Anyone have a suggestion for the unity ceremony? Originally, I wanted to do the standard moms light the tapered candles and FH and I use them to light the pillar candle, but I was wondering about maybe doing a family unity ceremony instead. I'm just not sure on the etiquette with it. FH's children are both adults, his son is married (I get to be a grandma to 2 handsome little boys 
) and my daughters are still in elementary school. I really like the family unity puzzle, but do I include my soon to be son's wife in that? We've put a lot of emphasis on her being our kid, too, but if we do that, do we also have to include my soon to be daughter's boyfriend of 4 years?
I want to avoid hurt feelings at all costs. My soon to be daughter in law has been let down by every person in her own family and the relationship I'm building with her has been a "tough road" because she doesn't trust people, and understandably so. I also don't want to offend the boyfriend, he's already a little salty because he asked for our daughter's hand and FH told him they would discuss it after he held a job for 1 year (he starts and stops every few months, and takes about a month off in between each time...so daughter is "taking care of him"...they're young and impulsive still).
Anyway, would you include them all? DiL but not boyfriend? I'm not sure what to do.
