Trouble with asking for help

Never ask anyone for money for your party. That is the most horrible thing to do. Have the wedding you can afford.

If she wants to help, she will. You do not need to ask. Plan for the wedding you can afford. Also, never count on money unless it is in your hands. Anyone can offer to pay for things, but until the items are paid for, it isn't a done deal. Have seen many stories of promised money falling through, which is always why you should plan for the wedding you can afford.

Oh no, you should never ever ever ask someone else to fund your event. If you cannot afford things the way you are currently planning them, I would suggest going through each vendor and finding ways to cut costs. Trust me, there are SO many ways to cut costs and still have a beautiful wedding!

Which usually means that she didn't mean what she said about paying. Again, plan the wedding you can afford. If people come through, that is awesome, but if they don't you have it all covered.

I can't stress enough to plan what you can afford. Do not ask anyone for money.

If she had never said anything at all I'd agree with PPS. But she previously offered to help, so IMO you'd be doing nothing wrong to approach her to see if she still wants to be involved. That said, it's your FI, not you who should ask her if that offer is still on the table. Keep in mind that if she does agree to help, she may expect to be able to choose those vendors herself. If she says she's no longer able or willing to help, or puts conditions on it that you don't like then you will just have to scale back and rethink your plans. You are responsible to pay for your own wedding yourselves, no one else.

I don't think it's so strange that she said something last year since you are apparently only recently in the active planning stage, and since she asked you to approach her if you needed help. Again, however, this should be handled by FI, not you. I'd think twice if you don't want any pushback, complaints, control issues, or for her assistance to be held over your heads.

Oh, if she had previously offered to help pay, then I think that changes things a bit. I think it would be ok to approach her, but I would have your fiance do it since it's their parents. Maybe put together a list of costs and have your fiance sit down with them and see if they would like to choose certain items to pay for.

Even if she's offered in the past, I'm not sure it's a good idea to approach her for money. I feel like if she wanted to help, she would. You know her better though, OP. I do agree if you're going to go this route, have your FI do it. Also even if she commits, I would not absolutely count on the funds until it's in your hands.