Unsupportive in-laws

My future mil hated me from day one, she tried everything she could do to break us up. His choice was to have no contact with her and his step father. Still his choice. Unfriend the mother or block her. You do not deserve to have this type of treatment. Who cares if she does not support you two? Ignore her and maybe she will grow up.

Aww I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. is your FH really close with his mom by chance? Sometimes it can be hard for mom's to let go of their son's no matter who it's too.

That isn't an excuse though and I am very sorry she is being so hurtful to you. It isn't right. You should have your FH sit down with her and talk to her. it's his mom, so he should set everything straight and tell her you are here to stay and important to him.

I find that most issues, with future in-laws, come from the parents of the Groom. They are "losing" their son. Mothers of the Groom seem to have the most issue with this.

I think some of it comes from the fact that, many times the Bride and her family plan the wedding and the Mother of the Groom becomes a "guest", if you will.

I am sorry that you are going through this. It is so stupid, most of the time.

You may want to sit down with her, and your FH and voice your feelings over what she is doing. If you do not say anything, then you, in a way, tell her that she can trash you at will.

That's what he is doing right now. And we aren't friends on Facebook at least not anymore. I thought they liked me then all of a sudden he tells them we are engaged and bam they hate me publicly. It hurts me but what hurts the most is how I see it hurting him. I love him and she is hirting him which everything in me wants to try and protect him. But I know that will only make matters worse. It's a rock and a hard spot right now.

And the planning hasn't even really started. Its only been several days since the engagement. The only thing we have done is set a date.

My now mother in law of two days did the same exact thing. I kno this can be tough and ultimately bring one of the happiest moments of your lives to a extreme low. I never had problems with her and shes the one strangely enough who suggested the wedding instead of justice of piece as we had planned. I think now it was only to try steal time and break us up. I didnt let her win and i stayed adamant about marrying him no matter what she did. At the end of the day, if he truly loves you and you love him then it will all work out in your favor. Remember to remain the bigger person and ignore all the low blows she throws at you. Shes trying to c if u will break and if you do she wins. If u dont then when u two finally get married then shewill see that the love u have for him is rock solid and appreciate the fight u held for him. I talked to my mother n law the day before our wedding and told her that i loved him and thst i hoped we would learn to love eachother too so we could make my husband happy. If u and ur fh can make it through this then you deserve to be in love. Best of luck and my prayers are with you both

Mine as well...then again according to FH, they have hated every girl he has dated. None of us are good enough for their family. I apparently have been the only one with the balls to stay and deal with it. I know it hurts him too but at some point they have to realize that hes all grown up. He made the choice and they run the risk of losing him and being apart of our family no matter how big it grows. Its up to them. I have always been respectful, however that doesn't mean to lay down get run over. I just dont talk to them until they are nice/civil. Its so bad, fh refuses to tell them where we live. Which happens to be around the corner.

It has just been very tough the last few days with his mother especially. And I have really needed someplace to kind of vent without making things worse. I dont ever want to vent to my FH about his parents cause thats what they seem to be doing about me to him just bad talking me and that is pushing him away form them and I dont ever want to act the way they are acting and put him in the middle of something. What I want to do is actually tell them flat out which I have actually done before but they seem to need a reminder that we are all adults and if they have something they would like to say about me whether good or bad they need to talk directly to my face not just to him. Its just so frustrating cause Im not use to holding back when someone I love is being hurt.

Well what is her problem with you? BTW, I'm NOT saying you deserve her ugliness I'm just curious as to why she is doing this. My sons are 20 & 15 and I couldn't imagine saying or doing anything that would be hurtful to someone they deeply cared about, yet alone announced as a fiance.

Hi Hally, welcome to WW! I would also like to know what her problem is with you?

If it's truly insignificant, it's up to your FH to deal with it. You can't force anyone to like you, and you can't "explain" to them that they should. I understand it hurts him, but that's a basic mutual respect and acceptance relational issue that your FH will have to resolve with his parents. You can only support him, that's all.

Ive been on both sides of this arguement. In my first engagement, in 2009, his mother hated me from day one. I was his first girlfriend, and she didnt like me at all. We announced our engagement, and she did every single thing in her power to break us up. Her influence, mixed with about ten other obstacles ended up convincing him to call off the wedding. She even threatened to stop paying his college tuition which would cost him his career.

