Trying not to be bummed 🙁

I know this wedding is about FH and I, the joining of our lives, spending together forever as husband and wife.
But there's a lot that goes into planning a celebration of this magnitude. From the dress to the venue to who all you want present to share in your special day.

With that being said, I'm really struggling with our RSVP responses. I know its dumb but here's a little back story on myself

I'm use to disappointment. Any event I try to plan, the attendances becomes a disaster. When I graduated high school, the grad party I hosted only had 12 people in show up (9 of those were my family). For an award ceramony and reception (think Boy Scout Eagle level award type of honor) I had 19 people (12 were family). I co-hosted a fundraiser for my school program and together we didn't even hit 30 people!
There's many more examples I could give but you get the point.

Back to the guest list. There are many, many people who have been waiting for FH and I to get married. For a long, long time! We've been dating for 6.5 years, friends for 14.5 and many people knew it wasn't a matter of if but when we'd marry.

I know I'm rambling and being a mopey zoo lion but the point I'm trying to get at is with sooo many people waiting for so long for this wedding I'm struggling to accept that out of 189 invitees we're only at 81 acceptance (and 4 maybes)