Unwanted guests

I had a similar issue with massive amounts of family and close business associates expecting to be invited. I made a very clear, precise post apologizing and explaining that due to social distancing and Covid restrictions, the venue would ONLY allow us to have 100 total human beings, bride and groom included. We had to therefore, "unfortunately" keep the guest list very small and intimate, but we're streaming the whole wedding and reception on Facebook Live so everyone can still be part of it. We also put out a "PLEASE do not feel obligated to attend, we completely understand finances, schedules, and health concerns" type addendum to the post.

If directly asked, tell them you don’t have enough room for everyone - but it’s incredibly rude to ask someone this, so anyone who does, knows they are initiating an awkward encounter, so don’t worry that you’re offending them. They know they are out of line.
Don’t explain yourselves to the general public - people know you can’t invite everyone to your wedding, they are just being pushy.

“While we appreciate you thinking of us, we just can’t invite everyone so our guest list is limited to those who receive an invitation.”


Don’t share any details about your wedding on social media. The less all these people know, the better.

When the time comes to send out invitations, only send out invites to those who you want to include. If anyone asks why they didn't receive an invitation, you could reply with something along the lines of, "Due to limited venue capacity, we had to severely limit our guest list, and we unfortunately weren't able to include everyone that we wanted to."

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This is the best advice

View Quoted Comment Love this! Thank you so much!

View Quoted Comment Agree! Thank you

View Quoted Comment Ok perfect! I’ll definitely use that. Some family members even asked my sister (she’s maid of honor) what do we still need for our wedding or what would we like as a gift. It’s just so awkward having to explain this haha. But thank you so much!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! ❤️

Just don't send an invite. Our venue has security, so anyone we didn't invite will be turned away. I'm not inviting my mother and she won't be allowed in. I'm not dealing with her foolishness on my day.

"Unfortunately, we couldn't invite everyone that we would have liked to. Let's get together and catch up after!"' Smile brightly and change the subject.

I agree with keeping all wedding details off social media as well.

I am also having a limited amount of guests at my wedding. I thought I have always wanted a big wedding, but as I got older it was just something I no longer wanted. Instead I opted for the intimacy of the ceremony. Therefore, I am going for a microwedding instead.

Just make sure to indicate like what the previous comments stated that it is limited and by invite ONLY. And if you are sending out RSVP cards to those invited guests, I would still put down how many people are invited to the party. For example, "To the John Smith family. Party of __/4." That way it is directed to THEM. In case another family or friend asks for a picture or screen shot they can't really say or do anything because it specifically is directed to a particular person/family.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this 100%. People know it’s rude to ask but they don’t care. Do not tell white lies such as Covid, space, budget, etc. It is no one’s business why you are not inviting everyone.

View Quoted Comment Yes! Love that. I will definitely do that. For the save the dates I write the name for whom it was for. Ex: Klara & Alec. So I’ll do the exact same thing for the invites. I also won’t be allowing plus ones since it’s meant to be a “small” wedding.

View Quoted Comment They truly do not care! A family friend has asked my cousin if they are invited and when my cousin responded “no sorry there’s a limited amount of people, and they are only inviting close friends & immediate family members” our friend responded with “wow that’s messed up” haha.

View Quoted Comment Our venue has security as well! My mom told me the other day “well you can’t stop people from going to Puerto Rico” and I told her “yes true but I can stop them from coming to the wedding” lol I’m not inviting my moms boyfriend and she’s refusing to come to the wedding because of that. Oh well lol less $ we have to pay.

View Quoted Comment Oh yes! Good response. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment That is ballsy! I would reconsider that friendship since they don’t respect anyone.

View Quoted Comment Right? It’s funny how all of a sudden tons of “friends & family” are wanting to come back into our lives just to get invited 😂. It’s so childish. One of my husband’s aunts (who I only met once and hasn’t even met our kids) called him out of the blue and said “Rene just wanted to call and say that we will for sure be at your wedding!” And he’s the type who doesn’t care what he says, so he immediately shut her down lol

View Quoted Comment That's the best way to look at it. It's your day and you get to decide who celebrates it with you.