Uninvited Kids

No but i'm afraid people will do this.

Which brings me to my usual point of why tf people even wanna bring kids to a wedding.

Doesn't feel like paying a sitter? Then she shouldn't go. I feel for you. People just don't get etiquette.

I'm only allowing the kids in the wedding and my 2 nieces and 3 nephews

Why not tell your sister that that is not ok?

I wonder if some people don't hear how rude they sound when they say things. I'm team no kids and the parents will be asked to leave because I DON'T HAVE SPOTS FOR THEM AVAILABLE. Like I made a seating chart, paid each vendor per person, etc. This is not a football party it's a planned wedding. I say squash it now and don't let this go any further.

I had people RSVP 5 and 6 people when only 2 or 3 were invited! People don't get etiquette anymore, because it's not taught. If you get a wedding invite, the only ones invited are the persons addressed on the envelope, unless it's to only one person, then you get a plus one (adult). If you want more, you need to ask.

My advice: Clearly spell it out if you do not want children there, or any other guidelines you may have. Some people, sadly, just won't get it on their own.

See the issue is- I feel you can't include some kids and not others. But I also don't think there's any reason for kids to be in the wedding party. But your relative wants to bring her kid, but just say you can't accommodate the child. If she can't understand that she will be missed

I just didn't understand a guest family or not basically saying to hell with what the bride and groom want and bring kids anyway! There's no kids in the wedding party and the only kid there will be my 14yr old daughter. I think my nieces mindset is that if she shows up with her 5yr old that no one will turn her away so why not. I'm going to speak to her again and my mother said she will also say something (most folks will listen to grandma lol)

I'd tell your DOC to keep her eyes peeled and if she shows up with her child have the DOC kindly inform her that there is no additional space or food. A five year old would need their own chair and food so she'd probably take the hint.

I don't think it's wrong to only have the children that are in your wedding. I think it's a bit silly for parents to always assume their child will be accommodated at every event.

I disagree @Cassidy. I don't think it's all kids or no kids. I'd understand inviting some cousins and not others or something. But I do think you should be able to have your WP kids and any immediate family kids without getting flack from other guests.

In my family it's definitely all or nothing. The people who bring kids because they don't want to pay a sitter, should just decline.

And since Stephanie S is my sister/ she gets it. Lol

I would try to bring it up casually? I am not sure. I think if they know.. there is no excuse.

Why didn't you just remind your sister that that's not an option? It's October...why is "she might not have a sitter" even a valid argument for an event that's scheduled in April?

Its ok to tell them its NOT ok. I hate when people think their children are automatically invited and its cute to have them tehre.

We had a ton of people RSVP their kids that weren't invited. It was super annoying. One rsvp'd their 4 kids (6 ppl total), and gave us homemade soap as a gift. That I was allergic to. So glad your family got a free $200 meal bud! It's so rude but people do it....

What @Chelsey said. Tell them no kids and stand by it. If you feel you must have them there, offer to pay for a sitter.

But honestly, if you can't afford a sitter, you can't afford to go out. That's the choice you made when you decided to procreate. (Same as how if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford the meal.)

Uh, Angelica, NO as to "unless it's to only one person, then you get a plus one (adult). " Plus ones should never be assumed. If you are engaged or married, hostess should invite both of you by name. We can argue all day long about SOs, but NO, you do not get to bring a random plus one.

Yuuuusss Richard, yuuussssss.

Sorry your dealing with this. I think you should nip it in the bud and just contact her and let her know your sorry but unfortunately you cannot have her little ones. It's best to be direct rather than not saying anything and her doing it anyway