Uninvited kids at the ceremony

View Quoted Comment Ah I see! It’s hard to tell on here.

View Quoted Comment I understand completely! I was just trying to give a perspective of where she may be coming from, then Judith the mom shammer showed up.



You guys do what you have to, I hope they still choose to come. Good luck!

New update:

Apparently they went to their pediatrician and together came up with the conclusion that leaving her with someone she didn’t know (the babysitter) would make her feel abandoned and would psychologically traumatize her. So they are not willing to come here and leave her with the babysitter for 20 minutes.

Im shocked that a doctor would say this, I feel like I’ve got a good understand of child development especially since that’s what I received my Masters Degree in.

Seeing as how they're traveling from out of state I would allow the exemption for them. Some parents aren't comfortable leaving their babies with others and that's their parenting choice. I'd be more ticked off at them being rude about it. This should have been a polite discussion between all of ya'll not a battle of wills, which is sad for family to have.

View Quoted Comment They have an exception. They’re bringing her when we’ve asked for no kids. We kindly asked them to not have her at the ceremony. If they aren’t comfortable with the babysitter that we’d pay for than his wife can sit with her in the reception area. They’re making it a personal matter by taking it as a personal attack on their family, that wasn’t our intention. I have 3 cousins who I’m very close to who have babies younger than my niece who are not invited, they’re not telling us that they won’t be coming if their kids aren’t there. They’re respecting our wishes and making other arrangements. One family’s also coming from another part of the state. It’s a destination wedding for everyone. My BIL is not the only one coming from somewhere other than home. We just want a crying-baby free ceremony that’s going to last all of 20 minutes. His brothers a groomsmen, he’s being utterly selfish and is going to really squash any chance of relationship going forward.

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Yeah, I get it. I think you're overreacting a little but I do understand wanting to avoid distractions. It's possible that they practice attachment parenting. Its possible the baby is still breastfed (mine were almost exclusively still at 10 months old). I think part of being a good hostess is taking individual situations into consideration. Would your FSIL be comfortable sitting in the reception area all alone? My guess is not, and that's not really a good thing to request of a guest regardless of situation. Chances are there IS going to be a relationship going forward between your FH and his brother, even if things are strained now. Gotta ask yourself, is this the hill you're willing to die on? Is it worth possible strained Christmases, funerals, etc etc? My guess is it's not.

Wow, I genuinely can't believe they're putting you in that position. A lot of stuff on here I try to see the other side of, but it sounds like you're being extremely accommodating. If they're being that ridiculous, I definitely would stand my ground. I don't even have any advice, you're 100% in the right and have done all you can with what you've offered, the ball's in their court: attend on your terms or don't attend at all. If this is something that upsetting to them, I wouldn't worry much about the relationship, they sound like the kind of people who cause drama fast and then move on to the next upsetting thing fast.

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This sounds fake. I come from a...fun, family, sounds like they might be "fun" too. If someone told me that, I'd 100% expect they went to the pediatrician, complained, and the doc nodded their head and said "uh huh, yeah, sureee..".