True or False: I’ve argued with my parents or in-laws about the wedding

False...we never really discussed anything with them. We were paying, so it was whatever we wanted. No advice from the peanut gallery was necessary!

False. No real arguments. FHs parents are totally chill (and FH has been married before), and just want us to be happy and do what we want. My mom is gone, and dad is in poor health. The only thing he said to me when I told him of our engagement: "so, you're going to buckle under to the pressure of the wedding industrial complex, huh?" LOL my dad is so funny sometimes. He's just afraid of us wasting a bunch of money on what he considers "a totally unnecessary event." When I told him I don't think it's unnecessary, and it's something I really want, he was like, "ok then." He just wants me to be happy. He knows we are paying for it ourselves, and so will not interfere.

View Quoted Comment

Makes sense!!! That's awesome!

View Quoted Comment

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this! Your wedding day will be here before you know it and the stress will be over

FALSE! Everyone's stayed out of my way lol

False, so far. I think i may have an argument coming up soon because my mom doesn't like the cost of the baker of the cake, but I'm in LOVE with her work, and we have underspent in other areas.

FALSE they both want us to have the wedding we want

False, we kept the peace

TRUE!

I am constantly arguing with my mother about catering the wedding. She thinks that we can all contribute and cook the food ourselves (We are having a taco bar) but we will have 250 guests.. Personally I don't want to cook that much food for my wedding, I would much rather get it catered, and so would my FH.

True. However not a full on argument. More like annoyance lol. I like to plan things way in advance. My immediate family does not. So I think I have annoyed them asking about things so early lol!

Not so much arguing. Definitely different opionions/ideas though!

False! Although my mom wanted me to get married closer to her, she is excited to come out and visit us at our new place for the first time. She has mostly just asked what I'm planning on. She is also the one walking me down the aisle, so she helped me figure out what color dress she should wear. My future in-laws are helping us out, but they are both easy going and just enjoy hearing how the wedding plans are going.

View Quoted Comment Omg, good for you standing up and setting those boundaries to keep yourself safe from the nasty comments! Especially since you’re a people pleaser! It sounds like you crafted the right outcome given your circumstances. Serious kudos!

I don’t talk to them about it much but everyone wants the wedding in a diff town. We live all over the country it’s impossible to please everyone.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! It took a lot. Even now I’m hearing problems with “they may not drive 40/45 min to your reception. If you have it at our church I bet everyone will come” I do not want things in a church (especially that one) and that has caused a lot of controversy. I have finally said if they don’t want to drive 45 min for me then don’t come I don’t want you there. It sucks that family has made me feel bad about myself for years so this has been me finally putting my foot down. So I truly appreciate you saying that!! It’s taken a lot for me to do this so to hear someone say good job makes me feel really good!!

False/true
false for me, true for my FH. Fmil wasn’t happy to hear that we are not having a priest wed us. Hopefully she’ll keep that annoyance away from me. 😂

No. We are paying for everything. The details that are already set in stone are non-negotiable and under contract. And I love that we are not depending on either set of parents for money or organization. We don’t need anyone’s help or approval. I’ll gladly go with MOH to look for an outfit. Heck, I don’t care if she wears white. It’s not like people won’t be able to tell who the bride is, but I don’t see her doing that.

True! My mom doesn't always see my vision so we haven't had any terrible arguments, moreso me getting frustrated with her.

True, with my mother. Over silly things too like who I chose for my MOH, what our date is, and who is getting ready with me, which is just frustrating... She flat out got mad at me when I said I wanted my cousin as my bridesmaid instead of my MOH and once we decide not to have a wedding party at all (too much drama) she invited her to get ready with me.... My mom won't even be there to get ready with me so apparently that gave her the right to invite my cousin to "take her place" the morning of.

My fiancé mom and I butt heads a lot. They seem to forget who the wedding is about. Keep wanting to add more people even after giving them a cap