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Sutina
Savvy July 2020

Uninviting guests

Sutina, on May 19, 2020 at 3:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 4 14

We are moving forward with our wedding in July and will need to significantly decrease the guest count to maintain health and safety of our immediate older family members. We obviously don't want to have to cut anyone, but we will have to.

What's a good way to word a message to friends and extended family that we need to cut down and it's not because we don't want them there.


Thank you,

14 Comments

Latest activity by Sutina, on May 21, 2020 at 4:07 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Did you send save the dates? If not, there's nothing to really notify them of. If you have sent save the dates, I would strongly consider broadcasting your ceremony over Zoom (Skype, whatever service you prefer,) so that extended family and friends can participate. I would send postcards that say something like, "Unfortunately, we must reconfigure our guest list to meet state requirements and ensure the safety of our loved ones. This means that we will only be able to accommodate our immediate families at our intimate ceremony. We hope that you will still witness our ceremony via __. We understand and share in your disappointment."

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  • Sutina
    Savvy July 2020
    Sutina ·
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    Thanks! since it is a holiday weekend July4th, the invitations were actually sent a while ago before COVID shut downs. We have received more RSVPs back than we can safely accommodate with the guidelines. I am definitely hoping to do Zoom or Facebook live etc.


    Thank you for the advice!

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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Dear (name),


    In the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, we regret to inform you that we will need to limit our guests to family/to 30. Please join us in spirit by attending our virtually to our ceremony here _____. We wish it were different, thank you for your understanding.
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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Also I found this helpful article, I’m trying to think of things to say because we likely need to downsize.


    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-uninvite-wedding-guests-coronavirus_l_5ebc23a3c5b68d904b34c862/amp
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  • Leanne
    Super September 2020
    Leanne ·
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    I love what Michelle suggested! I would turn it into a positive, by wording it “we invite you to attend virtually” or something like that.
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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    I would say family only (rather than limit to 30). Don't make them feel like you're choosing other friends over them. Everyone understands family only. Not everyone understands "friends who are closer to us than you."


    But I love inviting them to attend virtually.

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  • Jess
    Savvy June 2020
    Jess ·
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    I have been thinking the same thing. Our wedding is mostly family anyway, but there are few friends we invited and I’m skeptical about them coming because there is one from out of state. I hate to have to uninvite them, but my grandmother and my FH grandmother will be there and I don’t want to take a chance with them. I’m 24 days away and I need to go ahead and make the call it’s just hard.
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  • Sutina
    Savvy July 2020
    Sutina ·
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    Thank you! I really like that and thanks for the article. Going to try and call people this weekend Smiley sad

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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    I really like this wording because it still sounds joyous and inviting. The great thing is that guests will totally understand and, in the current circumstances, it’s not viewed as being tacky or lacking etiquette to uninvite guests.


    We have no plans to postpone unless our venue cancels on us. Thankfully we’re already having a smaller wedding and only invited 65 guests. So depending on what the guidelines are by then, we might have to send similar notices.
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  • Kendra
    Beginner November 2020
    Kendra ·
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    Hello beautiful, I w ok uldnt cut down my guest because I think you will be fine. I'll hold off til the end of this month beginning of next to what the guidelines are. As I have a wedding to attend on June 20 but they didn't have to cut down their guest or anything as we(the Bride and I) have been in communication with the venue and they don't have any stipulations on weddings just yet. I'll definitely play it by ear before making any drastic changes
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  • Sutina
    Savvy July 2020
    Sutina ·
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    We have 72 RSVP as coming, We will need to cut down to 30ish since NY will not likely be ready for a gathering of 70+

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  • Michelle
    Devoted November 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I had friends that had to downsize their wedding to under 10 people. This is part of the email they sent.


    "We have heard from the church and they are able to proceed with the sacrament of marriage on May 2, 2020; however, due to the current situation we can only proceed with minimum guests. This breaks our hearts to not share this with all of our loved ones. Unfortunately, it seems like the re-opening of the world will be a slow and cautious process and we are unsure when we will be able to hold a wedding and reception as originally planned. Again we truly hope you understand and respect our decision. It was a very difficult decision to make and we hope you know how much each one of you mean to us and how much we appreciate all you do."

    The email then went on to say they looked forward to celebrating with them next year.

    Everyone understands this is the reality we are currently living in.

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  • Erica
    Dedicated November 2021
    Erica ·
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    I'm also a July bride (12) and will most likely have to cut back... I've already postponed once and postponing again is not an option.

    I like all the suggestions above -

    It is heartbreaking trying to figure out who exactly will be cut though.... I guess family comes first no matter how close friends are????

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  • Sutina
    Savvy July 2020
    Sutina ·
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    I'm torn because some family are not close at all and should not have to come before close friends or mentors that have been more supportive in life. Obviously our immediate family is very important to us first and they are not going to be cut.

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