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Beginner February 2022

Unemployed & Uninterested…

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Chelsee, on July 8, 2021 at 9:08 PM

My fiancé and I have been together 2 1/2 years and he proposed Thanksgiving of last year! Honestly it’s been Great but now I need unbiased advice!

When we met we were both young, kidless, non-stop workaholics & me also as freelance artist just waiting on the right person to come along. We connected and learned that we had so much in common that it was scary! We’ve had our ups and downs but nothing terrible. He lost his job the beginning of last year but thankfully he had already moved in with me. He went out and started applying and working wherever he could after that to help take care of us because we were planning to move so I could attend school. Boom, COVID showed up and of course we are in a frantic like the rest of the world. I was furloughed but we worked it out so I could still be able to go to school and he found a job when we relocated. He knew I had worked to save for my out of pocket payments and he literally told me to just focus on school, care for the house and he would take care of everything else (A HUGE adjustment for the independent/workaholic I am) So Thanksgiving he proposed! WOW, I mean he’s already shown that he’s willing and able to care for me (we’re 25)
Fast forward to 2021, he suffers an injury that puts him out of commission for about 8 weeks. So of course that means he’s out of work. So now a freshly graduated unemployed woman and an injured unemployed man, but hey that’s nothing compared to what others endured. Just totally opposite than what were used to our lives being. Now my freelance business has turned into my career and I’m working full time and making more money than ever! And he’s still unemployed. But when I bring up jobs/working he says he doesn’t want to work for anyone anymore and wants to start his business. So now I’m uneasy because I understand we’ve had some rough times but now that the numbers are down and jobs are hiring I think it’s a perfect opportunity to find a career and work! I mean we’re you g and worked since we were 16 I don’t know if this pandemic has made him lazy but it’s not the work ethic he had when we were dating. So now that we’re both home all day every day for the past 5 months it’s caused use to have more disagreements and I hate it. I try to be as understanding as I can but I don’t get this one. We argue over the pettiest things and even wedding planning was awful because he has so much time on his hands he’s planning it as if he’s the bride. We have no space or time to miss each other. He’s constantly planning dates/trips and I’m grateful but I’m not happy to do those things when that’s money being mismanaged. I ask him about working and it’s always a fight or “he has money saved for the rest of the year”. At this rate I won’t make it until then. We get married in 7 months or so and I feel as if this is a totally different person than I met 3 years ago and I’m not sure what to do being that we’ve already invested thousands but I can’t move forward if he refuses to work….. please help….

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23 Comments

Beginner February 2022
Chelsee · on July 9, 2021 at 7:08 PM
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I promise I really appreciate it! ❤️❤️❤️
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on July 9, 2021 at 7:35 PM
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"I understand cooking, cleaning and taking care of the home is not a man’s natural string suite"
It is just as much a man's natural strong suit as it is a woman's natural strong suit. Women aren't biologically better equipped to do housework. They're just more often socialized to do the housework. Are you saying he's not working and also not taking care of the house?
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Super July 2020
Cool · on July 9, 2021 at 7:51 PM
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This!!! As a woman who hates and is terrible at cleaning, organizing and other “housework” I can attest to this. It’s narratives like that which allow men/people to use as a cop out to not do household chores.
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