Unsure of a bridesmaid

Are you still close enough you can voice your concerns? I would start there. This is you and your fiancés day and you do not need to be worried about tension or who is or isnt mad that you didnt chose them.

I would have to say it would depend on the arguments. I had a similar situation with a friend of mine but we have been friends since middle school (15+ years) and we aren't the type of people to hold onto something like that. So, if you can say the agreement wasn't something you both will hold onto, I wouldn't count her out of being a friend.

Now with her not getting along with fiancés groomsmen it might/will cause tension at wedding party events. Even though you can't tell someone to just get over not like someone you can ask them to try not to mind that person. This will also be something you'd have to have fiancés to talk to their groomsmen about. Even though you do want your wedding party to mesh well people have their opinions and ways. You know your friend better then any of us, if you think she'd be on her best behavior on your day give her the chance and make it clear you don't want to tension and awkwardness.

Have you asked her yet in any way? I mean just off the cuff without proposal boxes etc? If you have, then you're stuck with her I'm afraid. The risk of kicking her out is that you might lose the friendship totally.

I think it depends on how recently that comment about being a bridesmaid was. If it was years ago, I think you're in the clear. If it was after you got engaged... a little less in the clear. But I think that, based solely on your post and the way you worded it, that you've already sort of made up your mind about not really wanting her to be in your bridal party.

Like Tina said, if you're still close enough to have a discussion about it, start there. But if you aren't, then that's also a pretty good indicator that it probably doesn't make much sense to ask her. Unless you made the comment about her being a bridesmaid after you got engaged, that is.

Good luck!

The issue with the groomsmen I wouldn't even take into consideration, I would be worried if it was with another bridesmaid. The bachelorette party, planning, etc, is done with other girls not with the groomsmen. The only time she will interact with him is probably rehearsal and wedding day, it sounds to me like you're using that as an excuse. I'm sure your fiance didn't consider not asking the guy to be his groomsman because of the possibility she could be a bridesmaid. Like with any relationship, people have disagreements and fights and it's about how you move on from them. If this was a fight you two had and have since talked and hungout, then it should be over and you should let it go because otherwise it would mean you have been talking and hangout with this person while harvesting certain feelings. I have moved around the country several times and friendships always change because while I hangout with friends that are in the same city as me more, my friends from other places will always be my friend. This is what you should consider:

1. When you two talk, is it because only you reach out?

2. Would you guys still talk if you didn't reach out?

3. How much DO YOU care about her?