Now, i am engaged to a wonderful man whose mother loves me. She loved me from day one and was delighted when we announced our engagement. She has been incredibly supportive and loving the entire time ive known her, and i feel truly blessed to have her as my FMIL.

My advice to you is that sometimes you will get a lovable motherinlaw, sometimes you will get the b***h from hell. you just have to power forward and hope that your fiance realizes what he has with you and doesnt choose to listen to her. There is nothing you can do. Wish all the best to you

I'm really sorry you are going through this! It's not fair and I'm sure you have been nothing but respectful to them and nice! Hold your chin up high you seem like your acting way more mature then they are!

I know how you are feeling FH family, has met me about three times in the last 4 years (they live 10 mins from us) and his grandmother called me Jennifer not even close to my name, his aunt keeps calling me his ex's name and his sister calls me a B. And to top it off, at his grandfather's funeral a couple of weeks ago while standing in the family line his father would introduce FH skip over me and introduce FSIL. Like I was chop liver or something. They seem to not approve of me either. Good luck to you and keep your chin up!

Ugh, that sucks. This should be a happy time for both of you and she's ruining it.

I echo what the other ladies say. Best of luck to you and you two will power through it.

I'm in the same boat as you and since it got too hard to kill her with kindness, I just blew her off. I am done with them. I am irish and native american so my temper gets the best of me, it' s in my gene pool and I can't help it, but man it would be nice if they would just shut up and get out of the way!!! I love FH but his family drives me nuts, they just all have some serious issues.

Going threw the same...my FH family drives me crazy with all the wedding stuff and we invisioned this and that so on and so fourth where were just thinking of just eloping we already moved 4 hours away from them so they can't say we where in the neighborhood. Just remember to stay focus and love each other Good luck!

Just try and keep in mind that anything they say or do will be in his best interest (or so they think) because they do not know you very well. They are always going to be suspicious of you in every way. Even if you were around for 10 years. It will take time. You will have to continue to be yourself and do not try to please everyone and they will come around. If not, they will learn to be cordial.

I have made COUNTLESS posts in the forums about the SAME thing!! I finally let one of the inlaws have it the other night!! I feel bad, but darn it, enough is enough!...

STAY STRONG Darlin and ur love will previal! :-)

I am so sorry you are going through this. Like the other ladies said maybe she has picked 1 silly thing to be mad at you about, maybe you or FH can find out what that is and see if it is something that can be fixed?

If not, like the other ladies have mentioned it is your FH's job to decide what relationship they will have going forwards. He obviously LOVES YOU and wants to be with YOU forever. I would focus on the positive and enjoy the engagement period. If you ever need someone to vent to you can always PM me or make another post here on the boards we try to be as supportive as possible

I know some times it just helps to vent to a neutral party, thats why I pay my therapist lol. I dont need her to be my friend, i just need to be able to unload and not have some one judge me for it!

You have taken the right steps in not being FB friends, i suggest blocking so she cant tag you or FB stalk you. that would be my only other suggestion at this time.

*hugs*

I'm not going to block her because I don't say or post anything wrong or negative on my Facebook. I also don't go out get drunk and post stupid pictures. If she wants to FB stalk me that's fine cause all it is is scripture statusses and pictures of him and I or our puppy sako. Plus if I block her it means I can't see hers and that's the only way cause my FH wants to "protect" me from what she is saying so he won't ever tell me what she says.

And I'm not invited to go to any family gatherings because her excuse is that we are not married yet so I am not family so I am not wanted or needed to be there.

Aww Hally that sucks plain and simple! WW is definitely the place to vent and chat about how to handle these things!

I am extremely lucky in my FIL's but my sister has had a terrible time she got married last year and has had not only her MIL but her 2 SIL's ganging up on her as well! It's really sad and I hate seeing her and her H go through this...he's such a sweetheart I don't know how he survived that way!! All I can say is make sure how you tell FH how you feel about these things, I'm sure he knows but I think it's nice for you to have an outlet with him as he is your partner and he needs to know how you feel. I definitely do not mean sinking to they're level though, but I do think your in it together and it's nice for you both to freely talk about it all and how you feel to handle each situation! Grrrr I"m so sorry I hope it works out and gets better I hope they see that they are damaging they're relationship with they're son and they're future daughter in law!!