Unable to have the wedding I've always wanted but, marrying the man I love ?...

One of my dear friends planned a beautiful wedding in four months. The bride and groom had their closest family and friends present for their special day.

I'm not sure what your vision is, but you can absolutely have a special celebration without hundreds of guests.

It sounds like you are ready to get and be married and that's what's important.

One of my friends was in your exact situation a few years ago. She was able to plan a destination wedding for 75 people for 5K in under four months before her husband left for service to Afghanistan. It can be done!

Could you have a city hall wedding with immediate family present and a vow renewal a few years later? You can still dress up, hire a photographer, and treat everybody present to a meal at a nice restaurant after.

You can most def do a courthouse marriage and then do a wedding later. Plan and save up for what you want

My colleague planned her wedding in 3 weeks. It was 20 people, and the reception was at a restaurant.

My cousin had 30 people at his wedding, and it was a weekday brunch to save on costs.

What makes a wedding real is that the ceremony takes place. I understand that you had a "traditional" wedding in mind, but it sounds like you have to either adjust your expectations or wait until a later date (and risk your parents not being there, as you mentioned they have health issues).

I agree with Jennifer!

It is not uncommon among my military friends to have 2 different anniversaries. Deployment and training schedules don't always allow for the time required to plan a larger event. Many of my friends have done a quick legal ceremony to get the paperwork done (and more important the military support in place) before a deployment or move and have done a large wedding/vow renewal with family and friends at a later date. I just had a friend who left the navy while her (now husband) stayed on active duty. They did a civil ceremony with family only right before she left active duty and just did a large catholic blessing and reception a few months ago (about a year apart).

There are also some great posts above about planning something on short notice.

(Not to be negative, but depending on what career path he goes into after boot camp, it could, worst case, be up to 2 years before he is actually going to be able to take significant time off. During this time period he may have to move several times for schools and to his first assignment. If you are not married, you may not get to live together, may not be able to get easy access to the base, and you will not have any of the benefits or support associated with being a Navy spouse).

It may not be ideal, but after my brother joined the marines he and his gf got engaged and planned a wedding in 10 days. She had bought a dress on sale long before that, but they had a lovely small wedding with the reception at a restaurant. It was incredibly special. My other brother and his fiancé planned a wedding in 6 weeks and it was also beautiful. They kept the guest list small and did it on a Sunday afternoon. It was very affordable and special. I think you can have a ceremony with your family present in that amount of time without issue. Start working on it!

You can definitely have family there if it's important to you, without doing the whole big party. You can also still dress up to get married at city hall and then treat everyone out to lunch afterwards! It's not the same as a big wedding, but it'd likely still be very meaningful. As others said, you could absolutely do a vow renewal then in the future if you want the whole big party - I'm sure everyone in your circles would understand.

We opted for small destination wedding with just immediate family and although we did plan it over 6 months, we easily could have planned it in 3!

We do beautiful weddings like this all the time,and it's completely possible. A small group, a restaurant, flowers, and off the rack dress; even a photographer for a couple of hours.

And realize that there are many great alternatives to city halls, which are pretty bleak except for NYC and SF....

Life doesn't always unfold as we expect, and the important thing is the marriage, not the wedding.

You can definitely have a nice wedding in less than 4 months. There is an organization called Brides Across America which helps military brides find free dresses. Here is their website:

http://www.bridesacrossamerica.com/

How about a beach wedding in October since you are in Florida (I think)? Order flowers from Sam's Club or Costco, or even your local grocery store, and get your cake from them also. Or if you have a Publix in your area, I hear they have amazing cakes.

You can do this, just be positive and start planning now. I planned a wedding in 5 months the first time I got married, and it was beautiful.

ETA: They are having a giveaway next month for dresses, so go online to their website today and register!

Just because it's not a huge wedding doesn't mean it can't be a beautiful wedding. Take some time to research small venues or restaurants that will allow you to rent a room. Have only your nearest and dearest there.

Many restaurants will let you do private rooms with fixed price set menus for larger groups - you could host a lovely dinner at a set price per head, and ask a friend or officiant to perform the ceremony at the restaurant. Private, intimate, delicious, and budget friendly!

Or, for a totally different vibe, I know a lot of restaurants in DC will do the same thing for brunch, but include bottomless mimosas/drinks with brunch for ~$30 per person. A bottomless brunch wedding in a private room would be so fun, if that's something you'd enjoy!

I planned a wedding in less than 4 months for 130 people complete with dinner etc. I say you can get married before November AND have the wedding of your dreams

You shouldn't get married just because he enlisted. Is this something you want to do? Is this something you will regret rushing into and ultimately resent him for?

I agree with the small wedding idea as well. One of my friends did a Tiny wedding (there are planners who specialize in them) with less than 10 people there (including the couple, their daughter and officiant).

Hopefully the two of you can compromise and both get what you want. Good luck!

Jess, this sentence jumped out at me, "He didn't want it to be like this either but he decided he wanted to marry me AFTER he decided to join." Those are two big decisions he made; now you've got some decisions to make.

If you feel at all pressured, then you have the right to tell him that you aren't going to break the engagement, but you're not comfortable rushing a wedding. If you are sure you want to get married in November, there are certainly viable ways to do it.

Celia mentioned the restaurant route. My son and FDIL, two weeks ago, secured a private room with a private entrance and private restroom facilities at a very well reviewed restaurant for their September ceremony and reception. If they'd kept the guest list at 25 instead of 55, and chose a different menu with fewer options, they could have spent half of what they're spending, but they're still saving quite a bit compared to the local cost of hosting a conventional wedding reception (and the timing would be have been impossible). She's wearing a gown, he's wearing a tux, they're having flowers, an open bar (and to save money, you could do beer and wine only), a cake, and an officiant. It will look and feel like a real wedding because it is a real wedding. My point is that it is doable. There are lots of options once go decided to go this route (i.e., Sunday brunch -- very economical -- is something to consider).

If you can give us an idea of how much money you could possibly save by November (and remember, this is only if you are absolutely positive that you aren't feeling pressure to commit to his time table), we could help you with the details.

We are also planning a wedding in under 5 months. I'm actually ahead of schedule. We kept our attendee list small and subsequently kept the cost down.

@Rachel makes a good point on a lot of levels. If it's not what you want, wait.