Tricky Situation with Invited Wedding Guest

I don't see why what happens at work should change his personal life. Like you said, you already sent a save the date anyway. I would still invite her. If she feels like it's an uncomfortable situation, she can decline.

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A lot of things were said that can't be taken back by her and I think my FH was really hurt by them and so were the other staff. So her leaving changed their personal relationship too. He feels like he would be upset if she came at this point and so would the rest of his staff. So I understand why he is reluctant to send an invitation at this point. I don't know the person, so I'm trying to figure out what's best along with him. It feels delicate to me :/

I have had this situation too, however mine is with family. The thing is, this is Y'alls wedding. If y'all don't want to invite her... You don't have to. Yes, she got the STD but, if things ended badly I am sure she doesn't expect to get an invitation any ways.

I have somewhat of the same situation. I sent save the dates to two co-workers before I switched jobs. Some things transpired and I am no longer on speaking terms with these two individuals. They will not be getting invites to the wedding. I don't want any awkwardness and I personally am not paying for them to eat and drink on my special day. Circumstances change and even though they may have gotten a STD, that doesn't mean you are locked in to them coming if an issue occurs before invites go out. Do what makes you guys happy as a couple.

I know the general rule of thumb is if you send a STD then you send an invitation. However some “rules” need to be broken. If this person said things hurtful to your fh then I would not invite them. If there’s hard feelings I’d hate to think what if this person just showed up to be spiteful and said things with the rest of the office.

Ugh, type of scenario is mostly why I skipped save-the-dates and only sent an invitation a couple of months beforehand. Ordinarily I would say a save-the-date is an invite, so it's necessary to also send an actual invitation. In this case, she probably wouldn't want to attend under the circumstances anyway. To be more polite, your FH can reach out to her and let her know that because of the hurtful things said, the other circumstances, etc. she probably wouldn't be comfortable attending and he wouldn't be comfortable with her there.

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Oh jeez! Yeah family definitely makes it harder

That's the thing, I really wish this hadn't transpired because we would have been happy to have her. But that was what my FH said ... after all the hurt feelings he doubts she expects one at this point.

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Yeah i just imagine if I had something this upsetting happen, then got the invitation-would I feel obliged with going? I just want to basically avoid a lot of people being uncomfortable and tension at the wedding!

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Yes I always try to stick to etiquette as much as possible, but this one has me leaning toward no ... There is definitely hard feelings and I feel bad for everyone all around. I definitely don't want this in the atmosphere at our wedding

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Yeah luckily this is the only situation that has come up, but that's what my FH said-she wouldn't come even if we sent it. I hate that this happened