Unsupportive Friend

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Thank you so much for the support. It's been a really rough year for us.

It does sound like maybe your friend is just jealous because her relationship hasn't progressed in the way she had hoped and yours has. It's not your fault, but it is really hard to want to be active in planning someone else's wedding when you've been wanting your own and its not happening. I feel similarly with my friend. If she was in a rock solid relationship and was intentionally and responsibly trying to conceive I'm sure I'd feel differently about her being pregnant, but on top of that, I feel disappointed that my husband and I are supposed to be at this stage but Covid has just completely destroyed what I thought this year and possibly our future would look like for us. Having a baby seems so close and yet so far because of things beyond our control so its extra hard to see someone else "who doesn't deserve it as much as we do" in essence getting the reward we've worked so hard for. Another friend of ours announced she is expecting and I am over the moon excited for her because her and her husband have been so wonderful for us and trying for years now. Maybe your friend feels like she should be getting married because she's had a relationship for so long (I'm assuming longer than yours) and its just really hard to see it happening for you and not for her. I would try to be sympathetic, but it's difficult when someone is being distant.

I think it's important to recognize that sometimes life situations just pull people apart, and it's not because one of the people is "good" and the other is "bad" or "wrong." Sometimes, people just grow apart. We're all inherently flawed in one way or another, sometimes we function fine that way and other times it shapes the people around us and affects our relationships in ways that don't go back to how they were before.

View Quoted Comment Crystal, isn't it so weird how our friends would choose to pout about a decision we've made for OUR wedding instead of just talking to us? I have since removed said person from the wedding party. I expressed to her how I had been feeling about her behavior and she was very rude and tried to play to victim and make everything about her (yet again). I've decided it was best that she not even be included since her energy has been so negative.

First off, Congratulations! I think you did the right thing because you don’t want to give someone a role in your wedding that they don’t deserve. I’m currently going through this same situation in my life during my wedding planning as well. It could very much be she’s jealous, has a lot going on in her personal life or just simply doesn’t care. I honestly don’t think she deserves a role in your wedding. I feel the women standing at the altar rather they are bridesmaids or maid and matron they all should have supported us in some way shape or form. I am currently going through this right now as well. I have a friend whom I’ve been friends with for almost 6 years. I always want to talk about wedding planning because I look at her as a close friend and we share our interests with each other. I get the idea and mindset that she honestly is jealous and doesn’t want to talk about my engagement and me planning my wedding. Let’s just say she wants to play a role in my big day but doesn’t express happiness for me nor does she provides support. Yea I’m all set, as my big day gets closer and I ask all of my women in my life to stand by side she sadly won’t get asked and I’ll explain to her why. I think you should do the same. You deserve women who are genuinely happy for you.