Unintentionally ended up planning my own bachelorette

Ummm.. Who cares if you planned it? Fiances brother was involved in the planning of his bachelor party and booked everything including there air B&B house under his name.

My sister (MOH) planned my bachelorette party. It was really just me and her texting back and forth making plans and me telling her what I want. Everyone, all 6 bridesmaids, had a great time and I was happy to be involved. It got a little stressful planning the details like transportation and dinner reservations but it all worked out. Give yourself a break, the etiquette police are not real. lol

Do not beat yourself up over it. Life happens. My MOH literally said- tell me exactly what you want to do and I’ll make it happen. So I essentially am planning my own without making any of the arrangements. It’s not worth the additional stress that you’re putting on yourself. Try to just have fun and roll with it.

Your planning it is not the kind of planning your own bach that I think people have a problem with. You helped your girls cause things just got messy. It's not like you said "I want to go on a week long bach to the most expensive place and we are doing this because I said so!!"

Who cares if people are judging you? I’m not. Etiquette can suck a d.

It doesn’t actually sound like you’re PLANNING the party, you’re just handling the actually bookings. There’s nothing to be stressed about as long as all your girls are on board. You’re not doing anything wrong.

It's fine! My MOH did a really good job handling things for my bachelorette but I kinda took on stuff like picking a hotel, figuring out who will drive (bachelorette was 3-4 hours away from everyone), and what we will do there. My MOH was finishing her semester of school so I didn't want her spending time researching restaurants and bars plus I knew everyone's financial situation so I was able to find a budget friendly hotel and reasonable bars and restaurants. No one was offended that I was clearly involved.

Thank you ladies for your comforting words. I really needed to hear it. Hopefully, my guests and planners won't be annoyed and will feel the same way as you guys!

So we're about two weeks out now. One of my friends (the same one this whole time) has been helping me but the others didn't. Every time I set something up and tell the others "I've booked or set up xyz," I hear the words "you're not supposed to plan your own bachelorette" or "you're a control freak" or my fiance saying "you need to let it go. Just let them do it."

My fiance and I spent our evening researching rental cars and I got so stressed out, I started crying. My fiance has now agreed I can't rely on my friends. I told my one friend helping I want to just tell the other girls we are doing the rest of it from now on because waiting for people to do what they said they would do only to find out way later nobody did it, is too stressful. She agrees to have it be us two.

I do tell them. One of my friends said she felt really bad when I told her how I felt. She said she knows she said she'd be in charge but she kept waiting on the others to agree x or y was a good idea instead of taking charge and ultimately just put it off. My other friend basically said she's a follower and even though she told me two weeks ago, she would help, she was waiting for direction from others. And nobody gave her any so she didn't do anything. They did offer to help again now but I said at this point, waiting for others to help when they say they will actually cause more stress than just doing it myself.

Then I cried some more. So I've actually spent more days crying while planning the bachelorette than there are days of my bachelorette. (Obviously when I get stressed out, I cry.)

If this were a local event and everyone were local, I'd just cancel. At this point, everyone has bought a non-refundable flight so there's no backing out. I feel obligated to make the party as close to what my friends promised them as possible. It's in my nature to accommodate to others and I've already agreed to things or offered to make the attendees more comfortable already so this is just another stressful party to host. I feel trapped at this point though.

I think I'm going to go throw up now. It's a change from crying at least.