wedding.

It should be exactly what you want it to be! FH and I are doing exactly what we want to do and not worrying about what is expected at weddings. It's our day and no matter what we're going to host our guests properly. No one will be affected by our uneven bridal party or the fact that we're not doing a bouquet toss and everyone will have a good time!

I don't think having 2 MOHs is all that "out there" or untraditional lol. Plus, it's your wedding not her's!

@Allymonbanana my cousin and my best friend know each other very well.

Lol @annakay511 Thank you

You'll never be able to please everyone. Focus on making the day what you guys want. It's your day and you are inviting guests to be a part of it, not dictate it. I don't even agree with the logic of "well so and so is paying for this part of the wedding so they should get a say on the design" No. It's your wedding. If they are going to put stipulations on the money then they can keep it.

We are doing nontraditional all the way. Fiance is having 7 groomsmen and I'm having 2 bridesmaids. We will each have one person stand up with us and everyone else will sit. No bouquet/garter toss, no special dances. We are doing a DW with the vibe of everyone hanging out for the weekend and we just happen to throw on fancy clothes and married on Saturday evening. One of the best decisions we made was hiring a wedding planner. Friends/family can be amazing helpers in the entire process but it's a lot easier to say you don't like an idea to someone you hired. No hurt feelings.

I think a wedding should represent the couple. I am not having a traditional person at all. My parents have their own thoughts on how it should go but they have come to accept I'm going to do it my way. So now they just say well it's different lol. Find your voice and do it your way.

Definitely depends on you guys as a couple. In my opinion, they should be a reflection of you and your love for each other. They don't have to be cookie cutter. We are doing some things that are traditional that we won't budge on and some things where tradition is out the window. And I'm sure some of the older people will turn their noses up. But guess what, it's your wedding not theirs! Make it your day!

Do what makes you happy!!! I've been getting a lot of flack because tradition isn't really my thing either. It's your wedding do what you want!

We are doing very non traditional.

I'm not wearing a wedding gown but a nice church dress instead that I can wear for years to come. We are not walking down an aisle, no dances, bouquet or garter toss, I'm not even going to be holding any flowers. No bridal party. I don't even think we are going to do a ring exchange as my FH can't wear a ring 80% of the time due to his job and I have issues with sevear RA in my hands.

So yup just basically doing a backyard picnic get together to celebrate and have a good time with family and friends and we just happen to get married at it.

Only thing that I insisted upon was a photographer and even with that she will be doing pics of us but we are also having her do actual family portraits with any of our guests that want them.

Then I don't see the big deal. The duties of MOH won't just fall on one person either.

Your wedding day should be exactly how you want it. I had two Maids of Honor too and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Please have the wedding you want.