Unpopular Opinions

Open bars aren't "traditional", they are payng to host your own party. I don't drink soda or tea, so should my guests only get water? Are they only allowed to eat what I like? Most reputable venues will not allow BYOB because it's a huge liability for them. If a guest gets wasted serving themselves alcohol, the venue or the couple could be sued. A licensed bartender prevents this and takes the liability. These aren't people being ridiculous, it's pretty basic stuff. The same with having relatives cook food. They aren't licensed caterers and are liable for illnesses that occur. Most venues are not going to take that risk. It's not worth a lawsuit to them to let Uncle George cook and people to drag in coolers and get drunk.

Soda is not necessary. Neither is cake. If there is something offered by you, then it should not cost your guests any money. Nobody should pay to attend your wedding. If you don't want to provide something, don't. Don't ask your guests to pay for it.

I'm also interested in what "age" you think people are that disagree with you, because this group ranges by at least 45-50 years.

Food poisoning can be deadly, and if you think it only happens from "raw meat in your food" that's further proof that you shouldn't be providing food that wasn't cooked by a licensed caterer.

So I don't think some of these things are generational. For context, I'm 30.

I am firmly against cash bars at weddings because the reception is a thank you for your guests... soooo WHY would you have them pay for any portion of it? Your guests should never have to come out of pocket at your wedding. BYOBs/coolers creates liability for you & the venue if people get drunk and then hurt themselves or others. You should have a licensed bartender to ensure no one is overserved.

Directly asking people for money is rude. Just create a small registry and people will give you cash. Plus, those websites take a portion of the gift.

Having family members cook food creates too much liability. If people get sick from Aunt Susie's potato salad that wasn't kept cold you're on the hook for those hospital bills.

Your bridal party is supposed to put on the required outfit and stand up with you. That's it. If they want to participate in your other stuff that's fine but it shouldn't be expected.

Sending thank you notes is a part of basic etiquette. Don't skip this.

You don't throw a party in your own honor.

I tip for everything so I see no reason to change for my wedding. Someone is providing a service, you should tip them.

If a caterer gives you food poisoning, they are responsible for it. They also go through training to prevent this. No family functions have someone cooking and storing food for 150 people with no training to do so. I also do not eat at potlucks for this reason. I'm not eating food that I don't know the origins of. I got very ill with food poisoning before and spent 3 days in the hospital. It's not an issue to take lightly.