Unity Ceremony Alternatives

I'm getting married.

Many of my couples choose to include a more visual representation of unity, especially if there are children involved in the ceremony. I'm not a giant fan of vows to kids/from kids, but sand, glass, beads, candles are a meaningful, concrete way to show family unity as well as couple unity.

Yes, of course the wedding ceremony has unity elements, but what the fuck....really...worse atrocities have been visited on wedding ceremonies that creating a momento.

I personally love the candle ceremony

We drank wine during the ceremony (we combined red and white wine to represent coming together to make something greater and new (if you like roses lol) while still keeping our individuality). It was fantastic. It also fit in with the fact that we got married at a winery.

ETA: Added the photo of actually drinking wine. Because. Wine.

@Lindsey Yes, indeed! We were going to do a handfasting to go along with the other Celtic nods; but went with glass (because 'I' wanted it.. AND ITS MY DAY... lol)

@Rachel; It was not until about 860 that the Christians used the ring in marriage ceremonies; even then, it was not the simple plain band as we know it. It usually was highly decorated with engraved doves, lyres, or two linked hands. The Church discouraged such rings as ‘heathenish’ and, around the 13th century, wedding and betrothal rings were considerably simplified, and given a more spiritual look which was very aptly expressed by a Bishop when he dubbed it a “symbol of the union of hearts.”... thus it was kinda the first 'Unity Ceremony'

Aren't you glad that this "tradition" has changed... or you'd be wearing a plain band!

@Rachel. I went to catholic boarding school with the nuns and all. Super conservative church. First wedding? Had a unity candle. I'd watch the blanket statements. Nowhere does it say Catholics are against unity ceremonies.

Yes, well cutting open our finger to mix blood is frowned upon if we were going the legit route. God forbid anyone answer with some historical perspective. Everything with some facts and logic is clearly an affront to people's fragile feelings and clearly just meant to show off. This extra stuff like sand and candles, cords, braids, etc, etc etc is just all a bunch of silliness IMO, and that's what was asked for - opinions.

@ Riddle2Be: "Some Catholic parishes prohibit the use of a unity candle, however, because there is no provision for it in the Rite of Marriage. Also, within Catholic liturgies, candles primarily refer to the light of Christ and baptism; the Easter candle, lit at the Easter vigil, is the central candle in the sanctuary. If you would like to have a unity candle, ask your parish whether it is permitted. The unity candle must not be placed on the altar." - http://catholicweddinghelp.com/questions/unity-candle.htm#sthash.XvTdpCrC.dpuf

We're doing the german wedding cup combined with the wine ceremony.

also, unless you're catholic, who gives a shit what the catholic church and pope rachel say is legit and traditional?

You know what's silly.

You.

You are silly.

Margaret - I kind of want to do a slow clap for your comeback.

Anyway, although I won't be doing one, some of my personal favorites are the candle (although you said not that) and the hand fasting that Lindsey mentioned. I second the idea of going to Offbeat bride for some different ideas, they are really great for that.

Unrelated note: when you get a chance, please change your avatar to something other than the double rings which are associated with spam posts. You can't do this on the app, but when you are on a PC, go to...Settings > Profile and Privacy Settings > Account Image > Change Image > Upload > Update Profile Settings.

We are branding our initials into wood to hand on the wall or might even make into a headboard. Having my dad weld the branding iron.

@Rachel, OP didnt ask for opinions. she asked for ideas. You are not having a unity component as part of your ceremony and you dont like them, so clearly you came on this thread just to flaunt your "knowledge of historical context". why TF does it matter if something is traditional if someone wants to have it as part of their wedding? She didnt ask for a history lesson.

OP, we're also doing a handfasting, but using a scarf. we will probably frame the scarf later to display it in our home

We did a wine and chocolate ceremony. And all our guests got to enjoy a chocolate truffle as the exited the ceremony. The wine glasses we will use often.

Oh Rachel... Just... No. I can't.

Let me remind you I did 12 years with the nuns. I don't need you to be quoting doctrine to me. But thanks. And like Niki said, unless you're Catholic, who the hell cares?

Celia, I was under the impression that most unity ceremonies were cultulraly or religiously based, so you kind of knew which one you would do if you were doing it, because it would related directly to your culture or the religion in which you are unifying yourselves under. So, the idea that people just pick one seemed forced to me (even though apparently that is how it is done) - kind of like if I decided I wanted to smash a glass at the end of my ceremony, but DH and I are not fully Jewish. I felt that would be disrespectful, so it didn't seem right to just pick a ceremony you wanted an appropriate it to your situation.

Tis all. t

We did the sand and the only reason we did was for the joining of the family. We all had our own color of sand and poured it together to show the joining of the two families. If it was just the two of us? Probably wouldn't have done anything.

We were at a catholic wedding and the mothers lite the two side candles and then when the couple were married the bride and groom used those ones to light the unity candle. Not sure when the law about it came into effect but pretty sure that was a unity ceremony

Hey you guys, this is a forum where everyone is entitled to give their opinions. We need to be nice.

Rachel- What do you fucking care? At the end of the day, they're married, and your opinion is irrelevant. Just stop.

Hey, we have a glass breaking in my house almost every day, and I'm primarily Unitarian.....

Personally? I like 'unity ceremonies' that have some grounding in the couple or couple's history.

Sand is great for people who are beach people or a couple who is wildly different and wants to use the colors of sand to express the layering, but not blending, of their personalities. I married a chocolate sommiler a few years ago; they met at a chocolate tasting, so of course, that made perfect sense. The glass? I just happen to love it, and I can talk about relationships going through fire, being transparent, etc.

"Yes, well cutting open our finger to mix blood is frowned upon if we were going the legit route. God forbid anyone answer with some historical perspective. Everything with some facts and logic is clearly an affront to people's fragile feelings and clearly just meant to show off."

Uhhh... @Rachel!! I quoted a historical reference. It wasn't meant as fluff... it was meant to educate those that think the evolution of "traditions" and other wedding rites are owned by a one specific church or people. They aren't. They evolve. They become part of our cultural fabric. Then they change again. That's what's wonderful about them; or we'd (women) would still be being pretty much sold to the highest bidder (how many head of cattle do we have for Rachel??!!)

Sorry. It feels like Monday.