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Just Said Yes May 2023

Unsure of inviting cousins

Gabby, on December 14, 2021 at 1:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 3
My fiancé has a huge family. He has 16 cousins (25 including spouses) on his mom’s side and only 6 (12 including spouses) on his dad’s. We’re super close with almost all the cousins on his dad’s side and not close at all with the cousins on his mom’s. In fact, he can’t even name all of them or their spouses. We are hoping to keep the list to ~100, but including all of the cousins on his mom’s side would take up nearly 1/4 of the list.


We plan on inviting all the aunts and uncles from both sides. I know there’s a lot of advice about inviting all or none by generation, but we couldn’t imagine being married without his cousins on his dad’s side.

What is the etiquette surrounding not inviting cousins from one side of the family? How do we navigate this tactfully? Thanks xx

3 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on December 14, 2021 at 8:37 PM
  • E
    Expert September 2022
    EGD ·
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    I have 10 cousins on my moms side, and 3 on my dads. I grew up with my moms family, we saw them weekly, and we were raised as siblings rather than cousins. My dad's side of the family I saw probably once a month, if that when I was younger, and as I got older I only see them at funerals.

    We are inviting all Aunts and Uncles from both my parents sides, but only the cousins on my moms side (minus one who's an exception and a lunatic lol) I didn't want people who weren't in my every day life at my wedding, so I wasn't going to invite the cousins I never see and aren't even friends with on social media to come to such an important day of my life.

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    We only invited the cousins we’re close to. H hasn’t seen his cousins on his dad’s side in two decades. Inviting them made no sense. His cousins on his mom’s side though we see quite frequently and two of them were groomsmen. They were all invited. If anyone questions it, simply say “we chose to create our guest list based on those people we couldn’t imagine celebrating our day without”.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    We usually say to invite in "circles" ie everyone of equal relationship there. However, this doesn't even make sense if he can't even name some of them. I'd go with all the cousins or none on the mom's side. If anyone asks, Sarah had a great response!

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