Unsupportive family members....dont want the wedding to happen

Congratulations on your engagement. I'm sorry that you're going through this. Honestly, no one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are. I understand why you felt hurt by that comment.

Yep. But probably worse. Had a big blow out fight with my mom this weekend and she admitted that she doesn't like FH and doesn't support us getting married at all. Well we don't need financial support because I was paying for the wedding anyway, but the whole reason we decided to have a wedding was for my parents (we are close and this is what they wanted). Originally we wanted to elope. So now I'm at the point where I don't even want to have the wedding. Trying to find a way to change the ceremony time at the venue I picked so we don't have to do a full blown reception and pay anymore for a wedding we didn't want in the first place. I would cancel completely and elope but I don't want to lose deposits.

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Im so sorry for what you are going through too. Its hard when your family and loved ones don't support your future. I hope things work out for you.

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Thanks! Have you made any more planning steps? Maybe booking a venue or finalizing some details about your date may prove to your SIL that you are serious about getting married.

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Everything is booked. Deposits have been made. SIL is just not a good person and preys on someone's insecurities and emotions. She wants me to be miserable like she is...so I think. She has 2 children under 5 yrs old so I know that is stressful. I am trying to cut her some slack but she just doesn't ever seem to accept me. She married my brother and I am the one trying to impress her.

Congrats on the engagement! I'm sorry your family is being such a pain. Ugh. I haven't dealt with that myself with this wedding but I just want to say be strong and don't let them rain on your big day. If they don't support you maybe let them stay at home the day of.

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Oh ok. Well I wish she would stop being that way but we can't control how people act. I'm tired of all the negativity surrounding my wedding so I just decided that I have to stay positive and focus on what's important.

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Sounds like a great plan. I will try to do the same. Good Luck to you!!!

That sucks, CountryBride! Honestly, a wedding is a lot of work & money. If we had such negativity from both sides we would have 1) eloped and enjoyed an amazing honeymoon or 2) had a small destination weekend wedding with just a few friends--Vegas or mountains, depending if we wanted party or relaxing.

What do you want to, assuming they won't change and may be critical and negative during your entire planning???

You might want to consider seeing a therapist. Sometimes its good to get an outsider perspective to help work through your feelings. This is also someone you could talk to about the ups and downs of your own relationship, so you don't have to talk to your family about it anymore and that will hopefully change their perspective. Do they give you reasons as to why they don't think it will work out? You could remind them that all relationships have their ups and downs, but you know FH is the one because of...(whatever reason you want to give).

Quit trying to impress your sister in law. If you think your brother may also share these feelings (which are awful!) then you need to say something as soon as they say something insulting like that. Don’t let it fester and cause you more stress.

Here’s some good advice I got from my sister; don’t ever talk badly about your SO to your family. You don’t show your family their dirty laundry because what you’re essentials doing is planting seeds of doubt, mistrust, and malice. You love your FH way more than they ever will so when you forgive and forget it doesn’t mean they will follow suit. I had a relationship where every time my SO did something that hurt me I spilled to my mom and dad, so when we got engaged they were not thrilled at all and I eventually broke up with him cuz 1. He was a terrible human being and 2. Family comes first. Even though they said they would support me, the excitement wasn’t there and I knew in the back of my mind that I was going to have a lifetime of awkward family dinners and holidays. It’s unfortunate, but you essentially created this situation and the best way to keep it from getting worse is to keep your dirty laundry between you and your FH and an unbiased 3rd party if you so choose. Best of luck to you!

I Totally agree Noelle If you don’t want your family to know your business you got a learn how to keep it to yourself or among you and your fiancé so like that they don’t have nothing to judge you about Or you’re FH.Good luck