Unvaccinated family members

The thing is with all the news stations, social media and anything else you can get true and false information off of, everyone has a different opinion on the matter. Some people are really stubborn in their views as well. I wouldn't necessarily call them covid idiots because everyone is trying to choose what they feel is best for themselves. There is still things unknown and things constantly changing. If they don't want to at least get tested I'd just let it go. I know it sucks because I have people who told me if the mask is mandatory they will not come. I'm not even asking people to be vaccinate but at least wear a mask and some won't even do that much. But I'm not letting it effect my day. They are free to do whatever they want and I'm free to enjoy my day. I'm sorry it has come to this but I'm sure your wedding is still going to be beautiful. I hope they can at least come around to getting tested.

I’m fortunate to not have any anti-vax people in my life but I sympathize with your situation. I think you should give it some time. A lot can change in the next couple of months that could result in them getting (whether they like it or not) the vaccine before your wedding day. If *I* were you, I would not knowingly invite unvaccinated people to my wedding. I do think you have plenty of time to make that decision as invites should go out around December for your February wedding. Good luck.

I probably wouldn't invite unvaccinated people to my wedding either. You still do have time for things to change, and I hope they do for you!

You still have some time, so things can change but ultimately you can't control how they feel. There is a lot of unknown, uncertainty and everyone is just trying to do what they feel is right for them. We can't hold their choices in such unprecedented times as a personal slight.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, you are of course right and we don't know how it will develop until February... I guess it just makes me really emotional because I can't comprehend their choices

View Quoted Comment Seriously, there is nothing "unknown" about this... It's just selfishness and luck of proper education

View Quoted Comment Thanks. That would be the rational choice, yes, but I'm still hoping they will respond to the "it's either you or grandma" argument and at least decide to get tested.

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Honestly if they don't, then it's their loss. Your wedding will still be lovely!

People have plenty of reasons for not wanting to get the vaccine, and it isn't very tolerant, charitable, or frankly nice of you to refer to them as "covidiots" because they don't want to get the vaccine. You should not feel like they "don't care about you" because their decision not to get vaccinated is a medical choice they made for themselves and doesn't have anything to do with you or your wedding.

As for what you should do, that's entirely up to you. If you don't want unvaccinated people at your wedding then don't invite them and own that decision. Just don't make this about you, because it isn't.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for saying this. It’s amazing how disrespectful and dehumanizing some people can become when others don’t do or see things their way.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I guess I'll just wait till I see them next and then we'll have The Talk. I think it's better to discuss this face to face.

View Quoted Comment I think it's disrespectful and dehumanising to risk other people's lives just because you've decided to ignore all the proven scientific facts, but let's not discuss this here, this wasn't the topic and I will not engage in this sort of conversations. This is and was the last time.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely agree with this.

I don't know why my last comment didn't get posted, so I'll try again...
So yeah, this escalated quickly. What I wanted to clarify: I do not understand their decision to refuse the vaccine and I find it wrong and illogical, but I do accept that this is their personal decision and that I can not influence it. What I can and will not accept is their present refusal to get tested, because this directly endangers other guests - e.g. older people like my (and their!) grandparents. Seriously people, getting tested is not "dehumanising" or "disrespectful", it's just common sense...

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1. This is a public internet forum, you don't get to decide what people say on your post.

2. No one but you is discussing whether to get the vaccine - there are 2 (edit: maybe 3) dissenting voices on this thread and neither have said not to get the shot. The fact is the unvaccinated people exist and (in my and K's opinion, if I may put words in her mouth) deserve to be treated with basic human decency.

3. You've decided you don't want to treat your relatives with this basic human decency so the reality is you probably won't have a relationship with them anymore. You don't like or respect them and if I were in their shoes I wouldn't want a relationship with someone who spoke about me so derisively.

How do you deal with people who make different choices than you? You respect their personal decisions as you ask them to respect yours. You can't seem to do that, so your only other option is to cut contact. What exactly are you looking for here?

Edit: your OP didn't say anything about getting tested. I think it's reasonable to request a test as long as the cost is covered by you/insurance/the state/etc.

View Quoted Comment WeddingWire leans right it seems… and the moderators like to delete comments they don’t agree with (assuming they’ll delete this one for exactly that reason).

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Well, you started the discussion and threw the ugly tone into it.

If you’ve been vaccinated then it should not be your concern. And you can disagree with someone without calling them an idiot, especially someone you purport to love.
I would also point out that if you drive a car, you risk other people’s lives every day. Think about that.

View Quoted Comment You don't have to understand why they choose not to get vaccinated just like they don't have to understand why you choose to. But calling people you say you love as covidiots and selfish, and saying they have lack of education is absolutely wrong. Just because you don't agree with their choices doesn't make them horrible people. Rather you want to believe it or not there is still a lot of unknowns with the virus and vaccine. Yes everyday we get more knowledgeable about it, but to some they are still waiting for more answers. And that is perfectly ok. I think if you want them either to get vaccinated or tested then you just need to tell them that they either choose one of those options or they don't get to come.

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Solid plan. I hope they come to their senses on this. It's alarming how much misinformation there is out there!

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Wow I didn't see this comment before I posted my last one. You don't get to tell people how to post though.