I need unbiased advice… difficult FMIL strikes again. FMIL has been a massive pain throughout the entire wedding planning process. She has repeatedly tried to manipulate us into making choices about our wedding that we wouldn’t otherwise despite the fact that she hasnt contributed anything to our wedding. She offered us a large amount of money when we first got engaged which we were grateful for. We initially did not plan on asking for any money - it was OFFERED as a gift. Flash forward 8 months, and we ask her about the money. Of course, she is acting uncomfortable and cagey…we wait a few more months and ask again. This time, a month out from our wedding, she finally admits to not having the money. She has spent it all. I had my suspicions, so thankfully we never budgeted that money towards our wedding and all is well…I just feel so badly for FH because he is so hurt and disappointed by her actions. She is hardly apologetic. She says she is sorry to us, but calls other family members attempting to minimize and justify what she has done. None of them are on her side. Despite all of this, I decided NOT to rescind my offer for her to have hair and makeup done on the wedding day with myself and my mother (I even paid for her)…mostly because I don’t want to hurt my FH by excluding his mom and…well, I’m not a vindictive person so I decided to let this go…
Which leads me to this past weekend, when all the crap she’s been talking about me behind my back finally got back to me. I knew in my heart she was bad mouthing me, because she bad mouths my SIL non stop and has done this in front of me as long as FH and I have been together. But to actually get confirmation of all the cruel things that she has been saying about me makes me feel physically ill. I already wanted to tell her she cannot get ready with us but now I feel 1000% justified. FH and I talked about it and he understands and agrees with me but is still hurt by the situation. Am I justified in telling her to get ready alone on the day? I just DONT need the added stress from her, the slick comments, the judgment and just all around her putting everybody else in a bad mood. I also don’t feel it’s right for me to have to pose for photos with her, smiling and carrying on like everything is okay when I know the horrible things she says about me
