Uninvited guests

View Quoted Comment Im going to agree with this one...especially since it sounds like it was just a hook up. I have more than one ex invited to my wedding. We stayed friends and the past is in the past. Please dont be that jealous girl that wont let her bridesmaid have a date just because you dont like her date.

View Quoted Comment I just wouldn’t let her invite him. It’s not worth the trouble to be honest. You have the say here not her, so if it makes you uncomfortable just tell her no.

View Quoted Comment

It's up to you and your husband to be. Even if you are comfortable with the guy there, your future husband also has to be since you were involved with the guy in question.

The most important question is how would it make your FH feel? I get the people saying it's childish, be an adult etc, but we all know that some guys (most guys) wouldnt want your ex there. The circumstances the two people who are minimizing your and your FH feelings are describing are different from yours. You're not all friends and you're not ok with it more importantlyneither is your FH. It's big enough of you to still be her friend and have her in your wedding.

It’s your day and your FH to enjoy! If you don’t feel comfortable with him there just let her know to please not bring him.

If she is your bridesmaid, and you’re ok with someone that close to you dating this person, but not with this person attending your wedding then I’m confused. If it were that uncomfortable why is someone so close to you even with them?

Ummm. Ew! I never understand women who want to be with a guy who has been with a friend/ family member. 🤢
Even putting the gross factor aside, out of respect for your future husband the guy should not be at your wedding.

View Quoted Comment I agree with both of you 100%.

View Quoted Comment I was thinking the SAME thing. You’re getting married to someone else. Who cares? You should be long over it by now. Girl code doesn’t apply when you’re out of high school.

This is so ridiculous. Of course you invite him. They're in a relationship.

The whole "girl code" thing is absurd. You casually hooked up. You don't own the guy and now you're marrying someone else!! What does it matter that she wants to date him now? Unless you still like the guy (which I'm guessing you don't since you're marrying someone else) I don't get why this would bother you...

I guess it would depend on how you feel towards him. Like if he’s your least favorite person and you never want to talk to him again I’d say stand your ground but if it was kind of something that didn’t last and you’ve both moved on I’d probably just invite him.

She is your Bridesmaid, so she is your friend.

And someone that you hooked up with in the past must have some good qualities or you wouldn't have gone there. Maybe they will be great together, he just wasn't the one for you.

I don't see the problem.

You are completely within your rights to tell her not bring him.

Whoa! My first response was "what the world, heck no", but we need more context lol. Does the 'maid know you two have 'a past', is that 'past' in anyway harmful to your FH and your relationship, and how do you generally feel about the person she's bringing along. Besides getting married, your top priority is ensuring you and your FH's sanity, serenity, and safety on that day. If her guests presence in I'll interfere with any of those things, then no, the 'maids guest can't come. If she has a problem with that, then she can get to stepping as well. You two (you and the maid) can work out your relationship AFTER the wedding.

Depends on how I felt about the person I had a past with. If I didn't have any negative feelings about them, or things ended well, AND I had room to give her a plus one, sure. However the likelihood of all of those being true are slim and I'd tell her that it would make me uncomfortable and why, then recommend someone else that I know she's friends with who could be her date.

View Quoted Comment Yes. This. I dated a guy for a short amount of time that I just didn't click with. When my friend asked about him, I happily told her to go for it. He was a super decent guy, and she needed a decent dude. Just because he wasnt for me, didnt mean they wouldn't click. I was super happy to see them happy together with zero awkwardness.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely have to agree with Kelly. Unless there was abuse or stalkers behavior, I'm happy to see a friend happy!

I appreciate all of your answers. Just to add more background information. It was just a hookup. However, we had been talking and once he finally got what he wanted, he ghosted me. Obviously hurting my feelings a bit. My bridesmaid is well aware of this situation. I am 100% not jealous or still have feelings for him. I am very happy and in love with my FH. It’s not only me that feels awkward having him at my wedding but also my FH.

If a friend of mine wanted to bring my ex to my wedding, both the ex AND my "friend" would be disinvited.

If you gave her a plus one, you don't get to dictate who that plus one is. If you didn't and she's asking you to add him, I don't think you need to do that.

Also, the fact that you dated would not be a big deal to me. She can date whoever she wants and you're getting married to someone else. I don't see why that's a big deal.