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K
Expert September 2018

Unpopular Opinions

Kate, on June 13, 2018 at 9:45 PM

Posted in Community Conversations 62

Sometimes I feel like I think differently from everyone on this app lol maybe it's an age difference or something but there are somethings most of y'all are so adamant about on here and I'm like na Like tipping vendors. If I'm paying 100s or thousands of dollars for their service why should I tip...
Sometimes I feel like I think differently from everyone on this app lol maybe it's an age difference or something but there are somethings most of y'all are so adamant about on here and I'm like na

Like tipping vendors. If I'm paying 100s or thousands of dollars for their service why should I tip them.

Cash bars. I don't drink, I don't care if anyone at my wedding drinks but I don't want to pay for it. Now I'm not having one bc my mother offered to pay for alochol but idc if someone has one. So I also love BYOB -or cooler ideas.

Honeymoon funds. I don't think they're rude. You're already asking for something if you have a registry. Why not just have a honeymoon fund jar at a bridal shower or wedding table rather than getting gifts.

Cake and food. I don't see a problem with having a friend or family memeber cooking if they offered. Saves tons of money lol and they offered

Throw your own bachelorette party if your bridal party can't. It's not a big deal. Take them out to eat or to a bar.

I also thought being in the bridal party meant they should help you with planning stuff. I'm not saying they should find your vendors and stuff. But when I'm in a wedding I expect to help with stuff and want too. Whether that is going to look at flowers or pick out decorations. If the fiancd doesn't want too. Or go to an engagement party. I think that's the point of being in a bridal party. Support and help.

Thank you notes. I don't care to get them if I gave you a gift or give them. They're a waste of time and money if I can personally tell you thank you in person or call/text. I would like a text or phone call more than a note in the mail.

Well this was a random rant. Just didn't know if some on here feel the same way about just not being so darn set in traditional ways and having to do something a certain way
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62 Comments

  • K
    Expert September 2018
    Kate ·
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    Well thank you lol I just feel like so many people jump down a posters throat on something they really want to do for their wedding and can be so negative about it. Especially if the poster didn't even ask about that subject. It's their day. Not yours. They know their guest better than you do. And everyone has their own opinions, that doesn't mean theirs is wrong if you don't agree with it
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  • Jamie
    Devoted August 2018
    Jamie ·
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    Sorry, these aren't "unpopular opinions", but have to do with more of a level of maturity.

    The biggest sign of maturity is considering others feelings/comfort/experience before your own. As well as knowing that small acts of appreciation, even to vendors, can have huge impact.

    Maturity is ageless.
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  • K
    Expert September 2018
    Kate ·
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    I was saying unpopular opinions as in MINE. Not everyone else's. And some of this stuff has nothing to do with maturity. Obviously I'm going to be respectful and greatful for my vendors for helping on my special day. I was just saying I have some unpopular opinions than everyone else.
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  • A
    Dedicated March 2019
    Andrea ·
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    Paying a caterer $5000 and refusing to tip your server is like refusing to tip a server at a restaurant because you paid a lot for your meal. Anyone who helps make the most important day of my life better and easier on me can get a tip. I'm not sure if that makes me "old" or "young" though. OP never specified what "age" thinks this way.

