Trying to plan a wedding and my mom has cancer!

View Quoted Comment I think you are doing the best you can right now. Stay positive!! Life is funny and scary sometimes and you can look past the cancer and realize none of us know when or where the end will be. My mother is notorious for saying " nobody gets out of life alive"
Deep breaths, pray often, and keep your mom involved in your everyday. You are her only daughter and I am sure she will fight everyday just to make it one step closer to the day and hopefully beyond. If she gets to a point that her fighting seems to be too much, forgive her tell her you love her and tell her it's ok. I think out of every time I ever questioned if my FH loved me I found the answer the day before my father passed when he booked a flight ( without telling me) boarded a plane with me to flordia and gave me just 3 more hours with my dad I wouldn't have had. I have 2 sisters ( neither were financially able to make the trip and without my FH I wouldn't have been able either) he went with me, hugged me as I cried, and let me fall apart so i could pick myself up and put myself back together. And never once complained he just stood by me and was my rock through it all. While the rest of my family was fighting over who would foot the bill for dads final arrangements, he picked up the phone and paid the bill. Sometimes in the worst moments of our lives we find out we are truly the luckiest most blessed.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My thoughts are with you and your family.


My FH and I learned that his father has stage 3 lung cancer just two months ago, with our wedding in September. It can be hard and overwhelming to try to plan for the future (especially when weddings are about so much more past the actual ceremony) but it’s good to stay positive. Like others have said, include her in planning both to keep spirits up and to make memories that are about celebrating the wedding rather than worrying about it. Try your best to keep planning as you normally would and enjoy your time together. Please don’t feel guilty about any excitement, your mom would want your wedding to be a happy thing for you.

I’m sorry this is so tough and I wish you and your mom the best.

I have no words of advice besides what others have already said. Involve your mom in what she is comfortable doing and cherish these special memories you are making with her.

My mom had stage three breast cancer. It was hard to see her go through it and it was definitely a tough time, but we got through it and she is totally fine now! I hope your mom will be okay just like mine! I wasn’t planning my wedding during that time but I’m sure it’s hard. But please try to remind yourself that it makes your mom happy to see you happy. So try not to feel guilty that you are happy about your wedding because it will actually help make her feel better to see you that way!

I'm going through this myself. My FH and I got engaged in Jan and my mom was diagnosed in April. She's stage 3 uterine cancer. It has changed the planning in many ways but has also been helpful to me and my family on harder days because it gives us something positive to think of. Minor ways it's changed: location and timeline for wedding showers, events, her outfit and beauty for all events, etc. the biggest way it has changed is the stress. It's been a while since your post... any updates?

I understand what everyone is saying but I honestly would postpone it until your mom gets well. You could still plan but at the end of the day you would be much better inside if she was there versus not being there.

View Quoted Comment We actually had the wedding and my mom is not 3 years cancer free! But thank you for your response!

View Quoted Comment We actually had the wedding and my mom is now 3 years cancer free! But thank you for your response!

I am going through this right now. Wedding is planned for July of next year and just found out today that my moms cancer is back.


She has been in (miraculous) remission for 12 years from stage 4 ovarian cancer.
I feel so guilty planning or trying to “do me” but at the same time this is a time that both myself and my fiancée deserve to enjoy. This is supposed to be the happiest time of our new lives together.
I haven’t told my fiancé yet about my mom. I only found out about an hour ago and I have no idea what to do.
Part of me feels like the worst person on earth for thinking “why me?” And why can’t I get my big day with no dark cloud. And then I realize how selfish that is. I don’t know. I am all over the place. Confused. Angry. Grieving..

This is such a heart-breaking news. Hoping for a speedy recovery.