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  • K
    Expert September 2018
    Kate ·
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    I'm not saying throw your own party. A bachlorette party does not have to be only about you. I feel like it's about having fun with your girls before your big day. Saying come out and I'll pay for drinks and dinner isn't throwing your own party.
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  • C
    Dedicated August 2018
    Charma ·
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    Sarah to each it's own. Certain things work for different people rather that be being open about gifts or cash, tipping or venue catered or not. If someone is seeking support for an idea or situatio and they post in any of the forums it doesn't make it a support group. Having others views and feedback can be helpful or hurtful depending on the person. Do what works for you. Sorry but not sorry
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  • Sagan
    Super July 2017
    Sagan ·
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    I really thought this was a troll post. I’m really sad that it isn’t.
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  • Tpatb
    Master August 2019
    Tpatb ·
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    I agree with the bar situation..but my fiancé wants an open bar so we’re doing it. & I don’t see why people get so bent out of shape about honeyfunds either. I also agree with the bridal parties. I was in another group and got a LOT of crap ..even from one of the administrators bc I “thought it was bs that ALL the brides said they ONLY wanted bridesmaids to show support by just simply standing beside them”...like okay, I understand to each his own, but to say you don’t even expect support (doesn’t have to be monetary) is a little much. I’m honestly hoping I don’t forget the thank you cards lol I get why people do it. But, I just believe in tipping people for great service anyway. If no one throws me a party I’m not having one because it isn’t that deep to me to have one. I don’t want my family to cook because I want everything to be perfect to be honest. If something happens I don’t want it to damage relations. But you’re entitled to feel how you want! I wouldn’t care how others feel
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  • Jamie
    Devoted August 2018
    Jamie ·
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    OP is flagging everyone that doesn't agree/validate their post. Wonder what is not being said, who's guidance is being blocked because it isn't agreed with.
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  • Tpatb
    Master August 2019
    Tpatb ·
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    This is my concern with the catering aspect of it al as well! I want everything to run as smoothly as I can & don’t want any bad blood because I or someone else had to sue or take action from someone getting sick lol it’s just going to all end badly on me
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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    But their health insurance companies may.
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  • B
    Expert September 2018
    Brittany ·
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    I agree with the cash bar! I just went to a wedding that was cash bar and we stayed past 10pm with our kids and there were probably still 70 people there when we left! Also the couple liked to drink but still didn’t provide it all night... people are very opionated on this - more different areas I think. We are providing tons to drink all non alcoholic so if you don’t like what we are offering you can buy yourself something else... it’s funny nobody says anything about meal options when there usually is just here’s dinner hope you like it Smiley smile
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  • Kim
    Devoted September 2018
    Kim ·
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    This! It's the same reason teens make us so crazy with their behavior - they're self-absorbed, self-centered and egocentric. And then at some point as they grow and age, a shift occurs, their sphere of awareness changes, and they become aware of the feeling/concerns of others. It happens later for some people than others.

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  • Little Star
    Expert April 2019
    Little Star ·
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    I agree with some of your points to an extent. I don’t have an issue with cash bars or honeyfunds. Personally, those aren’t things I would do but I don’t think it’s rude or the end of the world if you have a cash bar or a honeyfund, especially when you have a low budget. Food and alcohol are usually the most expensive part of a wedding. You should definitely feed people though, no exceptions.

    You should absolutely tip your vendors as they are working hard to provide everything for you on your special day. I agree with the PP that said this is like not tipping a server at a restaurant because you’re paying for the meal. That’s crazy. Staff works hard for their tips and should always be tipped accordingly!
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  • Sara
    Expert October 2018
    Sara ·
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    Still not convinced it's not.
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  • Taylor
    Expert March 2019
    Taylor ·
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    I agree on some of these points. And sometimes people offer a lot of unsolicited advice on here. So you have to know what to take and what to leave. And also at the end of the day, you can do what you want for YOUR wedding with your money. You will never see any of these people on here in your life nor will they be at your wedding. There is NO rule anywhere that says you HAVE to provide alcohol to people. But they will attack you on here if you say you aren’t. Anything you say you’re going to do that goes against their imaginary etiquette book, is frowned upon. It’s sad.
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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
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    Most of this is just basic politeness. People shouldn't be paying for anything at your wedding, should be properly thanked for attending and guests should be guests,not working. You should want to celebrate with them, not have them stuck in a kitchen for the whole time and missing the ceremony because they have to keep an eye on the food. Add to that the liability issues and it's not worth the hassle.

    I'm happy gifting money but I won't contribute to a honeyfund. It's a waste of money, implies you think so little of your guests intelligence that they need to be told money is a good gift and honestly indicates you have poor financial management to opt for something requiring a fee rather than just accepting the standard wedding gift of cash. Even if you think it's fine when you see it on an invitation, clearly not everyone does. People here come from a variety of demographics so it suggests that some of your guests would feel the same. Why deliberately do something your guests would find rude when there is a better alternative (just not registering = receive cash).


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  • Bianca
    Super August 2019
    Bianca ·
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    Omg same lol.

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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
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    Ugh posted early. A honeymoon jar etc at a bridal shower is also considered rude by a lot of people, though at least someone else isn't taking a cut. Again, why do something to offend people when there's a better alternative.

    I would expect your bridal party to behave the same as normal. They don't need to do anything specific for the wedding but just behave exactly as they normally would. If they are usually full on contact, supportive ear etc then awesome but people shouldn't be expected to change just because you're getting married.

    For reference I'm 25
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  • K
    Dedicated June 2018
    Kelli ·
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    I totally agree !
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